


The Weight of Time

by areyouarealmonster



Series: Oculus [5]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Adjusting to New Circumstances, Background Rip Hunter/Jonah Hex - Freeform, Background Sara Lance/Amaya Jiwe - Freeform, Chronic Illness, Established Relationship, M/M, Team Legends is confused by The New Leonard Snart TM, also as with the first arc, coldatom, i said there was gonna be less angst than usual but i lied, if that was not clear in the first arc of oculus i am sorry, it will be way more clear this time around, looping in bits and pieces of legends s2 when convenient, the angst has arrived welcome to pain, this is a major plot point, you guys leonard snart is chronically ill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9241127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouarealmonster/pseuds/areyouarealmonster
Summary: Leonard Snart has learned (kind of) how to be a superhero with his new powers to control time (thanks, Oculus). Now, he and Ray Palmer are back on the Waverider, adjusting to being back with the Legends.It goes just about as well as you'd expect.





	1. Painful Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to [Oculus](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7984681) and will most likely not make sense without reading that first.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to stand here and be hugged by the entirety of Team Flash,” Leo drawls, and is annoyed (but less than he should be) when the rest of Team Flash does exactly that.

Cisco hugging him is not the strangest thing that’s happened to Leo lately, but it comes pretty close. The weirdest part of it, actually, is how comforting it is. Cisco’s head rests on his shoulder and all Leo can think is that he’s going to be so proud to have this kid as a little brother, someday.

 

“Gonna miss you, Lenny,” Cisco says, wiping tears from his eyes as he steps back. Then, apparently, it’s Caitlin’s turn to hug Leo.

 

“Please don’t tell me I’m gonna have to stand here and be hugged by the entirety of Team Flash,” Leo drawls, and is annoyed (but less than he should be) when the rest of Team Flash does exactly that. Cisco even joins back in, and Leo is surrounded by a gaggle of small, irritating nerds.

 

Nerds who he cares for and appreciates, but nerds nonetheless. And not that Barry isn’t slightly taller than he is. Still, his point stands.

 

He catches Raymond’s eye and sees that his boyfriend is trying not to laugh at him. Raymond fails, and cracks up while trying to catch up with the new guy…Nick?

 

The rest of the Legends are still in various states of shock that Leo is actually letting Barry, Cisco, Caitlin, Iris, Harry, Jesse, and Wally hug him like it’s a team bonding exercise.

 

“Alright, alright, off!” Leo says, but it comes out a lot less sharp than he’d intended. “That’s enough hugging, it’s not like I’m leaving you forever. Lisa would kill me if I tried to do that.” Lisa nods emphatically as Leo is released from the crowd of bodies around him.

 

Team Flash is then replaced by his baby sister. This goodbye is both more and less emotional than his previous goodbye with her, the first time he went on the Waverider. The last time, they were both a lot more emotionally repressed. Now, though, both of them have had the combined efforts of Cisco Ramon and Raymond Palmer to get them to open up about their _feelings_.

 

So Leo and Lisa don’t _cry_ , exactly, but they don’t not cry either. Leo feels his eyes well up a bit, and he sees that Lisa’s eyes are wet when she pulls back from the hug.

 

“Take care of yourself, Lis’,” Leo says, putting his hands on Lisa’s shoulders.

 

“You too, Lenny.”

 

“Heeeey, not to interrupt or anything,” Sara says, interrupting, “but we’re kinda in the middle of a mission here, so can we finish with the goodbyes and get going?”

 

Leo nods, and he and Ray (and the Legends who actually know Team Flash) finish one last round of hugs before all the non-Legends shuffle off the ship. Raymond slings an arm around Leo’s shoulders as they watch everyone walk out of the ship and back through the S.T.A.R. Labs parking lot.

 

Then it’s just the Legends, looking at Leo like they have no idea who he is.

 

“Right,” Sara says, settling down in the captain’s chair, “find your seats, everyone. Let’s go.”

 

“I’d better go let Jonah know we’re heading out,” Rip says, hurrying off the bridge.

 

“You could just have Gideo—never mind.” Sara rolls her eyes, turning in her chair.

 

Leo and Raymond grab chairs next to each other, and Raymond holds out his hand. “Ready, love?” he asks, and Leo grins, taking Raymond’s offered hand.

 

“Hell yeah.”

 

“Really?” Sara mutters as she pulls the lever.

 

Leo feels his stomach drop as they time-jump away. He’s hit by a wave of agony as they fly through the time stream, and he’s got a death grip on Raymond’s hand, but he can’t seem to release the muscles. He grits his teeth to keep from screaming, and he’s pretty sure his nose is bleeding.

 

Just fucking great.

 

After a few more minutes of hellish pain, the Waverider touches down somewhere that Leo doesn’t give a fuck about, because the timelines are currently kicking his ass.

 

“Leo? Leo, are you okay?”

 

Leo is barely aware of Raymond leaning over him, can barely see his boyfriend through the blinding light of thousands of new timelines.

 

“Help me get him to the med-bay?” Leo hears Raymond ask, and then he’s being supported (dragged) down the hallways of the Waverider, and placed on yet another cot, hooked up to yet another machine. As if he hadn’t had enough of that back at S.T.A.R. Labs.

 

“ _Oculus_ ,” he growls through the drying blood on his lips. All he gets in response is a flash of light, barely visible between the timeline images, and a surge of what feels like regret. No help there.

 

“Gideon,” Leo vaguely hears Rip say, “why don’t you give him a sedative?”

 

Then Leo hears nothing at all.

 

—

 

When Leo wakes up, it takes him a few seconds to realize that he’s actually on the Waverider and not still at S.T.A.R. Labs. The lights of the med-bay are dimmed, and there’s a bowl with bloody water and a cloth stained red on the table attached to the chair. He swipes at his face to check that it’s clear of blood.

 

Leo looks around and sees that Raymond is curled up on the other cot, fast asleep.

 

“Ray—” Leo coughs. Raymond’s head shoots up and he almost falls off the cot. Leo would laugh if he didn’t _hurt_ so damn much.

 

“Hey, love, you scared me. Are you okay?”

 

“I think so,” Leo chokes out, and Raymond hands him a water bottle. Leo sits up, panting slightly, and chugs the entirety of the water. “Thanks,” he says, handing it back. Raymond refills it and puts it down on the table attached to the cot, next to the bowl of bloody water.

 

“What happened?” Raymond asks.

 

Leo has to think about it for a minute. He’s figured out how to communicate slightly with the Oculus, although it’s a bit like worrying at a loose tooth with your tongue—it feels weird and it’s not very effective. Still, it’s something. “I think…I think being in a new time period means I have to readjust to a new set of timelines every time we jump.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That sucks. Do you think they’re all gonna be as bad as this?” Raymond looks worried, and Leo reaches out and takes one of his hands.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I think this was so bad because it was the first one, and the Oculus didn’t know how to adjust to it properly…” Leo mentally pokes at the Oculus, to see if he’s right. He gets back a feeling that he’s come to associate with a nod, so he takes it to mean that he’s correct. “Yeah, I think the others won’t be quite so bad.”

 

“Good.” Raymond presses a kiss to Leo’s forehead. “How do you feel now?”

 

“Crappy. Wanna go back to sleep.”

 

Raymond wraps an arm around Leo’s waist and half-supports him through the ship to their room. They hadn’t even had time to put their bags in Raymond’s old room, but everything seems to be there anyway.

 

“I think Jax and Nate brought our stuff in while we were in the med-bay,” Raymond says, to Leo’s questioning look.

 

“Nice of them,” Leo mutters, sitting down on the edge of the bed and tugging his sweater off. He leans down to unlace his boots and almost falls over. “Fuck.”

 

Raymond steadies him, looking concerned. “Let me help, love.” He unlaces and pulls off Leo’s boots as Leo just watches, his head swimming.

 

“Thanks,” Leo says, falling back onto the bed. Raymond sits down next to him, one leg tucked up under him, peering down at Leo. “What?”

 

“Just wondering if you’re gonna fall asleep like this or if you want to, like, lie in bed like a normal person.”

 

“Hate you,” Leo replies, without any venom behind it.

 

Raymond grins. “You love me.”

 

“Shut up and take your shoes off so I can use you as a pillow.”

 

Raymond’s grin grows wider as he kicks his shoes off and pulls off his sweater as well. “D’you mind if I read a book on my tablet?” he asks. “I’m not really tired but I’m also not gonna say no to cuddling.”

 

“’s fine,” Leo answers, his legs still dangling over the edge of the bed. He wants to move, but he can’t quite make his body respond to his commands.

 

Raymond snags his tablet from his bag and puts it on the shelf next to the bed. “Okay, come on, scootch over, you can’t lie on me if you don’t move out of the way first.”

 

Leo finally makes his legs obey, and with a bit of shifting, he’s curled up on his boyfriend. He’s exhausted and everything hurts, but he’s warm and cozy with his head pillowed on Raymond’s chest. He’s been toying with an idea for a few weeks. It seems as good a time as any to bring it up. “Raymond?”

 

“Hmm?” Raymond lowers his tablet a bit, focusing on Leo.

 

“I, uh, you know my general stance on pet-names,” he murmurs, forcing the words out through sleep-numbed lips.

 

“You think they’re silly,” Raymond replies.

 

“Yeah, well. I might be revising my stance on that a little bit.” Leo can hear Raymond’s heart beating, and his headache pounds in rhythm with it.

 

Raymond kisses the top of his head. “Oh yeah?”

 

Leo’s half asleep but he’s been thinking about it so long that his words come out clear enough. “Mmm. I, uh. I wanna call you ‘darling.’ In private, only, though.”

 

Raymond wiggles around so that his entire body wraps around Leo’s. “I love that _so much_ , Leo.”

 

“Yeah?” Leo nestles up closer into his boyfriend’s embrace.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, good.” Leo kisses him quickly. “I am gonna go to sleep now, though.”

 

“Aw, fine. I guess you probably need it.”

 

They shift around again so Raymond is half-propped up on pillows and Leo’s head is resting on his chest. Raymond is a furnace against his clammy skin and it should be uncomfortable, but Leo just feels cozy. Raymond is radiant, and Leo uses him like a heating pad to soothe his aching body. He falls asleep, as content as he can be with all the pain he’s in.

 

—

 

Leo isn’t sure how long he sleeps, but it feels like it’s been no time at all when he wakes up with a sharp wave of nausea. He sits bolt upright, startling Raymond, who must have dozed off at some point, if the tablet hanging halfway off the mattress is any indication.

 

Raymond asks what’s wrong, but Leo can’t answer. Instead, he jumps out of bed and bolts into their bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time to lose the meager contents of his stomach. Raymond follows, a half-step behind him, making soothing noises and rubbing his back as Leo kneels over the toilet.

 

Leo’s had practice at this, but throwing is still high on the list of his least favorite things. It’s so _messy_ and there’s no good way to make it stop. His gag reflex is in overdrive, and he can’t get it to stop even though there’s nothing left in his stomach.

 

“Apologies for interrupting, gentlemen,” Gideon pipes in, in a gap between dry heaving while Leo just tries to catch his breath, “but the team has returned from their mission. Captain Hunter would like to come check up on you.”

 

Leo meets Raymond’s eyes and nods. Raymond can do the actual responding, but Leo is okay with Rip coming to check up on him. It’s nice to know that the team cares, or even just the man himself.

 

“Tell him he can come by,” Raymond answers. “Oh! And to bring some ginger ale, we haven’t set that up yet.”

 

Leo feels the nausea finally start to subside and he sits down against the cold metal wall of the bathroom, panting. He closes his eyes, leaning his head back and trying to catch his breath. Raymond’s hand rests on his knee, rubbing small circles through the rough material of the jeans he didn’t get a chance to change out of.

 

They sit like that until Rip knocks on the door, and Raymond gets up to let him in.

 

“How is he?” Leo hears Rip asking.

 

“Not great,” Raymond replies. “But he’ll be okay. This happens, although it hasn’t been this bad for a while.”

 

Leo hears the two of them come back into the bathroom. He opens his eyes a crack and sees Raymond sitting back down across from him, Rip leaning in the doorway.

 

“Hi, Rip,” he croaks, opening his eyes fully.

 

“You are certainly having a day, aren’t you, Mr. Snart?”

 

Leo nods and takes the ginger ale that Rip offers him, trying to ignore the way Rip’s eyes linger on the scars covering his arms. He’s glad the rest of them are hidden under his t-shirt, and that it’s too cold on the Waverider to sleep in fewer clothes.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You are most welcome. Anything else I can do to help? Or Gideon can do?” Rip looks moderately concerned, and Leo feels a rush of gratitude. He shakes his head as he sips the ginger ale; there’s really nothing Rip can do for him at this point.

 

Raymond answers Rip, “I think we’re good. Oh! I did have a question: Gideon still calls you Captain?”

 

Rip snorts. “Can’t get her to call me anything else. The team may belong to Miss Lance, but Gideon still belongs to me, apparently.”

 

“Good to know,” Raymond replies.

 

Rip nods. “The mission is going well, by the way. We’re done for the night, but we still have some more to do tomorrow, so we won’t be going anywhere for a day or two. Hopefully that gives Mr. Snart enough time to adjust before we time-jump again.”

 

“Great,” Leo mutters. He has no idea what the mission is, not that he cares at the moment. Not that he would be helpful in any way in his current state.

 

“Good!” Raymond says. “I can maybe help with things tomorrow if you need, depending on how Leo is doing. If he’s still not going well, I’m gonna stay with him, but if he’s better, I can go help.”

 

“Thank you for the offer, Dr. Palmer, but I think we’ll be all set. You just take care of him. Mr. Snart, you focus on getting better.” With that, Rip is gone, and Raymond’s hand settles again on Leo’s leg, rubbing comforting circles.

 

“Okay,” Leo says after a few minutes, “help me up? I think I’m good.” Raymond supports him as he stands, and holds on to him as Leo rinses out his mouth and brushes his teeth.

 

Then they finally change out of their jeans and into comfy shirts and sweatpants. Or, in Leo’s case, into a pair of snowflake patterned pajama pants that Lisa had given him. He’s got about five pairs now, all different shades, from a variety of people, including Raymond and Cisco.

 

Then it’s back to bed, Leo and Raymond curled up around each other in the small bed, slipping contentedly into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Dubious for, as usual, being a spectacular beta. <3 <3


	2. Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Raymond both groan, their enjoyable morning sex time turned into _have a conversation with Mick_ time.

Leo feels a bit better when he wakes up the next morning. His head still aches and his stomach is still churning, but only slightly more than usual, so he takes it as a win.

 

Raymond is still asleep next to him, and Leo takes a minute to smile softly at his sleeping boyfriend. It’s been less than a day since they got back on the Waverider. He shouldn’t really be surprised that the Oculus has already caused him to throw up, get a nosebleed, and almost pass out, but he still is.

 

Leo had gotten used to, if not being fully healthy like he was before, at least just living with a minimum of a headache and low-level exhaustion. The past twenty-four hours have been more of a setback than he’d been expecting, but at least he’s still waking up curled against Raymond. At least he’s slightly more functional this morning, so he might be helpful on whatever this mission is. If not this one, then maybe the next one.

 

He feels Raymond stir against him, and he waits. Instead of opening his eyes, Raymond makes a contented noise and nestles closer against Leo.

 

Leo laughs softly, pressing a kiss to Raymond’s forehead. “Good morning, sleepy.”

 

“Mmm. Five more minutes.” Raymond’s hand slides up the back of Leo’s shirt as he talks, digging his fingers gently into Leo’s back, massaging at the muscles on either side of Leo’s spine.

 

“You don’t have to convince me, _darling_ ,” Leo drawls, quietly.

 

Raymond’s eyes shoot open at the pet name. He stares into Leo’s eyes for a second, then closes the short distance between them, kissing Leo roughly. Leo moans into the kiss, pleased at Raymond’s strong reaction to the term of endearment.

 

Raymond takes the lead, pushing Leo onto his back, straddling Leo and nipping at his neck. Leo threads his fingers through Raymond’s hair, enjoying the sensations of his boyfriend on top of him. Raymond starts to work Leo’s shirt over his head when he’s stopped by a loud knocking on the door.

 

“Wake up!” Mick’s rough voice says through the closed door. “Need to talk to you.”

 

Leo and Raymond both groan, their enjoyable morning sex time turned into _have a conversation with Mick_ time.

 

“Give us a few minutes!” Raymond calls back, and he and Leo throw themselves out of bed and into the first clothes they find. Leo uses the bathroom first, and quickly, while Raymond finger-combs his hair so it’s not a complete mess. Raymond takes his turn in the bathroom, as Leo goes to open the door.

 

Mick is leaning against the doorframe, looking slightly put out at having to wait. Leo gestures him in, and Mick throws himself down in the lone chair in the room. Leo perches on the edge of the bed, waiting.

 

Raymond comes out of the bathroom, looking back and forth between the two of them. He finally breaks the silence: “So, what’s up, Mick?”

 

“We need to talk,” Mick growls, looking at Leo.

 

“About what?” Ray asks.

 

Mick glares at him. “Not you, haircut. Get out.”

 

Ray surges forward, about to start yelling at Mick, but Leo stops him with a hand on his chest.

 

“Hey. It’s okay.” Raymond looks at him in confusion, but Leo continues, “Give us a few, Raymond?”

 

Raymond nods and gives Mick a glare in return, although his has considerably less heat behind it than Mick’s, due to lack of practice in glares-that-could-kill. He kisses Leo quickly and walks out of the room, letting the door close behind him.

 

As soon as he’s gone, Leo rounds on Mick. “You do _not_ get to talk to Raymond that way,” Leo hisses.

 

Mick crosses his arms across his chest. “You’re not the boss of me anymore, Snart.”

 

“Oh yeah? Says who?” Leo asks angrily.

 

“Says you, when you _died_ and then somehow came back to _life_. You didn’t tell me that you were alive for _months_! The boy scout got to know, but I didn’t? What the _fuck_ was up with that?”

 

Leo deflates. “Shit, Mick, I didn’t—”

 

“I get it, Snart, you’re in love with haircut. Whatever. But you couldn’t even tell me? No, I had to think you were _dead_ , for almost a year!”

 

“I couldn’t…” Leo pauses, collecting his thoughts. “If I had told you, you would’ve wanted to come get me. I couldn’t have that until I mastered my powers. I know I haven’t had a chance to tell you about them yet, but let me just say that it would have been very dangerous and very painful to be near the team for a long time.”

 

Mick grunts. “How _did_ you manage to only tell haircut?”

 

“It’s, uh, a long story.”

 

Mick just stares at him. So, Leo tells him everything. It’s halting, and a bit awkward at times, but he manages to get the whole story out.

 

“So, lemme get this straight,” Mick says, when he finally finishes, “you and haircut hooked up because of some vivid sex dreams that were actually _real_. Then he just showed up at your door with those puppy dog eyes, and you agreed to _date_ him?”

 

Leo nods. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, especially since I couldn’t actually be in the same space with him for the first few months but…yeah, pretty much.”

 

“That’s the most fucking ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

Leo laughs at that. “Uh. It’s pretty weird, as far as getting together stories go.” He pauses, and really looks at Mick. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was alive. I just—”

 

“You said.” Mick cuts him off. “With the whole eyeball bleeding—”

 

“Why does everyone always focus on the goddamn eyeball bleeding?”

 

“—and the _death_.”

 

“Oh, yeah, that part.”

 

Mick grunts, again. “I get why you didn’t want me to come get you with the team, but you could’a told me with that whole dream sharing or astral whatever thing.”

 

Leo shakes his head. “How would you have taken that, Mick? Would you have believed me? It’s a miracle Raymond believed me, honestly. Would you have asked Gideon if I was real or a hallucination, if I astral projected in front of you in the kitchen?”

 

“Uh…” Mick stalls, looking around the room.

 

“Is that a no?” Leo prods.

 

“Yeah, asshole, you know I wouldn’t’ve asked Gideon,” Mick growls.

 

Leo smiles sadly. “You would’ve thought you were losing your mind. I’m sorry, Mick, but there was no good way to tell you I was actually alive. Not until I was ready to come back on the Waverider.”

 

“It’s just.” Mick sighs, not meeting Leo’s eyes. “I’ve been a bit…” He trails off, and Leo can see sadness in his face.

 

“Mick?”

 

“Didn’t know what to do without you, is all,” Mick mutters, his eyes focused on a sock that Raymond had discarded in a corner last night and neglected to pick up.

 

It’s Leo’s turn to sigh deeply. “Fuck, I’m sorry, buddy.”

 

“Well, you’re back now, so.” Mick finally looks up, into Leo’s eyes. “ _So_. You and haircut, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Leo’s lips quirk up, briefly.

 

“Didn’t see that coming.”

 

“Why not? Come on, Mick, you know he’s my type.”

 

“Sure, but, it’s weird.” Mick shakes his head.

 

“Weird?” Leo raises an eyebrow at him.

 

“To see you like this. Happy.”

 

Leo smiles softly. “Raymond makes me happy. It is weird, but it’s good.”

 

“You’re just different,” Mick mutters.

 

“Yeah.” Leo lets his eyes drift over to the door, lets his mind drift to the rest of the team, somewhere beyond that door. “I hadn’t really noticed how much I’d changed until I got back on the Waverider. It’s easy to forget, when you’re around the combined efforts of Raymond and Team Flash.”

 

Mick just shakes his head. Leo takes that as a sign to continue.

 

“Raymond and Cisco pretty much made it their mission to get me and Lis’ out of our shells.”

 

“You mentioned Lisa a lot. She stuck around them that much?” Mick sounds confused, and Leo knows he’s thinking about the old Lisa, the wild Lisa who rolled into town like a tornado, took what she wanted, and whirled back out.

 

“Oh, she’s dating Cisco.”

 

Mick grunts, and it’s almost a laugh. “You okay with that?”

 

Leo nods. “Cisco’s great. _Really_ ,” he clarifies, at Mick’s dubious look. “He’s a good kid. He’s good for her. Good _to_ her. He loves her, he makes her happy.”

 

“Like haircut, for you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How do the two of you even work?” Mick asks, and it makes a certain kind of sense. Leo doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to relationships. He has a great track record for pushing people away, though.

 

“I, uh. Heh. Mick, I don’t even know. I have no idea what I did to deserve him, because I’ve sure done enough crap in my life to deserve nothing. But, god, it’s like looking at the sun, sometimes.” Leo knows he has a sappy expression on his face, but he can’t bring himself to scowl when talking about Raymond.

 

“Never known you to be this poetic.”

 

Leo snorts.

 

Mick continues, “He treats you right, though?”

 

“Yeah, Mick. Really good. He, uh, doesn’t put up with any of my bullshit, either.”

 

“Good, you’ve got a lot of that.” Mick smirks and Leo mimes throwing a pillow at him.

 

“He is really helping me be better, Mick. A better person. I mean, it didn’t really start with him, to be fair to Barry. It was Barry who really started me on this path, even before I got on the Waverider for the first time. Well, you know, you were there for a lot of that. Then when I woke up in Central City after the Oculus, it was Barry and the rest of Team Flash who kept pushing me to open up. Raymond just…helped make it more real.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“He just…” Leo casts around for the right words, but can’t seem to find them, so he starts babbling. Damn, he’s been with Raymond for too long if he’s babbling. “He just…he sticks his long, slender fingers in and doesn’t let go.”

 

Mick laughs.

 

“I did not mean that to sound dirty, Mick. Get your head out of the gutter.”

 

“Nah. Keep goin’.”

 

“Okay, well, shit. I don’t know how to say this without it sounding dirty.”

 

“Just say it, Snart,” Mick eggs him on, cackling.

 

“ _Fine_. He just sticks his fingers into every aspect of my life and pokes around and please stop laughing at me and let me finish this idiotic sentence, you fucking asshole.”

 

Mick gestures for Leo to continue, but doesn’t stop laughing.

 

Leo shakes his head, but barrels through. “He, ugh, pries me open and just…gets at the meat of what’s bothering me, or why I’m having an issue with something that’s going on.”

 

Mick is still laughing and Leo glares at him until he stops.

 

“Sorry, boss, but the first part of that sounded really fucking filthy. I’m not gonna be able to look at his fingers the same way again.”

 

“It was a _metaphor_ , you absolute dick.” Leo grins at Mick anyway. “Anyway, he just seems like his head is up in the clouds all the time, but then he asks a really pointed question and it’s like a fucking dagger. He’s got me, I don’t know, talking about feelings and shit.”

 

“And how _do_ you feel?” Mick asks, and it’s more tactful than Leo would’ve expected from the man.

 

“Lighter,” Leo answers after a minute. “Like I can breathe. Like the weight in my chest that’s been there my whole life is gone, or at least lessened a whole hell of a lot.”

 

Mick shrugs. “I guess I can’t be too mad at him, then. You do deserve that, Leonard.”

 

“Thank you, my old friend.” Leo smiles at him.

 

There’s a knock at the door. “Can I come back in?” Raymond asks, through the closed metal. “I forgot a sweater and I’m _cold_.”

 

Leo looks at Mick, who snickers but nods.

 

“Yeah, Raymond, come back in.”

 

“Okay, I can just grab a sweater and go…” Raymond says, walking into the room and grabbing one of Leo’s sweaters. He puts down his empty mug of coffee and starts to put the sweater on.

 

“That is _mine_ ,” Leo says.

 

“Not anymore,” Raymond replies, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend.

 

Mick shakes his head. “Ah, you can stay, haircut. I’m gonna go grab some food before it all gets eaten.”

 

Raymond grins at Mick, and Leo knows that Raymond is unable to stay mad at anyone for more than two seconds. Leo loves that about his boyfriend.

 

Mick starts to shuffle out, but Leo stops him. “Are we good?”

 

“Yeah, Snart. We’re good.” He looks over at Raymond. “Us too, haircut.”

 

“Oh?” Raymond replies. “Uh, great?”

 

Mick nods at them and walks out, leaving the door open behind him.

 

“What was that all about?” Raymond asks, grabbing a comb from his bag and fighting his hair into its usual style.

 

“He was mad at me for not telling him I was alive. For good reason.”

 

Raymond puts the comb down. “But you also had good reason for not telling him you were.” He puts his hands on Leo’s shoulders, drawing him forward into a hug.

 

“Yeah,” Leo replies, muffled against Raymond’s shoulder.

 

“How do you feel?” Raymond asks, his voice full of concern.

 

“My head hurts,” Leo says, figuring the physical aspects are the easiest place to start.

 

“Mmm.” Raymond presses a light kiss to his temple. “Still nauseous?”

 

Leo analyzes the gnawing in his stomach. He’s not a hundred percent sure it’s not hunger, but it feels more like nausea today, especially with the events of last night. “Yeah, a bit.”

 

“Anything I can do to help?”

 

Leo looks up into his eyes and thinks about what he told Mick; about how Raymond makes him happy, makes him want to be better. He leans up the short distance and presses a kiss to Raymond’s lips, soft and sweet.

 

Raymond starts to deepen the kiss, but he’s interrupted by someone clearing their throat from the doorway. Leo and Raymond break apart, but they don’t step back from each other. They’re used to getting interrupted by this point in their relationship, and they’re secure enough in it that they’re not embarrassed at getting caught being affectionate.

 

Nate is in the doorway, looking more unhappy than Leo thinks the situation warrants.

 

“You guys know your door is open, right?” Nate asks, grumpily.

 

“Oh, hey, Nate!” Raymond says, with a bit too much cheer for Leo’s headache. “Sorry about that! Mick didn’t close it when he left!”

 

Leo looks back and forth between Nate and Raymond, and decides to poke at a few of the new guy’s buttons. “ _I’m_ not sorry. That was pretty tame, kid. You are _all_ going to have to get used to us kissing, because it’s not gonna stop any time soon.”

 

Nate flushes, and Leo doesn’t think it’s a blush. He thinks it’s anger. Interesting. He thinks Nate might have a crush on Raymond.

 

“Nate, right?” Leo breaks away from Raymond and stalks over to the door, leaning against the doorframe. Raymond follows close behind him, confused.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Nate takes an involuntary step back, and Leo grins at him, cruelly.

 

“What’s your place on the team, _Nate_?” Leo asks, emphasizing the name.

 

Nate looks nervous. “I, uh, I’m a historian—”

 

“So you’re the research guy,” Leo cuts in, and feels vindicated when Nate droops.

 

“No, well, see, I also turn to steel—”

 

“Oh, do you, now?” Leo is smirking, but Raymond cuts into his field of vision and he does not look happy.

 

“Leo,” he hisses, “be nice.”

 

“I am being nice,” Leo lies.

 

Raymond grips his shoulder. “That is not your nice voice, that is your condescending voice. Stop. It.”

 

Leo looks up at Raymond petulantly, but relents. “Fine.” He turns back to Nate. “I find the fact that you turn to steel _very_ interesting.”

 

“Not better.” Raymond sounds pretty pissed. He gives Leo a pointed look, before turning to Nate. “Sorry.”

 

“Uh, it’s okay, dude.” Nate is looking back and forth between the two of them like he wishes he was anywhere else.

 

 “Was there something you needed, Nate?” Raymond asks, with a forced brightness.

 

“No. Uh, yeah, actually: breakfast. Food. We usually eat together, I came to see if you guys wanted to join us.”

 

“Sure, let’s go.” Leo moves to follow him but Raymond stops him with a hand on his chest.

 

“In a minute,” Raymond says. “We’ll follow in a minute, Nate. Thanks.”

 

“Okay, uh, cool. See you there.” Nate rushes off down the hallway, and Leo glares at his retreating back.

 

“Leo, what the fuck was that?” Raymond asks, voice full of fire.

 

“That kid’s got a crush on you,” Leo responds quietly.

 

Raymond throws his hands up and stalks back into their room, pacing. “That _kid_ is my age, by the way, and what the _hell_ are you talking about?!”

 

Leo turns in the doorway, facing into the room. He watches Raymond pace and fidget to steam off his excess energy and stress. Leo hates being the cause of Raymond’s stress, but his possessive self took over, and he hadn’t really wanted to stop it.

 

“He’s positively _reeking_ of jealously,” Leo replies, instead of saying anything apologetic or useful.

 

“Nate?! No, Nate and I are _friends_!”

 

“Oh, that part I don’t doubt,” Leo says, stepping into the room and into Raymond’s path. “You could make friends with a brick wall.”

 

Raymond stops, partially at his words, partially because Leo is in his way. “I…thank you? I think?”

 

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you to bend him over a table and—”

 

“Leo!” Raymond shouts, throwing his hands up again and running them angrily through his own hair, slightly messing up the style he’d just managed to force into it.

 

Leo shrugs, aiming for nonchalance.

 

“Leo,” Ray continues, softer. “Even if Nate has feelings for me, it doesn’t change anything. Okay? You don’t have to be jealous. I left the team behind, which does actually include Nate, to be with you. He’s my friend, but I’m in love with _you_. Look, I understand you have trust issues, I _get that_. But I have no interest in being with him.”

 

Leo sighs. “I’m not worried about the _you_ side of it, Raymond.”

 

“No?” Raymond looks unconvinced.

 

“Mostly not.”

 

“Leo—”

 

“I know, Raymond. Intellectually, I know. It’s just…” Leo trails off, unsure of where he’s going.

 

“You get worried,” Raymond finishes. Leo nods. “You don’t have to worry about this, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Leo still isn’t sold, but he trusts Raymond.

 

“Are you okay?” Raymond asks, and Leo nods again. “Breakfast?”

 

“Yeah, I should try to eat something,” Leo says.

 

Raymond smiles at him. It’s not his usual shining smile, but it’s there. Leo takes comfort in that. He takes even more comfort in the quick kiss Raymond presses to his lips before leading him out the door and in the direction of food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Dubious for, as always, being the best beta 5ever


	3. Breakfast Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the team is already seated around the large, round table eating breakfast when Leo and Raymond walk into the dining room. Raymond pushes Leo down into the empty seat next to Jax, who grins at the two of them.

The rest of the team is already seated around the large, round table eating breakfast when Leo and Raymond walk into the dining room. Raymond pushes Leo down into the empty seat next to Jax, who grins at the two of them.

 

“What do you want to eat?” Raymond asks Leo after they exchange greetings with the rest of the team.

 

“Soup?” Leo isn’t really sure that’s what he wants, but his throat feels a bit scratchy after throwing up the night before, and soup is simple enough that he thinks he’d be able to choke enough of it down.

 

“Phở?” Raymond asks, and Leo has to admit that does sound good. He nods and Raymond heads back into the kitchen to see if Gideon can replicate some Vietnamese chicken soup for Leo’s sore throat.

 

“How’re ya feelin’, Snart?” Hex asks from across the table.

 

“A bit better, thanks. Good to see you, Hex.” He reaches out a hand across Jax and Rip. Hex shakes it firmly.

 

“Kinda saw you in the med bay, but you were pretty out of it.”

 

“Ah, yeah, I was in a lot of pain. I had no idea you were still in there when Raymond dragged me in,” Leo replies, as Raymond comes back with coffees for the both of them and then heads back into the kitchen.

 

“Mick helped,” Jax pipes up and Leo grins at Mick, who simply nods back.

 

Raymond returns with a tray of food, which includes a steaming bowl of soup for Leo. He puts the tray down on the table and sits in between Leo and Sara, giving Leo a quick kiss on the lips. There’s a general murmur around the table that sounds a bit like disgust at the kiss, and Leo glares at everyone.

 

Raymond just laughs. “Guys, Leo and I are _dating_. We’ve been together for like five months, and living with each other for the last two. This isn’t going to stop any time soon.”

 

“Feelings are gross,” Sara mutters into her eggs, which earns her a whack on the arm from Amaya, sitting on her right.

 

Leo continues glaring, but stops as he lands on Hex. Hex’s eyes are dancing, and he looks like he’s about to cause some mischief.

 

He does not disappoint.

 

“See, Rip, they ain’t shy about it,” Hex says, schooling his face into what Leo thinks is an attempt at a fake pout.

 

“Jonah,” Rip replies quietly, “not here.”

 

“Why the hell not? You ashamed o’ me?” Hex’s words sound angry but his eyes are full of laughter. Leo is impressed. He knew he liked Hex for a reason.

 

“Oh my god, _Jonah_ ,” is the only reply Rip gives.

 

Jax joins in the fun by poking his fork, and the piece of pancake speared on it, in Rip’s direction. “We all already know, Rip.”

 

Rip makes a strangled noise, his face turning bright red.

 

Leo decides to help Hex make Rip’s life a little more hellish. “So, you two are dating again, huh?”

 

Rip makes another strangled noise. “Again?! Jonah, why did you tell him?!”

 

“I didn’t tell ‘im,” Hex replies, winking at Leo.

 

“Yeah, he didn’t have to, Rip,” Leo adds. “The way you two were looking at each other back in Salvation was all I needed. It was obvious to anyone with _eyes_.”

 

Raymond leans his shoulder against Leo’s. “It was not obvious to me,” he says quietly.

 

“You’re oblivious, Raymond, we’ve discussed this,” Leo replies, but kisses Raymond quickly to soften his moderately harsh words.

 

“There were definitely some lingering glances,” Jax pipes in. “Along with that whole _coat thing_.”

 

Leo points at Jax with an agreeing nod. “See? Obvious. Plus, all that shit you were spouting about leaving that ‘era,’ having to ‘pry yourself away,’ along with your lack of formality toward him. That was pretty gay, Rip.”

 

Rip glares at him, embarrassment seemingly forgotten in his need to correct Leo. “I am bisexual, thank you very much, Mr. Snart.”

 

“Didn’t say you weren’t,” Leo replies, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “I’m just saying that those were pretty gay moments, and you are not as subtle as you think you are.”

 

“ _I_ am, accordin’ to Rip, gay,” Jonah says, smirking. “’m also Rip’s _lover_.”

 

“I _hate_ you,” Rip says, hiding his face in his hands.

 

“Rip, we really did all already know,” Sara says, echoing Jax’s words.

 

Rip peeks up through his fingers. “I just like to keep my personal life private,” he says pitifully.

 

Stein clears his throat awkwardly. “We’re on a small ship with moderately thin walls, Mr. Hunter. Your personal life is already very much _not_ ,” he says, delicately.

 

“Oh my god,” Rip says again, this time burying his face in Hex’s shoulder. Hex wraps an arm around Rip and grins at everyone.

 

“So,” Leo says, leaning forward with a smirk, “anyone else get together since we’ve been gone?”

 

Jax and Nate immediately point at Sara and Amaya. Sara just rolls her eyes and Amaya crosses her arms.

 

“Okay, sure,” Sara says, “if you want to know, yes. But we are _professionals_ , and we actually keep our working relationship _professional_.”

 

Mick, sitting on the other side of Amaya, lets out a loud snort.

 

“What?!” Amaya asks, rounding on him.

 

“Nothin’. Just funny that you girls think makin’ gooey eyes at each other is professional,” Mick responds through a bite of waffle.

 

“What _I_ would really like to know,” Sara says, ignoring Mick and turning to Leo and Raymond, “is how Ray knew you were alive and where to find you, Leonard.”

 

Leo opens his mouth to start the story all over again, but he glances over at Raymond and notices that his boyfriend is blushing, and not in a fun way. “Raymond?”

 

“Hmm?” Raymond asks, not quite meeting his eyes.

 

“Is this okay? Can I tell them the whole story?” Leo asks him, as though the entire team is not staring at them, hanging on every word.

 

Raymond nods. “Uh, yeah, love. They’re gonna think it’s a whole lot worse than it is if you don’t.” Leo looks at him closely, worried that Raymond doesn’t want the team to know. Raymond seems to come to a decision and looks into Leo’s eyes, nodding. “Tell the story, Leo.”

 

So Leo explains it all. Again. He starts with the dreams, glossing over the specifics of those dreams, then moving into his first astral projection disaster, to Raymond ignoring his wishes and showing up in Central City.

 

“What’s so bad about that?” Jax asks, confused. “You just, like, saw each other in dreams and then you showed up on the Waverider and he found out you were real? Why would Ray be embarrassed about telling us that?”

 

Leo looks at Raymond, who nods again. “They were sex dreams, kid,” Leo replies.

 

“Oh,” Jax says, awkwardly. “Sorry I asked.”

 

Raymond takes over the rest of the story while Leo slowly eats his soup. He tells the team about the beginning of their relationship, about seeing each other in the diner. Then he explains about the Time Masters, who scared the hell out of both of them, but ended up being the reason they were able to physically be together. Raymond finishes by talking about the various superhero things the two of them did in Central City, and about Leo’s new suit.

 

“Shit, Snart, you let Ramon make you a suit?” Mick asks, laughing. “You didn’t tell me _that_ part!”

 

Leo shrugs. “You’ll see it soon enough. You’re probably gonna laugh, but I like it.”

 

The team pokes and prods at him to talk about the suit until Raymond speaks up: “Okay, guys, I have a picture on my phone, I’ll show you.”

 

He pulls up a photo and passes his phone around. As it passes from Sara to Amaya, to Mick, then to Stein and Nate, Leo watches his teammates dissolve into laughter at his bright blue and white super-suit. It stings a bit, but he knows they’re gonna find it less and less ridiculous as time goes on.

 

After all, that’s what happened with his feelings about the suit.

 

It’s not like they don’t _all_ wear ridiculous costumes to go out in the field. Half of them wear tight leather-like suits, anyway, so he won’t stick out any more than any of them already do.

 

It also helps that Raymond answers everyone with, “I love the suit! You guys will too, soon enough! Come on, stop laughing, you know it looks really good on him.”

 

“I think you’re biased, Ray,” Nate says, somewhat unkindly, passing the phone to Hex.

 

Raymond just shrugs. “I may be biased, but I’m not _wrong_.”

 

Leo smiles into his spoonful of soup.

 

“It’s a good look, Snart,” Hex says, grinning widely. Leo nods his head in acknowledgment. “Hey, Rip,” Hex continues, squeezing Rip’s shoulders with the arm he’s got draped over them, “why ain’t you got a suit like that?”

 

Rip takes the phone gingerly, looking between the photo and Leo in disbelief. “I’m not going to grace that with an answer, Jonah.”

 

“Eh, it was worth a try,” Hex replies, shrugging and unabashedly pressing a kiss into Rip’s hair. Rip splutters as he pushes the phones into Jax’s hands and Hex studiously ignores him.

 

Leo thinks he and Hex are gonna get along great.

 

Conversation around the table then turns to mission specifics and Leo feels himself flagging. He and Raymond don’t have a part in this mission, anyway, so he focuses on breathing through the fresh wave of nausea rolling through him. He’s so wrapped up in it, that he doesn’t notice anyone leaving the table until Hex puts a glass down in front of him.

 

“Rip told me to get you ginger ale, ‘cause I was gettin’ up anyway,” Hex mutters, by way of explanation, walking past to go sit back down next to Rip, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand.

 

Leo nods at the both of them in thanks, and sees that Raymond is beaming at Hex in a way that makes his heart skip a beat. He takes a sip of the ginger ale, basking in his boyfriend’s radiant grin. Raymond turns to him, and his smile dims a few watts in concern.

 

“You doing okay, love?” he asks.

 

Leo shakes his head but tries to smile at Raymond anyway. Raymond wraps an arm around Leo’s shoulders, holding him close. Leo leans into the embrace, willing his nausea to subside. The timelines have calmed down a bit, especially with his glasses firmly on his face, but the aftershocks of the giant wave are still hitting him hard. The ginger ale helps, marginally.

 

The glare he’s receiving from Nate helps even more.

 

“Are you feeling all right, Mr. Snart?” Stein asks from across the table, during a break in planning. “You look a bit green.”

 

“Just nausea. It’ll subside eventually,” Leo replies, hoping his words are accurate.

 

“Why don’t you talk to Gideon, she might be able to prescribe an anti-nausea medication,” Stein suggests.

 

Leo shakes his head. “Tried that, back in Central City. Nothing made a dent.”

 

“We think it’s because it’s not caused by normal, earthly means,” Raymond cuts in. “So, like, we’d need something equally otherworldly to counteract the nausea, otherwise it just bounces right off. Some things help marginally, like the ginger ale, but it might just be a placebo effect, because medication has done nothing so far.”

 

“Fascinating,” Stein replies, and Leo rolls his eyes.

 

“Yes, such a joy, glad my constant illness is so _fascinating_ for you,” Leo bites back, a bit angrier than he’d meant to.

 

“Leo—” Raymond starts quietly, but Leo _hurts_ and he might throw up again and he’s _cranky_.

 

“I would really appreciate, _professor_ , if you could only comment on my symptoms if you have something interesting or helpful to say. My nausea is not fascinating. Neither are the constant headaches or the fact that I now have to wear glasses infused with whatever technology Cisco Ramon shoved into them, and that I keep forgetting them in various places which, of course, makes my headaches worse.” Leo has to stop and take deep breaths so he doesn’t actually vomit at breakfast. He’d really rather not start his time back on the Waverider by ruining everyone else’s breakfast.

 

There’s an awkward silence where Leo feels the heat of Jax’s glare at Stein, and the professor flounders for a few seconds before stammering out an apology. “My apologies, Mr. Snart. I had no idea the side effects of your powers were so vast, or such an impediment to your life,” Stein replies.

 

Leo nods, sipping again at his ginger ale and digging his fingers into Raymond’s thigh to help him focus on keeping the contents of his stomach in his stomach. Raymond winces but lets him do it. Leo will have to make it up to him later.

 

“Yeah, well, that goes for all of you. I may be able to do cool things, and the Oculus may have brought me back to life, but my powers are not _fun_ and I do not want to hear about how interesting or fascinating they are. I’m also not—” Leo has to pause to put his hand over his mouth. Fuck.

 

“Leo?” Raymond asks, concerned. Leo shakes his head, waving him off. Raymond lowers the pitch of his voice, so only Leo can hear. “Calm down, love. I think you’re getting worked up and making your nausea worse.”

 

Leo focuses on taking deep breaths through his nose and forcing the nausea down, down, down.

 

“Want me to tell them the psychic thing?” Raymond asks and Leo nods, almost imperceptibly, trusting Raymond to catch it. Raymond raises his voice to address the rest of the team. Leo looks down, hand still over his mouth.

 

“I think what Leo is trying to say is that he is not a fortune teller. Please do not ask him to tell your future. His powers don’t work like that. We have free will, so looking at futures always hurts a lot more than looking at the past or the present, and the projected futures are usually wrong, if he can even hold onto one long enough to follow it to the end.”

 

“Sorry, hold on to one?” Rip asks.

 

Raymond nods. “The timelines that Leo can see are tangible.” He detaches Leo’s right hand from his thigh and shows off one of the rings Leo is wearing. “His sister made this for him: he can wrap timelines around it and use it to hold them in place for a bit while he pokes at them. They’re like, uh, a focus?” Point made, Raymond threads his fingers through Leo’s, and Leo clutches onto his hand like a lifeline.

 

Leo takes a deep, shuddering breath, finally pulling his other hand away from his mouth. He probably isn’t going to throw up at this point. He digs the fingers of his free hand into his cheek, willing the still-present bile to subside.

 

“Also, feel free to ask me questions about Leo’s powers if you’re curious. He doesn’t really like talking about them at length, but he says that I can talk about them with trusted people, and I’m assuming you all count as that.” Raymond looks at Leo, who nods. He can trust the team to know about his powers, even Nate. Raymond trusts the man, and that’s good enough for Leo. In terms of this, at least.

 

Luckily, the soup and the ginger ale combined seem to be working; Leo’s nausea is finally actually almost gone, and he takes a deep breath.

 

“Thanks, Raymond,” he says quietly. He looks around the table at the team. “My powers are, well, powerful.” Leo reaches inside, pokes at the Oculus, and lets the light seep out through his eyes, just for a second. The impact is muted a bit by his glasses, but Mick swears quietly, Hex crosses himself, and Jax’s eyes get wide, so he calls it a win. Sara just shakes her head, used to his dramatic flair. Raymond presses a light kiss to his cheek, and Leo squeezes his hand in return.

 

“They are also hellish, painful, and cause a lot of problems. I can save lives with them, but I’ll still carry my cold gun in the field because it’s dangerous for me to rely too much on them. I…” Leo’s eyes focus on Rip. “I worry about who I would become if I had no compunctions about using my powers to their full extent.”

 

“Well then, we are very glad you have found morality, Mr. Snart,” Rip replies, his words dripping with sarcasm. It’s annoying, but Leo lets it slide.

 

Well, kind of. “Just be glad I have no plans to remove you from the timeline any time soon, Rip.” Leo is thrilled at Rip’s horrified expression, although his good humor lessens with Hex’s glare. He wants to stay on Hex’s good side, so he stops needling at Rip.

 

“Okay, can we please get back to the mission?” Sara asks, with the tone of voice of someone who is used to herding cats, but is tired of it anyway. Now that the nausea has finally waned, Leo is actually able to pay attention to the mission parameters, or what is left of them at this point of the planning stages.

 

Mostly he just hears that Hex is relegated to the library, which Leo resolves to check out at some point, and that he and Raymond are still not part of the plan, which is definitely for the best.

 

“Okay, team,” Sara finishes, “now that you all have your assignments, be ready to head out in half an hour!” She stands and heads out, Amaya following close behind her.

 

“Leo,” Raymond says quietly, “now that you’re feeling better, can you please apologize to Nate before he leaves for the mission?”

 

Leo raises an eyebrow at him.

 

Raymond sighs. “Look, love, you’re my boyfriend and he’s my good friend. I _want_ you two to get along. You don’t need to like him right now, I’d just like you to give him a chance.”

 

“Do I have to?” Leo asks. He knows he’s being childish, but he still feels like shit and he’d really rather not.

 

“You do if you don’t want to sleep on the couch I hear the library has…”

 

“You’re evil,” Leo says, giving Raymond a glare without any heat behind it.

 

“I learned it from you, my love,” Raymond replies, grinning at him.

 

“Fine.” Leo stands up and walks over, stopping Nate on his way out of the dining room with his dishes. “Nate.”

 

Nate looks at him, confused. “Yeah? What, uh, what’s up?”

 

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier,” Leo forces out, trying to make it sound sincere.

 

“Ray is making you do this, isn’t he?” Nate asks, seeing right through Leo’s facade.

 

Leo decides that the only way he and Nate can possibly do what Raymond wants and be anywhere close to friends, is through honestly. “Oh, _absolutely_ ,” he answers. “But he wants us to get along and, well, I only want to make him happy.”

 

“That’s nice of you,” Nate says.

 

“He’s my boyfriend. I’d like him to continue being my boyfriend.”

 

Nate looks back and forth between Leo and Raymond, who is engaged in a lively conversation with Hex and Jax. “You seem like kind of a weird pair.”

 

Leo shrugs. “You know what they say…”

 

“Opposites attract?”

 

“I was gonna go with ‘great minds think alike,’ but sure.”

 

“You’re kind of a dick,” Nate says.

 

“Yes I am, thanks for noticing,” Leo replies. They look at each other and laugh. Leo thinks that maybe this won’t be so bad after all. That is, until he sees that Nate is looking at Raymond with a glance that’s a bit _too_ longing for Leo’s liking. Baby steps, Leo reminds himself, catching Raymond’s eye and seeing him grin.

 

“Okay, well, I’m gonna…uh, go get ready for the mission. Good talk?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Leo replies, only half paying attention. Nate wanders off, shaking his head, and Leo walks back over to the table.

 

Most of the team has scattered at this point, so it’s just Hex left to be talked at by Raymond, since he doesn’t have a mission to get ready for.

 

“Hey, Snart, glad yer back, I’ve got no clue what yer boyfriend here is sayin’,” Hex says with a mischievous smirk.

 

Raymond splutters out an apology and Leo and Hex laugh.

 

“Ah, ‘m just messin’ with you, Palmer,” Hex says and Raymond pretends to pout. “Alright, gotta go set up shop in the library. I’m runnin’ point from the ship. And thanks, Snart, for earlier. With Rip, I mean.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Leo replies. “You looked like you needed help getting Rip to admit that you two are dating, and I _do_ like pushing Rip’s buttons.”

 

Hex winks. “Good.” He walks off, headed to the library.

 

Leo looks at Raymond. “So. We’ve got the day?”

 

“We do,” Raymond replies, kissing Leo softly. “Want to go unpack?”

 

“If by unpack,” Leo says, pulling Raymond up from the chair and out into the hallway, “you mean ‘have sex and then unpack,’ then yes.”

 

“Hmm, I think I did mean that, yeah,” Raymond responds, smiling widely and letting Leo pull him back to their room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to the fantastical Dubious for betaing!
> 
> Please leave me comments I thrive on love and attention! <3


	4. Thin Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo laughs softly. “I do appreciate that you still blush when asking me to do sexual things. Take your pants off.”

Leo loves kissing Raymond. He loves running his fingers through Raymond’s hair and pressing up against him. He loves feeling Raymond’s hands clutch at him like Leo is the only thing tethering him to the world.

 

Raymond is unbelievably sensitive; he shivers at even the idea of a touch, and Leo loves using that against him. He breathes against Raymond’s neck, not quite touching, and grins as Raymond moans quietly. Leo teases a bit more, before pressing his lips gently against Raymond’s skin, kissing across his jaw, down his neck to nip at his collarbone.

 

Raymond starts to breathe heavily, and Leo can feel him getting hard where he’s flush up against Leo’s body. So he goes back to kissing Raymond, his tongue in Raymond’s mouth, tangling his fingers in Raymond’s hair, grinding his hips forward, walking them slowly backwards in the direction of the bed. Then, with Raymond pressed between him and the bed, Leo starts prying his boyfriend out of his clothes.

 

“Wait, Leo,” Raymond says, panting.

 

“Hmm?” Leo mutters, kissing a line down Raymond’s bare chest.

 

“You’re—oh—still not feeling well, let’s take it easy, okay?”

 

Leo pulls back, looking at his boyfriend thoughtfully. “Well, what do you suggest, Raymond?”

 

“I could, uh,” Raymond blushes, “sit on your cock?”

 

Leo laughs softly. “I do appreciate that you still blush when asking me to do sexual things. Take your pants off.”

 

“Is that a yes?” Raymond asks, taking his pants off. Leo follows suit.

 

“Yeah, dumbass, that’s a yes.” Leo climbs into bed, lying on his back and propping himself up on his elbows. Raymond, now completely naked, grabs the lube from the bags they haven’t unpacked yet and walks back over to the bed. “I like this view,” Leo says, and watches Raymond’s blush grow.

 

“Flirt.” Raymond’s retort is kind of pathetic, but it’s cute anyway. Of course Leo is a flirt, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy the sight of his naked boyfriend more than many, many other sights.

 

Raymond climbs on top of Leo, kissing him again. Leo is lost in it, in the sensations. Raymond is a heavy weight on top of him, comforting and sexy at the same time. Leo can’t stop the moans coming out of his mouth as Raymond moves against him. As usual, he’s louder than Raymond, even though Raymond is the one slowly getting worked open by Leo’s fingers.

 

He feels free, with Raymond on top of him; like all his walls come tumbling down, and all that’s left is Raymond, incandescent, shining bright through the dim lights of the room. Leo loses all his filters, all his deflecting sarcasm, all his worries. Everything that comes out of his mouth feels transcendent, in awe of the man who has chosen to share his life with damaged fuck-up Leonard Snart.

 

“Can I—” Raymond asks, breathlessly, cutting himself off by kissing Leo again, like he can’t pry himself away.

 

Leo can relate; he’s barely able to pull back to answer, Raymond’s mouth against his too magnetic. “Oh, fuck, _please_ , darling,” and that’s all Leo has to say before Raymond is sitting up, lowering himself onto Leo’s cock. “ _Fuck,_ Raymond.”

 

Raymond moves slowly, bracing his hands against Leo’s chest, his thumbs rubbing circles on the edges of scars. Leo stares up at him, and he knows he has stars in his eyes.

 

Leo runs his hands up Raymond’s thighs, around his back, and arches up to kiss Raymond, hot and heavy. It’s partially an attempt to stem the noises coming out of his mouth: half-swears and pleas and Raymond’s name, and “love, love, love, oh, fuck.”

 

With Raymond’s tongue in his mouth, Leo half-remembers Stein saying something about thin walls in relation to Rip and Hex, but just as quickly discards the thought as Raymond rolls his hips and Leo falls back down on the bed, swearing loudly, hips bucking up to thrust into his boyfriend.

 

He forgets it until he hears Sara Lance yelling through the door, “Are you two _fucking kidding me_?! You couldn’t wait until we got off the ship to start fucking loudly?! I _hate_ both of you, shut the fuck up!”

 

“Fuck off, Sara!” Leo calls back, at the same time as Raymond yells, “Sorry!” They look at each other and start laughing.

 

“I will murder you, _Leonard_ ,” Sara responds, and Leo is marginally offended that she would only murder him and not Raymond as well. Raymond did apologize, after all.

 

“I’ll make him be quiet,” Raymond promises, and that seems to be enough for Sara, because she doesn’t say anything after that. Raymond presses a hand down over Leo’s mouth and shushes him. Leo laughs against his hand.

 

“You love my noises,” Leo says, muffled against the press of Raymond’s palm.

 

“I do,” Raymond agrees, throwing his head back and moving again, keeping his hand firmly over Leo’s mouth, “but— _fuck_ —the rest of the team doesn’t need to hear them.”

 

Leo pries Raymond’s hand away so he can breathe, and attempts quiet. He mostly succeeds, but he jokingly suggests a gag for next time, anyway. Raymond just tells him to shut up, and Leo tries to comply, focusing on the hard angles of Raymond’s body, and on not raising his voice past a whisper.

 

It’s difficult, especially when he is _so close_ and his boyfriend is so gorgeous—grinning and sweaty and making soft groaning noises in rhythm with his movements—and Leo’s fingers dig into Raymond’s thighs for the second time today as he comes, biting down on his lip to keep from yelling.

 

Raymond slows down to stillness and waits. Leo makes a few more choked off noises, takes a few deep breaths, before grinning up at his boyfriend. Raymond knows that’s his cue, that it’s good for him to move again, and he pulls off, leaning forward to kiss Leo again.

 

Leo, however, has other ideas, and he flips them over. He kisses Raymond, deeply and briefly, before shifting down, wrapping his mouth and a hand around Raymond’s cock. He peers up to see that Raymond has stuffed half his fist in his mouth to keep from making noise and Leo feels a thrill as he works his fingers back inside Raymond as well.

 

“Holy shit, Leo,” Raymond groans, or at least that’s what Leo thinks he says, with his words muffled against the hand in his mouth. Leo would smile, if he didn’t have a dick in his mouth. He settles for humming instead and is rewarded by Raymond bucking up and coming, hard.

 

Leo makes sure Raymond is watching when he swallows, and Raymond’s eyes get even wider. Leo will never get tired of that: will never get tired of the fact that his boyfriend still reacts to things like that with such enthusiasm.

 

He moves back up and lies down half on top of Raymond while they both catch their breath.

 

“Love you,” Raymond mutters, lips pressed against Leo’s head.

 

“Mmm,” Leo responds, “love you, too.”

 

It’s amazing, how easy the words come to him. How natural it feels to let them fall off his lips, to drop out like diamonds against the skin of Raymond’s chest.

 

“I love you,” Leo says again, smiling into Raymond’s shoulder, throwing his leg over Raymond’s body, and settling in. Settling down.

 

“Sap,” Raymond murmurs, resting one hand on Leo’s waist and taking Leo’s hand with the other.

 

“Shh, it’s a secret,” Leo says, through light laughter.

 

“I won’t tell,” Raymond promises, and Leo can hear the smile in his voice. It warms Leo from the inside out, and he lets his eyes slip shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update so soon! Amazing! Don't expect this too often ;)
> 
> Also, please do leave comments <3


	5. Wounds and Anchors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That’s what Leo does, after all. Changes the angles.
> 
> That’s how his mind works; angles and pieces and disparate parts all coming together to create a finished piece. Something gorgeous; something clean and brilliant.

_They’re finally unpacked, and Leo is sprawled on the bed with headphones in, fiddling with a playlist on a tablet he swiped from Raymond. He wants to be prepared for next time, since he’s pretty sure there will be a time when he and Raymond are going to want to have sex while the entire team is on the ship. He’s positive they’d all prefer music blasting from the room, to hearing him moaning. Loudly._

_Leo grins as he selects a particularly sexy song, and looks up to see Raymond hunched over the desk, working on some of his tech, pieces of metal littering the surface._

Ray has one of his gauntlets disassembled on the desk in front of him, and he’s poking at the pieces, but he’s not really focused on that. His mind is wandering, thinking about Leo while he turns a small screw.

_Leo pulls out his headphones. “Raymond, you’re in hyper-focus mode. That position looks painful,” he says, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and putting the tablet down._

“Hmm?” Ray replies, twisting to look at Leo and wincing. “Yeah, ouch.” Pain shoots through the back of his neck.

 

_Leo hops down from the bed and saunters over, giving his boyfriend a quick kiss before digging his thumbs into Raymond’s shoulders._

 

Ray lets out a quiet groan, pushing up into the massage. He loves when Leo is affectionate, caring. His heart swells, and he can’t stop the cheesy grin on his face.

 

 _“Don’t forget the door is open,_ darling _,” Leo reminds him, teasing._

“Shut up and massage between my shoulder blades, please,” Ray murmurs. He lets his mind drift as Leo’s hands press into the sore muscles of his back.

 

_Leo feels Raymond’s muscles release slightly under the light pressure, and he smiles._

 

“Mmm, thanks, love,” Ray murmurs, sitting up and spinning in his chair to face Leo.

 

_Leo grins at his boyfriend and drapes himself over the desk. “Whatcha workin’ on?” he asks, peering down at the pile of mechanical things scattered across the desk._

 

Leo is smart. Smarter than he realizes. Ray knows this, Ray can see it in his eyes.

 

_Raymond starts talking about how he’s modifying the compressed light beams of the ATOM suit, to make them more effective and consume less power._

 

Ray can see it when he rambles on for ages about the ATOM suit, and Leo doesn’t get bored. When he catches Leo watching him make an adjustment to the ATOM suit and all Leo says is, “what if you changed the angle?”

 

_Leo isn’t a hundred percent sure he’s following along, but he can grasp enough of what Raymond is saying to ask a few questions, and put forward a few ideas._

 

That’s what Leo does, after all. Changes the angles.

 

That’s how his mind works; angles and pieces and disparate parts all coming together to create a finished piece. Something gorgeous; something clean and brilliant.

 

_Halfway through one of his suggestions, Leo notices Raymond looking admiringly up at him. “What?” he asks, squirming._

 

“Do you know how brilliant you are?” Ray blurts out, his brain moving too fast to not trip over his words.

 

Leonard Snart is brilliant, and Ray loves him.

 

_“I’m not—”_

“You _do_ know how many PhDs I have, right?” Ray asks, matter-of-fact. He’s not bragging, he just wants Leo to know how serious he is.

 

Leo doesn’t see his own intelligence, Ray knows.

 

_“Uh, no, the number changes every time you tell me so: three? Four?” Leo isn’t sure where his boyfriend is going with this, but he figures he’ll play along._

“Something like that, yeah.”

 

Ray can’t imagine what Leo went through, as a child. He sees the after-effects, though. In a cringe, in a soft put-down, in a brushed-off compliment.

 

Leo doesn’t think he’s worth it.

 

“You do understand that you’re keeping up with me in terms of the technology that I invented, right?” Ray asks.

 

_Leo squirms a bit more. Raymond’s stare is intense and it’s freaking him out a little. “Well, Raymond, I do spend a lot of time listening to you talk about it—”_

“Most people can’t even comprehend this, Leo.”

 

Leo thinks he’s worthless.

 

_Raymond rests a hand on Leo’s knee and Leo swallows. Raymond is rarely this serious._

 

Leo thinks he’s worthless and Ray is filled with rage.

 

_“It’s not a big deal,” Leo says, trying to shrug it off._

 

Ray is filled with love too, of course. He adores Leo, adores the press of Leo’s lips against his, the warmth of Leo’s body against his. He adores the snarky comments, the cheesy puns, the hidden kindness.

 

“Yeah, it is!”

 

_Raymond stands up and reaches over to close the door, apparently for a bit of privacy._

 

Sometimes Ray looks at Leo, sometimes he traces a scar with his lips, with his fingertips, and his whole body feels like it’s on fire.

 

He can’t imagine someone mistreating their own child like this.

 

_Raymond wedges himself between Leo’s legs and leans in, not quite touching any more than that, but he’s close enough that Leo feels the comfort radiating off of him. He looks at Leo for a few seconds, then reaches forward to cup his face._

 

Sometimes Ray just wants to scream. Sometimes he just wants to throttle Lewis Snart, to punch him over and over again with his bare hands: to break his face and his ribs and his soul.

 

Ray wants to break Lewis’ soul into pieces, like he left Leo’s soul.

 

_When Raymond finally speaks, it’s quiet, but harsh._

“Sometimes I think that if you hadn’t killed your father already, I’d do it for you.”

 

_Leo is shocked. “Raymond!” he says, sharply._

 

Ray is slightly abashed, but doesn’t pull back. He needs Leo to know that he’s not going anywhere. But he does apologize.

 

“Sorry, was that crossing a line?”

 

_Leo has to think for a minute._

Ray’s trying, he’s trying to tape Leo back together. He’s trying to piece this wonderful man back together; to help him love himself, to help him think he’s worth something. It’s working.

 

It has to be working.

 

Leo smiles at him in front of other people, so Ray thinks it’s working. But the smiles are fleeting, usually shy, and Ray just _hates_ Lewis.

_“No,” Leo says, coming to a conclusion. “No. It’s just more vicious than I usually expect from you,_ sweetheart _.”_

 

Ray gets momentarily distracted by the new pet name, humming slightly and leaning in to kiss Leo softly. Then he remembers that he was trying to make a point and pulls back.

 

“It’s just, when I think about all the potential—not that I don’t love and adore you for who you are, right now—”

 

_Raymond is rambling, but Leo lets him. He sounds like he wants to get this out, and Leo wants to see where he’s going with it._

“Because I do, I’m so glad I got to meet you and fall in love with you. But, I also think about who you could’ve been, if you’d had the same opportunities as I did.”

 

Ray imagines what Leo could’ve been, late at night when Leo is fast asleep against him. He wonders if Leo really could’ve been an electrical engineer, or if he would’ve been a teacher instead. Maybe he would’ve worked for NASA, or gone into medicine. Maybe he could’ve become a world-famous surgeon with those sure, steady hands of his.

 

“I think about what you could’ve done if you’d been able to go to college or, hell, even just finish high school.”

 

_That stings a bit. “Yeah, well, I didn’t.” Leo knows he’s being a bit short, but he can’t stop the bite in his words._

 

“I know. I _know_ , Leo. Gosh, you’re so brilliant.”

 

_Leo flinches, but slightly enough that he doesn’t think Raymond notices._

 

“Who knows what you could’ve accomplished if you’d just…had the chance.”

 

Maybe Leo would’ve been happy, for more of his life than just the past few months.

 

_Leo’s chest feels tight._

Maybe he would’ve had friends who were not his sister, or Mick Rory, before his mid-40s.

 

_He tries to push Raymond away so he can breathe, while still keeping him close enough to touch. It’s a fine line, Raymond standing at the fringes of his periphery, looking at Leo with a curious expression._

 

Maybe he could’ve found love earlier. Found someone to share his bed for more than a drunken one-night stand.

 

Maybe he could’ve opened up, shared himself with someone. Earlier.

 

_Leo’s hand stays on Raymond’s chest, where he tried to push Raymond away._

 

Ray is jealous of that potential person, but he knows he’d give Leo up if it meant Leo could be happier. If it meant Leo would love himself, instead of just Ray.

 

“I just wish you could’ve had a better life, one where you weren’t…abused.”

 

_It feels like a punch in the gut, and Leo wants to curl in on himself._

 

Leo’s face falls, and Ray feels his heart drop. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

 

_“It’s just hard to hear,” Leo mutters. His hand curls up and clutches at Raymond’s sweater._

 

It makes Ray’s heart ache, thinking of himself without Leo. Of Leo without him. His eyes well up and he has to hide it from Leo. He wouldn’t like Ray to be crying over him, to be crying over what could’ve been.

 

“I can only imagine, love.”

 

_Leo slowly pulls Raymond a tiny bit closer, not able to meet his eyes right now._

 

“Look, you know I think you’re amazing, right now. That I think you’re a hero.”

 

_Leo nods, not trusting his voice._

 

“The unselfish part of me wonders what would happen if I went back in time and got rid of your father. What would happen if I put you and Lisa into a stable home—”

 

_“Raymond. Please stop,” Leo says, and it sounds pitiful to his ears. But he pulls Raymond back in, fully, bringing Raymond in for a hug. He wraps his arms and legs around his boyfriend, clutching at Raymond like a lifeline._

Ray’s never hated anyone quite the same way he hates Lewis Snart. Sometimes he traces his fingernails against a scar on Leo’s body and he just wants to dig his nails into the soft skin of Lewis’ face and watch the blood flow and drip down onto the floor.

_“I can’t think that way,” he whispers into Raymond’s ear. “If I do…”_

“I know,” Ray answers.

 

_“We have a time ship,” Leo says._

“I know,” Ray repeats.

 

_“It’s too much.”_

“Sara would never let us,” Ray reminds him.

 

_“I know, Raymond.” Leo can’t breathe._

 

Ray kisses Leo’s cheek. “I love you.”

 

_“Love you, too,” Leo says, and it hurts as much as it feels like coming home._

 

“I’m sorry.” Ray presses a kiss to Leo’s forehead.

 

_“Don’t be,” Leo replies, pulling back far enough so he can kiss Raymond. It’s soft and gentle, and Leo feels himself falling into it._

Ray kisses Leo harder, pushes against him more insistently, wraps his arms around Leo just a bit tighter; anything to stem the anger, anything to make sure Leo knows just how much Ray loves him.

 

_His head is spinning, but Raymond grounds him, even as he’s uprooting Leo’s entire life._

 

Ray pulls back after a minute, reluctantly. “Sorry, love, I should get back to work.” His body is screaming at him to deepen the kiss, to never stop kissing Leo. But his mind reminds him that he has work to do.

 

“I want to finish this tonight. It should be field-ready by tomorrow, I don’t want to be needed on the mission and have half of my weapons offline.”

 

 _“Oh. Okay.”_ _Leo kisses him again, quickly, for another boost of strength, before jumping down off the desk._

_He pokes the door mechanism, opening the room back up to as much airflow as possible on a ship with entirely re-circulated air. Then he curls back on the bed, trying to force his mind back to the playlist._

_He fails._

_His eyes keep finding Raymond, his mind keeps jumping to possibilities and questions and he can’t find an anchor. Finally he gives up and jumps off the bed again._

_“Raymond,” he says, spinning the chair. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that on me and then go back to work._

 

Ray puts the tool he was using down on the desk behind him, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry,” he says again.

 

_Leo shakes his head. “No. This isn’t an apology situation.” Raymond looks up at him with an expression Leo can’t quite read, so he just barrels forward. “I just…I don’t know what to do with that conversation. I can’t, can’t reconcile it with—I don’t know.” Leo takes a shuddering breath._

 

“What can I do to help?” Ray asks, concerned.

 

He thinks back to the expression on Leo’s face when he first told Ray about killing his father, over video chat. It had been unreadable to Ray, at the time. Now, Ray thinks it was regret he’d seen.

 

_Leo looks into Raymond’s eyes, considering. He feels better, now that he’s closer to his boyfriend again._

Ray thinks Leo still loved his father, even as he pulled the trigger.

 

_“Comfort,” he finally says, quietly. “I…touching you helps, I think.”_

 

Ray nods, and thinks for a second. “I need a flat surface to continue working, so the bed is out for that. This desk is out. We could check to see if the library has a loveseat at a desk. That might work.”

 

_Leo nods and watches Raymond pack up his tech. He tries to not crowd his boyfriend, but he reaches his hand out and puts it on Raymond’s shoulder, just to draw out a little bit of comfort._

_To anchor him, just a bit._

 

Before they leave the room, Ray pulls Leo into a long hug, kissing every part of him he can reach.

 

“I know you said this isn’t an apology situation,” Ray says when he stops, “but I am sorry that I freaked you out like this. I didn’t mean to.”

 

_Leo smiles at Raymond and he knows it’s weak, but it’s something. “I think it’s gonna help me later. It just hurts right now.”_

 

Ray understands how someone can have so much love and hate at the same time.

 

_They walk to the library holding hands as Leo continues, “You’re right. About all of it.”_

 

He thinks he understands, in the moments where he licks at the edge of a scar on Leo’s ribcage and feels love in the vibration of Leo moaning beneath him. He thinks he understands, with the anger in the pit of his stomach at the man who could wound his _child_ like this.

 

_“I…I don’t know who I could’ve been if it hadn’t been for, well, my childhood—”_

“Your father.”

 

He thinks he might understand, with the look of confusion on Leo’s face when Ray genuinely compliments him out of the blue.

 

Ray wants to tell Leo he’s worthy of love, but he knows Leo will just laugh.

 

 _“Yeah._ That. _It’s too late now, for any of it, so I try not to think about it. That includes not thinking about…”_

 

“Your intelligence?” Ray asks.

 

Ray wants to tell Leo he’s wonderful, but he knows Leo will just shake his head, brush him off.

 

 _“I know I’m smart. I can plan a job down to the nuts and bolts and it’s_ perfect _, but I don’t want to know exactly how smart I am.”_

 

God, Leo is brilliant, and Ray is just in awe.

 

_They get to the library, and Leo shuts up because Hex is in there, talking on his comm unit. He waves at Leo and Raymond as he reads information out loud from Gideon’s screens._

 

The library turns out to have exactly what Ray needed—a couch, tucked behind a table at a perfect level. Ray sits down and Leo curls up against him.

 

_Leo and Raymond go back to their respective tasks, Hex providing background noise that Leo can only slightly hear through his headphones. Raymond is warm against his side and Leo sinks into the new information slowly._

_There’s still time, for him. He can still learn and grow and change._

So, what can Ray do except try to mend the broken pieces of the man he loves? What can he do except tell Leo that he’s brilliant, that he’s kind, that he’s worthy, that he’s loved? What can he do except wrap Leo in his arms and kiss every single one of his scars and hope that his love can wash away the pain.

 

_And he has Raymond to help him through it all._

 

He knows it won’t fix Leo. He knows he can’t just kiss away a lifetime of pain. But he hopes it helps.

 

He hopes it makes a difference.

 

_Leo smiles as he drags another song onto the playlist and he shifts, placing his hand on Raymond’s back and moving it in circles. Raymond looks up to grin at him, before going back to his work._

 

And when he sees Leo smile at him, radiant and beautiful, he knows it makes a difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much to Dubious for beta-ing this chapter. It took a lot, and I think it's my most ambitious chapter to date, so I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, please leave comments! Tell me things!


	6. Team Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team bonding in the library is infinitely better than team bonding on the bridge, Leo decides, halfway through his second beer.

Team bonding in the library is infinitely better than team bonding on the bridge, Leo decides, halfway through his second beer. For one thing, Raymond can be pressed up against his side while he catches up with Sara and gets to know Amaya, and Raymond can simultaneously be having an inane conversation with (ugh) Nate.

 

Leo is trying really hard to like Nate, but it’s hard when every third word out of the guy’s mouth is “bro” or “dude” and he laughs slightly too loudly at Raymond’s jokes. He supposes it’s nice that Raymond is happy and getting excited about whatever it is they’re talking about. Raymond’s leg starts bouncing up and down and Leo can hear his voice pitching slightly higher, so Leo can tell that Raymond is enjoying himself.

 

“You really hooked up with the Queen of France?” Leo asks Sara, trying to ignore Raymond’s bouncing leg. He knows that Raymond gets his energy pent up and needs to let it out, but it’s hard to ignore when the offending limb is right up against his own.

 

“Hell yeah!” Sara is very pleased with herself, and Leo smirks.

 

“In the middle of a mission?”

 

Sara rolls her eyes. “Okay, yes, but she seduced me and I’m sticking to that!”

 

“ _Sure_ , Sara, I entirely believe you.”

 

“Jerk,” Sara responds, smacking Leo’s arm.

 

“That was before she met me, of course,” Amaya pipes in.

 

As Leo nods at her, he finally hits the point where Raymond’s leg starts to bother him and he puts his hand gently on Raymond’s thigh. Raymond immediately stills and looks over at him.

 

“Sorry, Leo.”

 

Leo turns away from Sara to kiss Raymond gently. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Raymond looks mollified and goes back to his conversation with Nate. Leo tries to leave his hand where it is, but Raymond takes it instead, threading his fingers through Leo’s and rubbing small circles with his thumb. Unobtrusive movement, with the comfort of touch. Leo likes this release of energy much better than the previous one.

 

When Leo looks back at Sara, she’s looking at him strangely.

 

“What?” he asks.

 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “That was very tender. Not used to seeing that from you.”

 

“Don’t be fooled by how sweet I am to Raymond, I’m still kind of a dick.” He smirks, and then winces as Raymond elbows him lightly in the side. “Why, Raymond?”

 

“Yeah, Ray, why _did_ you elbow him, are you forgetting that he was a jerk to me earlier?” Nate asks, trying to joke about it but failing miserably.

 

“I just don’t like you saying negative things about yourself,” Raymond responds, half at Leo, half into the neck of his beer bottle.

 

Leo headbutts his shoulder gently. “That’s really sappy, oh boyfriend of mine.”

 

“You know me,” Raymond says fondly, before leaning in to kiss Leo soundly. There’s a chorus of groans from the rest of the team and Raymond pulls back. “Can you guys _not_ make those noises when Leo and I kiss, _please_?” he asks.

 

“Won’t promise anything,” Nate mutters. Sara shakes her head and Mick snorts.

 

“It would just be really great if you guys could cut down on the PDA,” Jax says.

 

Hex calls over from the secluded corner he’s tucked into with Rip: “We don’t mind.”

 

“Actually—” Rip starts to say, but Hex puts a hand over his mouth.

 

“Thank you, Hex,” Leo says, still pulling back a bit from Raymond. He mourns the loss, but he’d really rather not hear noises of disgust directed at him kissing his boyfriend. He understands how bad at feelings the team is, since he used to be right there with them. He still is, in many cases.

 

It had just been nice to be around Team Flash, who worked so hard to get Leo together with Raymond, and more or less celebrated them being able to touch. Touching at every chance they got, really. Not that Cisco didn’t ask them multiple times to stop making out in the Cortex, but it was fondly said.

 

Even as a joke, it hurts to have negative sounds thrown at him whenever he kisses Raymond in public spaces. Leo takes another sip of his beer and tries to relax, but he’s on edge now. Raymond immediately goes into a spirited conversation about Jax’s changes to the ship’s engines, so he doesn’t notice Leo retreating.

 

Leo tries to follow the thread of conversations, but Sara is laughing about something with Mick, Nate strikes up a conversation with Amaya, and Rip and Hex seem to have disappeared off to their room. Stein had begged out of bonding hours ago to go to sleep, and Leo doesn’t blame him one bit.

 

Leo sits in the middle of the team, feeling a wall in between him and everyone else. It’s not new, it’s just something that hasn’t been there in a while and he hadn’t realized how much he hated it. He chugs the rest of his beer and gets up to grab a new one.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo sees Raymond gets up and starts to let Jax lead him out of the room. Raymond snags Leo’s arm on his way past. “Hey, love, Jax is gonna go show me what he’s done to the engines since I’ve been gone, you good?”

 

Leo looks up at him, and wants to tell him to stay, but he also doesn’t want to stop Raymond from reconnecting with the team. “Raymond, I’m not a child,” he says instead. “I’ll be fine without you for a bit.”

 

Raymond leans in for a kiss, but Leo doesn’t let it deepen past a light peck. Raymond doesn’t seem to realize anything is wrong, he just strokes Leo’s face briefly, before bounding off to follow Jax.

 

Leo sits back down and flips back and forth listening to various conversations. He tries to mold his face into expressions that say he is interested in what they’re saying, but if he’s truthful with himself, something Raymond is trying to get him to be, he’s got no hold on any discussion.

 

Luckily, people start to fade out pretty quickly after that, and soon it’s just Sara and Leo. Amaya gives Sara a quick kiss on her way out, and Sara gives her a muttered, “join you in a bit,” in return. Then she rearranges her chair so she’s facing Leo.

 

“So.” She makes a point of examining Leo, and he tries not to squirm under her intense stare.

 

“What?”

 

“You wanna talk about it?”

 

Ah. Of course. “The doomsday kiss?” he asks, putting a sardonic twist on his words.

 

Sara smirks. “I was thinking more about you propositioning me before you up and died. Imagining a future with me, and all that. Imagine my surprise when you come back with our resident boy scout attached to your hip.”

 

Leo shrugs, trying to buy himself time to parse through what he’s going to say next. “I knew you were never gonna love me. Not when I said that, of course. But, after. Uh, with the Oculus.”

 

Sara’s smirk falls off her face. “Leonard—”

 

“It’s okay, Sara.” His eyes flick up to her eyes from the spot on the floor they’d been examining. “I’m not your type, I get it.”

 

“I do like you, Leonard. Or, I did. I’m sure I’ll like the _new Leonard_ , too. But, uh, you’re right, you’re not my type.” She cocks her head. “The thing is, I didn’t think I was your type, either.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Leonard, I thought you were _gay_.”

 

Leo lets out a quiet snort. “Mostly. Not entirely. You really aren’t my usual type, though, you got that part right.”

 

“I’ve been thinking a lot, since you died, but also since you got back.” Sara pauses, considering. “The Time Masters screwed with all of us; with our timelines and our lives. Who’s to say they didn’t also screw with our feelings?”

 

Leo’s eyebrows shoot up. “You think I was manipulated by them into having romantic feelings for you?”

 

Sara shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe you, maybe Ray and Kendra.”

 

“Raymond…you think Raymond didn’t really have feelings for Kendra?”

 

“What I’m saying is that Ray looks at you in a way he never looked at Kendra, no matter how much he may have loved her. Plus, he couldn’t take his eyes off you for a while after Russia. He got flustered every time you walked in the room, and especially whenever you teased him.” Sara sips her beer. “I really thought the two of you were gonna start making out on the bridge multiple times but…”

 

“But then he hooked up with Kendra,” Leo finishes for her.

 

“Yeah. Lucky bastard.”

 

Leo snorts. “You had a thing for Kendra?”

 

“You’re damn right I had a thing for Kendra!” Sara says, screwing up her face. “But at least I wasn’t stupid enough to try to date her, knowing she was eventually gonna find another Carter. Nothing can beat a soulmate, apparently.”

 

“ _Apparently_.”

 

Sara sighs. “Are we okay, Leonard?”

 

Leo smiles at her, softly. “We are, Sara. Friends.”

 

Sara nods, taking another sip of her beer. “Okay, now, spill.”

 

“What?” Leo asks, curling up on the couch.

 

“You and Ray! I want _details_ , Leonard. Not that sanitized version you gave the team at breakfast yesterday morning.”

 

“Well, aren’t you nosy?” Leo raises an eyebrow at her. “Why would I tell you anything?”

 

Sara’s smile reminds Leo of the Cheshire Cat. “I can tell you’re _dying_ to talk about him, you big sap. Go on, I won’t stop you.”

 

Leo sighs. “What do you want to know?”

 

“For one thing, you two can’t take your hands off each other. I did _not_ take you for the PDA type. It’s sickeningly sweet, which isn’t something I ever thought I’d see from you.”

 

“Well, that’s what happens when you can’t touch someone for the first three months you date them,” Leo answers.

 

“Three months?” Sara asks, aghast. “You said it was a while before you could be together but I didn’t realize you couldn’t touch at all for that whole time!”

 

Leo nods. “I couldn’t see him in person either, not even from far away. I had to be kept separate from him or I would get pretty bad nosebleeds and pass out. Like that time Raymond told you about, in the diner, when we kissed for the first time, not in our dreams. That was two months after he showed up in Central City.”

 

“So what the fuck were these dreams like if you just up and agreed to date him the second he showed up at your doorstep? Without even being able to _touch him_?”

 

“They were, uh, pretty intense?”

 

Sara smirks. “Intense, huh?”

 

“Not like that,” Leo says, rolling his eyes. “They were actually pretty tame, sexually.”

 

“You? _Tame_?” Sara’s smirk grows even more evil and Leo sighs.

 

“Yes, Sara, me. Tame. But uh, we talked. A lot. Raymond didn’t think it was real, so…”

 

“So it was easier to talk?”

 

Leo chuckles. “It’s like you know me.”

 

“Well,” Sara says, “we are both _notoriously_ bad at feelings.”

 

“True,” Leo replies. “I don’t know, I guess I’d just held a candle for him for so long that his big gesture of showing up on my doorstep, mostly metaphorically, did me in.”

 

“I always knew you were mushy,” Sara says, laughing.

 

Leo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Raymond does bring that out in me, too.”

 

“Along with,” Sara clears her throat, “a lot of loud noises.”

 

Leo feels his face heating up slightly and he’s glad his blushes don’t show. “Maybe…” he says, almost an admission.

 

“So does he, like, have a magic dick or something? What?”

 

Leo chokes on his sip of beer. “Okay, what makes you think _Raymond_ is on top?”

 

Sara laughs. “I didn’t! Not until I heard you yelling his name yesterday.”

 

“Raymond has never been on top in his _life_ , Sara. I mean,” Leo smirks, “I guess technically he was ‘on top’ of me, in that he was sitting on my—”

 

“Okay, thanks, I get it,” Sara cuts him off.

 

“I’m just loud, Sara, I can’t help it,” Leo continues, shrugging. “Although, Raymond is _very_ good in bed.”

 

“He does seem like he would be.”

 

Leo raises an eyebrow at her. “Have you thought about sleeping with Raymond before, Sara?”

 

She laughs. “Only off-hand. He is _gorgeous_.”

 

“He is,” Leo responds, smiling fondly. “And his body is just…”

 

“Amazing? Killer? Sexy?”

 

“All of the above.”

 

“ _Damn_ , Leonard. You really are in love, aren’t you?”

 

“You’ve seen the way I look at him, you tell me.”

 

A smile plays at the edges of Sara’s mouth as she considers him. “I think it’s sweet. Leonard Snart, opening up his heart to a gangly nerd.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’ve already lost my _stone-cold_ reputation, so why hide it?” He leans his head to the side, resting it on the back of the couch, meeting Sara’s eyes. “How about you and Amaya, huh? I told you about Raymond, now it’s your turn to _spill_.”

 

“I, uh, I don’t know,” Sara says, spinning her empty beer bottle in her hands. “We just kinda…fell together. It was really easy, you know?”

 

Leo nods, thinking back to his beginnings with Raymond. It wasn’t drama-free, but falling into Raymond did feel easy. It was all that talking about feelings that was hard.

 

“She’s from the 1940s, did I tell you that?”

 

Leo sits up. “You did _not_ tell me that!”

 

“Yeah, well, a time traveler killed her boyfriend, and she thought it was Mick, so she snuck on the ship to kick his ass.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

Sara grins. “Seriously. So she, uh, signed on. Once she accepted that it wasn’t any of us who killed Rex, that is.”

 

Leo snorts. “His name was Rex? Really?”

 

“Really,” Sara replies. “Anyway, she fits in surprisingly well, given that she’s from the forties. And, well, I may have been drinking with her in my room one night and I _may_ have kissed her and she _may_ have kissed me back. So, yeah, I guess we’re a thing now. It’s good.”

 

“I like her,” Leo says, and Sara smiles at him. “She seems very grounded.”

 

Sara nods. “She is. She’s…steady. It’s nice. Calming, even. With all this,” she gestures around at the ship, “craziness of being captain, it’s nice to have someone steadfast at my side.”

 

“I can understand that. Not that Raymond is calming, he’s a bundle of energy at the best times. But, uh…” Leo pauses, considering, his train of thought derailed slightly. “Sara, can I ask you something?”

 

“Sure, Leonard.”

 

“Can you, um,” he takes a deep breath, “try to be less disparaging of me and Raymond? When, you know—”

 

“When you make out in front of the whole team? With _tongue_?”

 

Leo sighs. “Yeah, that.”

 

Sara is quiet for a minute. “You know I don’t actually think it’s gross, right?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Can I tell you now that I don’t mean it, and keep doing it? I gotta keep up my reputation here, you know.”

 

Leo shakes his head. “It’s not just you, Sara, but you seem to egg everyone else on. We just didn’t get to touch for so long that we’re making up for lost time. I _need_ to be close to him, I need to…”

 

“Kiss him passionately every chance you get?”

 

Leo snorts. “Pretty much, yeah.”

 

“I guess I can call a moratorium on it for a bit, if that would be okay?”

 

Leo nods. “I think so. It’s just, you get it, right? It stings just a bit more than if it…wasn’t gay.”

 

“Oh. Right.”

 

“Yeah. I know the team isn’t homophobic. I _know_ that. But, it’s a whole lifetime of conditioning. I shy away from it, and I don’t want to, here. I want to,” Leo takes a deep breath, his eyes resting on his empty beer bottle, “I want to feel at home here. I can’t feel at home if the team thinks it’s gross whenever Raymond and I are affectionate.”

 

Sara leans forward and puts a hand on his leg. “I’m sorry, Leonard. I’ll talk to everyone about it. And yeah, I get it.”

 

Leo smiles weakly at her. “Thanks.”

 

Of course, Raymond picks that moment to walk back in. He takes in the sight of Sara’s hand on Leo’s knee, and instead of reacting like Leo expects, he grins. “Good to see you two reconnecting,” he says, as he walks further into the library. He leans past Sara to press a light kiss against Leo’s lips.

 

Leo can hear Sara suppressing a noise, and he glares at her. “Sorry,” she says, “habit. I’ll stop.”

 

Raymond tilts his head, and Leo shakes his. “I’ll explain later,” he says, to Raymond’s questioning look.

 

Raymond nods, looking fondly into Leo’s eyes. Leo can’t pull his own eyes away, even as he hears Sara clear her throat.

 

“O _kay_ , you two are eye-fucking so I’m gonna leave before you start actually fucking. _Please_ do not have sex in the library—you two have a room. Use it, for all of our sakes.” Sara claps Leo on the shoulder and gives Raymond a pat on the head, leaning up on her toes to reach, before slipping out of the library.

 

Raymond holds his hands out, and Leo takes them, letting Raymond pull him up off the couch and into a hug.

 

“How were the engines?” Leo asks.

 

Raymond nuzzles his neck. “Mmm, very exciting. You would’ve been bored. How was bonding with Sara?”

 

Leo pulls away, dragging Raymond by his belt loop out of the library and towards their room. “It was great. We can talk about it later. Sex now.”

 

Raymond laughs the whole way to their room, arm wrapped around Leo’s waist, hand slipped under the hem of Leo’s shirt to rest lightly on the skin of his waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot more coming, guys. Hold on to your hats, some angst is comin' real soon.


	7. Big Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I need to institute a signal or something so people stop knocking when we’re in the middle of sex,” Leo mutters, stilling his motions.

Ray lets Leo pull him back to their room, and he’s glad to see that Leo has perked up from earlier. Leo had looked a little lost when Ray left to go check out what Jax had done to the engines.

 

If Ray is honest with himself, he’d felt a little lurch when he had walked into the library to see Sara with her hand on Leo’s leg. The gesture had triggered his possessive side, and he’s glad he’d managed to hide it from his boyfriend. Ray needs Leo to know that he is one hundred percent secure in this relationship. Leo needs Ray to be his rock.

 

So Ray hid his insecurity with a smile, and his fears were quickly enough assuaged anyway, with the look in Leo’s eyes that he saved just for Ray.

 

It’s easy enough to lose himself in Leo back in their room; steady, firm hands pulling off Ray’s clothes, warm mouth pressed against his own. He responds eagerly when Leo pushes him down onto the bed and straddles him, throwing pillows out of the way so Ray can sit up, back braced against the wall.

 

Ray makes a small, contented noise, running his hands up and down the warm, scarred skin of Leo’s back. Leo’s hand is fisted around both of them, and Ray gazes up at his boyfriend and rocks his hips as much as he can with Leo heavy on top of him. He’s shifting his focus between the feeling of Leo’s hand around him and the way Leo looks with his head thrown back, mouth slightly open, eyes half-closed, when there’s a knocking at the door.

 

“I need to institute a signal or something so people stop knocking when we’re in the middle of sex,” Leo mutters, stilling his motions.

 

Ray laughs, before calling out to whoever is knocking: “Who is it?”

 

“Hey, uh, it’s me.” It’s Nate, and Ray feels Leo freeze on top of him. Nate keeps going, oblivious, “I had some questions about the Steel suit, wanted to get your advice on a few things. Can I come in?”

 

“No!” Ray and Leo say together.

 

Nate is silent for a second, undoubtedly processing the two voices. “Uh, sorry, guys. Thought Snart was still drinking with Sara in the library…”

 

“Nope, he is most definitely here,” Ray answers, and Leo shifts. “I can help you tomorrow?” Ray continues, unsure.

 

“Oh, uh, okay. That’s probably fine.”

 

“Wait,” Leo calls to Nate, a calculating look in his eyes.

 

“Um, sure,” Nate says through the door.

 

Leo looks down at Ray, considering. “You don’t have to _not_ do something with him because I don’t like him. I don’t… _own_ _you_ , Raymond. I’m just gonna go to sleep after we finish. If I know you, I know you’ll be up for a bit longer reading or working anyway. You should go. After you come, of course,” Leo finishes with a slight smirk, and Ray feels his heart flutter.

 

“Yeah?” Ray asks quietly. “Are you sure? I won’t go if you—”

 

“Tell him you’ll meet him there in a bit, Raymond.”

 

Ray kisses Leo quickly, and then calls through the door: “Change in plans, Nate! We’re going to, uh, finish up here, and then I’ll meet you in the lab to go over suit things.”

 

“Oh, cool. Thanks, man!” Nate responds, and apparently retreats.

 

Leo barely lets the silence settle for a second before moving his hand again, keeping his motions slow and controlled. Ray is only happy to relinquish control; he knows that Leo craves it, that he needs to be in charge. Ray could list a dozen reasons for that, based on various facts he’s gleaned about Leo’s past, but right now he’d rather focus on other things. Things like Leo’s tongue in his mouth, Leo’s thighs bracketing his own, Leo’s hand around his cock.

 

Things like the noises Leo makes when he comes, spilling over Ray’s chest, biting down on Ray’s collarbone to keep those noises from waking the entire ship. Ray follows close behind, his fingertips pressed into the tight muscles of Leo’s back, pushing against scars and smooth skin.

 

Ray then lets himself sink into the kiss Leo presses against his lips, lets his heart rate slow and even out. When Leo pulls away, Ray whines a bit at the loss and Leo laughs at him.

 

“Don’t you have somewhere you promised you’d be, _darling_?” he asks, clambering off Ray and jumping down from the bed to clean himself off and put on pajamas.

 

Ray grins. “You’re right, I do.” He jumps in the shower quickly, so he doesn’t smell of sweat and sex, and throws on a pair of ratty jeans and a sweater. Leo is half asleep by the time Ray is ready to go, so Ray just presses a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s temple and walks out, stepping into a pair of shoes as he leaves. He heads down to the lab where Nate keeps the Steel suit, still slightly giddy from the feeling of Leo’s hands on him.

 

Nate looks up from the thick history text he’s reading when Ray enters the room. He catches sight of Ray’s wet hair and blushes. “I’m, uh, really sorry for interrupting you and Snart, man. I had no idea.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ray says, shrugging.

 

“I hope I didn’t, uh, ruin the mood.”

 

Ray snorts. “That’s hard to do.”

 

“Oh,” Nate says awkwardly. “Right.”

 

Ray looks at Nate, thinking about what Leo told him. About the possibility of Nate’s unrequited feelings…

 

Nate squirms under his stare.

 

“Hey, man—” Ray begins.

 

“So, the suit,” Nate cuts him off and starts chattering at him. Ray easily falls into the rhythm of teaching, showing Nate the various fixes and updates his suit needs. Nate had learned his suit pretty well before Ray left, but there’s still a lot he doesn’t know about it. He doesn’t know how to fix it up when it gets dented, or how some of the pieces fit together. The everyday maintenance stumps him.

 

Ray walks him through all of it, enjoying the easy camaraderie with Nate. It’s much easier to talk to Nate when Leo isn’t there, glaring like he wishes he could freeze the man with just his eyes. Ray wishes he could do something to convince Leo that Nate doesn’t have a crush on him…

 

It’s about an hour before they finish, the suit put back together, free of dents and shining. They’re quiet for a moment, admiring their work, when Ray can’t keep quiet anymore.

 

“Leo thinks you have feelings for me,” he bursts out.

 

Nate laughs awkwardly. “What? That’s ridiculous. I.” Nate shakes his head, then runs his fingers through his hair and grimaces. “Okay, I might have had feelings for you. A bit. Before you left to go, uh, do whatever you were doing with Snart.”

 

Ray looks at him, wide-eyed. _Shit_. “I had no idea…”

 

“Yeah, kinda got that when you left the ship to go date a criminal—sorry, former criminal—and not tell any of us about it.” Nate is still examining the suit, but Ray doesn’t think he’s really looking at it.

 

Ray is about to move on, accepting that Nate has moved on as well, when he has a sudden realization. “Wait, you didn’t know any of that until Leo and I joined back up.”

 

Nate finally looks at him, a slight panic on his face. Ray curses his big mouth, but it’s too late to take it back now.

 

“Okay, well,” Nate says, taking a deep breath, “the feelings may have…gone past that.”

 

“What do you mean?” Ray asks, dreading the answer. Leo is not going to be happy. Plus, Ray may have just ruined a good friendship.

 

“Yeah, okay, I have feelings for you.” Nate looks slightly pained. “But, you’re clearly with Snart so, like, it’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Ray says, and means it.

 

Nate shrugs. “Like I said, I’ll get over it.”

 

Ray feels the need to explain himself, to tell his friend _why_ he left the team to be with Leo. “I, uh. Once I found out he was alive, there was nothing else I could do. I _liked_ him, and I didn’t realize it until he went off and died. I couldn’t pass up a second chance like that, especially when I knew, without a doubt, that he had feelings for me too.”

 

“Yeah, man, I get it.”

 

Ray sighs. “Can we still be friends?”

 

Nate looks slightly relieved. “You still want to be friends with me?”

 

“Of course I do!”

 

“Oh. Good.”

 

They stand, looking at each other, until Ray catches sight of his ATOM suit out of the corner of his eye, and remembers something he had to do.

 

“Um, hey, so this is probably a bad time to ask this, but it’s the first chance I’ve had since Leo and I have been back on the ship.”

 

“What’s up?”

 

Ray walks over to the ATOM suit and pulls a small, square box out of a nook in the suit. “Can you hide this for me?”

 

“Um, sure? I guess. What is it?” Nate asks, taking the box out of Ray’s hands.

 

“It’s a secret,” Ray says.

 

Nate raises an eyebrow at him. “A secret…from Snart?”

 

“Yeah, look, it’s a miracle he hasn’t found it already, and that I haven’t needed to use the ATOM suit on a mission yet. Could you, uh, hide it in your room for me?”

 

Nate shrugs. “Why can’t you keep hiding it in here?”

 

“Leo’s got sticky fingers,” Ray answers. “He doesn’t really mean to anymore, he just accumulates things throughout the day. It’s actually kind of funny when he empties his pockets, to see what he’s collected. He’s like a magpie: he likes shiny things. His sister even made him some of those rings so he would stop mindlessly pocketing sparkly objects but clearly that failed…”

 

“So he, like, steals your things. Constantly. And you think it’s cute?” Nate asks.

 

“He gives them _back_ ,” Ray insists.

 

Nate shakes his head. “This is…weird.”

 

“Will you hide the box?” Ray asks, holding it out to Nate.

 

Nate takes it, turning it over in his hands. “Yeah, I’ll hide the box.”

 

“Thank you, Nate. It means a lot.” Ray grins at him, and Nate gives a weak smile back.

 

Nate turns to walk out, then stops. “You sure he’s not gonna go through my things?”

 

Ray winces. “Well. No. But he’s not gonna know it’s mine if he finds it.”

 

“You’re saying that your boyfriend may go through my things?!” Nate asks, alarmed.

 

“If he hasn’t already…”

 

“What?!” Nate practically yells, and Ray tries not to flinch. He doesn’t like getting yelled at.

 

“Yeah, sorry. I asked him not to and he just huffed at me and said ‘we’ll see’ so…maybe?”

 

Nate glares at him. “Ray, that is such an invasion of privacy.”

 

“Okay, sure, but what makes you think Mick has never gone through your things?” Ray asks. Nate shakes his head, trying to deny it, but Ray pushes forward. “They need to know everything about everyone they’re working with. It’s how they’ve survived. Old habits are hard to break, Nate.”

 

“But I have,” Nate blushes, “embarrassing things?”

 

Ray shrugs. “We all do, man. If Mick hasn’t said anything yet, he won’t. And Leo definitely won’t say anything, even to me. Look, I know it’s weird, but you get used to it. You got used to Mick, right?”

 

“Well, yeah,” Nate says.

 

Ray steps forward and puts a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “Leo takes some getting used to, but he’s really great. He’s been through some stuff, and it takes him a lot to open up to anyone. Will you please just give him a chance?”

 

Nate stares up at him for a minute, a calculating look in his eye. “Okay,” he finally says, coming to a decision, “but if I find him going through my stuff, I can’t make any promises on what I’ll do.”

 

“Oh, you won’t find him.”

 

“What?” Nate asks.

 

Ray grins, walking back over to shrink the ATOM suit back down to put in the case. “He doesn’t get caught.”

 

Nate stares at him. “You sound almost proud of that.”

 

“Maybe I am, a bit,” Ray responds.

 

“Ray, this is unbelievably weird,” Nate says, sounding pissy.

 

Nate is not taking this as well as Ray had hoped, and Ray hits a wall. His lack of sleep finally catches up with him, and all he wants is to stop getting yelled at by his friend and go to sleep next to Leo. “Sorry,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

 

“Ray—” Nate tries to say, but Ray is cranky now.

 

“I’m gonna go back to bed with my _weird_ boyfriend, unless you need anything else,” Ray says, clicking the hinges on the small case closed.

 

Nate huffs. “Uh, no, I think I’m gonna head to bed, too.” He starts to head out of the room, but seems to remember what had happened before he and Ray started arguing about Leo. “Um. Thanks for helping with the suit.”

 

Ray nods, still a bit annoyed, but already starting to warm back up to his friend. “You’re welcome. Thanks for hiding the rings.”

 

“THE WHAT?!” Nate yells, spinning back around.

 

Ray is confused, then realizes what he said. “Shit!”

 

“RINGS?!” Nate yells again, pulling the small box out of his pocket and trying to pry it open.

 

“Please keep your voice down!” Ray hisses, trying to figure out how to fix this.

 

“THE—” Nate stops himself and takes a deep breath. Quieter, he says, “The _fucking what_?”

 

Ray buries his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you,” he says, pitifully. “I didn’t want anyone to know, it just slipped out. Please don’t tell anyone.”

 

Nate grabs his arm. “You’re having me hide an _engagement ring_ from your boyfriend?”

 

“Well, more like wedding bands,” Ray admits, trying to pry his arm out of Nate’s grip.

 

“Oh my god,” Nate says, letting go and stepping back.

 

“Look,” Ray says, trying to salvage the situation, “I don’t know how long we’re gonna be on the ship before we go back to Central City. I wanted them to be special, for when the time was right. It’s not, right now. But I wanted to be prepared.”

 

Nate shakes his head, eyes wide. “Mick is right, you really are a boy scout.”

 

“Yeah, well, I mean, I’m actually an eagle scout, but that’s fine,” Ray corrects, before remembering his actual train of thought. “Leo’s sister and her boyfriend helped me make the rings, they’re really special. Please don’t let anything happen to them and _don’t tell anyone about them_.”

 

Nate nods, reluctantly. “Can I at least see them?”

 

“No,” Ray says. “And don’t try to get into the box. It’s set with a complicated mathematical equation so, really, only I can open it. Well, Marty could, not that he would.”

 

“Fine,” Nate says, petulantly. “I will hide this box that I do not know anything about in my room until further notice.” He turns to leave, but Ray stops him.

 

“Hey. Nate. Thank you. You really are a good friend.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Nate says, walking out of the lab.

 

Ray sighs and leaves as well. At least he’s got someone to cuddle with when he gets back to his room. Cuddling is necessary when you’ve just found out that your friend has feelings for you, and then you accidentally tell said friend that you’re planning to propose to your boyfriend at some point in the future. Yeah, definitely necessary.

 

The room he shares with Leo is dark and quiet when he gets back, Leo’s soft breathing barely audible over the ambient noises of the Waverider. Ray changes into pajamas and brushes his teeth, turning over the events of the night in his head. There were definitely things he could’ve handled better, but it’s too late for any of that now.

 

Plus, it’s no use worrying about it. Not when he gets to cuddle up with Leo. His boyfriend barely stirs when he slips into bed, wrapping himself around Leo’s back. Ray snuggles up against Leo and lets his eyes close, slipping off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Sorry for the gap of time, I got distracted by [Always in Motion is the Future](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9943007) but I'm back now to wrap this up! There's a bit of a ways to go, but hopefully I can do it in a reasonable amount of time <3


	8. You're Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo can feel his heart pounding in his ears. “You’re just gonna drop that Nate has feelings for you and go back to kissing me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for this chapter: consensual rough sex.

Leo wakes up in Raymond’s arms. It’s not like this doesn’t happen every morning, but it still makes Leo’s heart soar, every time. At least here, he doesn’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks of them; here, he doesn’t have to worry about anything but Raymond pressed flush against his back. Leo wants to live in this moment forever, but he also wants to look at his boyfriend, so he carefully flips over.

 

Raymond stirs as he does so, eyes fluttering open to peer at Leo sleepily. “Hi,” Raymond murmurs, his lips curling up, and Leo’s heart skips a beat.

 

“Hey,” he responds softly, brushing his fingers along Raymond’s jawline. Raymond leans into the touch, so Leo hooks his fingertips under Raymond’s chin, pulling his boyfriend forward into a kiss. It’s familiar and fresh at the same time; like every time he kisses Raymond is the start of something new. He should hate how sappy he’s letting himself be, but he just can’t. Not with the sunshine radiating off of Raymond, warming him down to his core.

 

Leo’s in the middle of working his fingers down the front of Raymond’s pajama pants when Raymond speaks. “You were right,” he says, pulling back barely enough to say the words and then leaning back in for a kiss.

 

But Leo loves being told he’s right. He shifts, stopping the kiss, and stilling his hand to rest on Raymond’s stomach. “About what?” he asks, lips barely an inch away from Raymond’s.

 

“About Nate,” Raymond says, thoughtlessly, and it’s like a bucket of ice water poured over Leo. He sits up, and Raymond peers up at him, confused. “What?”

 

Leo can feel his heart pounding in his ears. “You’re just gonna drop that Nate has feelings for you and go back to kissing me?”

 

Raymond blinks, and Leo realizes that his boyfriend is still half asleep.

 

“Whatever,” Leo says, and gets out of bed, climbing over Raymond.

 

“Wait, Leo—” Raymond starts, rubbing at his eyes, clearing the sleep from them.

 

Leo’s already in the bathroom, wishing he could slam the door instead of letting it whir shut automatically. He locks it behind him as he turns on the shower.

 

He should’ve guessed this would happen. He can only imagine how Raymond knows; he lets his mind run wild as he takes too long in the shower, letting the water burn against his skin. It’s no use: heat has never comforted him the same way cold has. He turns the temperature all the way down, but it’s still not cold enough. Damn future technology, making sure shower water never gets below lukewarm.

 

Leo isn’t even shivering as he steps out of the shower—the bathroom is still heated up from when he tried to burn the annoyance out of himself. He dries off, brushes his teeth, shaves, and then there’s nothing else he can do in the bathroom. There’s nothing he can do but step back out into the bedroom and face the music. Or, in this case, a sad expression on his boyfriend’s face.

 

Raymond is leaning back against the wall with his knees up against his chest when Leo emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy robe. He’s wearing exactly the expression Leo knew he would be wearing: a mix of big, puppy-dog eyes and a stubborn set to his jaw.

 

“I’m sorry,” Raymond says, and Leo shakes his head.

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

 

Raymond uncurls, perching at the edge of the bed. Leo can see the coiled energy, can see that Raymond wants to bound forward and pull Leo into his arms. He doesn’t, because he knows Leo well enough at this point. Theoretically.

 

“ _I_ wanna talk about it, love,” Raymond says, and Leo bristles.

 

“No.” Leo walks to the closet, starts rifling through clothes and pulling out various pieces.

 

Raymond sighs. “I’m gonna, though. Look, Nate and I had a conversation, and he’s gonna get over it.”

 

“Really?” Leo says, entirely unconvinced. “And just how do you know this?”

 

“He said so!” Raymond jumps down from the bed and comes up behind Leo, not quite touching. Just, there. “Leo, please look at me.”

 

Leo turns around abruptly, and Raymond grabs him, catching hold of his biceps. Raymond’s eyes are glinting now, with that reckless determination he always wears before he jumps headfirst into danger. “I’m not going to leave you,” he says sharply.

 

Leo laughs, harsh and cruel, in Raymond’s face. “Why not? Nate’s a hell of a lot more fun than I am. Less emotional baggage. He’s got a _PhD_ ,” Leo emphasizes each letter as he says the degree, almost spitting it out, “and I know how much you like intelligence.”

 

Raymond doesn’t back off, doesn’t move an inch. Just stares into Leo’s eyes, his fingers digging into Leo’s arms hard enough that Leo thinks they’re going to bruise.

 

“I don’t know how to convince you that I’m with you because I want to be,” Raymond says. “That I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. _Fuck_ , Leo, why won’t you believe me?”

 

Leo growls and surges forward, catching Raymond’s mouth in a harsh, angry kiss. He bites down, tasting blood as his teeth dig into Raymond’s lower lip. Raymond moans, pushing Leo back against the wall and lifting him up. Leo’s legs wrap tightly around Raymond’s waist and he thrusts his hips forward, away from the wall, almost unbalancing them. Raymond adjusts, and then he half-throws, half-pushes Leo onto the bed. Leo’s not a small guy, but sometimes he forgets that Raymond is bigger than he is. Stronger.

 

Raymond tries to climb on top, but this is Leo’s show now. He flips them over, throwing off his robe and tearing off Raymond’s sweatpants. Leo grabs the lube, quickly opening Raymond up just barely enough before thrusting in. Raymond cries out, but wraps his legs around Leo’s waist, forcing Leo in deeper.

 

Leo latches on to the side of Raymond’s neck with his mouth, sucking and licking and biting. He wants, no _needs_ , to leave a mark. He needs the whole ship to know that Raymond is _his_ and nobody else’s. He needs _Raymond_ to know this. “You’re mine,” he snarls, nipping up the outside of Raymond’s ear.

 

Raymond groans. “I’m yours,” he agrees, digging his nails into Leo’s back as Leo fucks into him, hard and fast. “I’m all yours, Leo, _fuck_.”

 

“Say it again,” Leo growls.

 

Raymond lets out a breathy gasp. “Leo, oh god, Leo,” is all that he says.

 

“Again,” Leo commands, pushing into Raymond all the way and stopping.

 

“ _Leo_ ,” Raymond whimpers.

 

Leo runs his teeth across Raymond’s collarbone. “I won’t ask a third time,” he says, voice low and gritty, hips still.

 

“I’m yours, I’m all yours, _please_ , Leo, I need you,” Raymond whines. “I’m only yours, I’m nobody’s but yours.” Leo snarls and pulls out halfway, angling himself to push back inside Raymond perfectly.

 

Raymond swears, nails digging in so hard that he breaks the skin, blood pooling up in small half-circles on the surface of Leo’s back.

 

Leo thrusts in again, and again, and again, and Raymond comes, spilling out hot and fast. Leo doesn’t slow his thrusts, just uses the clenching of Raymond’s muscles and the mewling coming out of his lover’s mouth to reach his own orgasm. He doesn’t yell, but it’s a close call. He turns his shouts into growls instead, and nips again at Raymond’s neck.

 

“F _uck_ ,” Raymond says after a few seconds, panting heavily, loosening his grip on Leo’s back.

 

Leo pulls out and straddles Raymond, pressing their foreheads together. He already wants to apologize for his roughness, for his loss of control, but Raymond just cups his face, bringing him in for another kiss. Raymond’s mouth works against his, hot and heavy, like they didn’t just have rough sex. Like Raymond is ready to go another round.

 

Sometimes, Leo forgets that Raymond’s not a pushover. That he’s not _really_ a puppy. Leo forgets that Raymond is a badass superhero who throws himself headfirst into danger without a second thought, and usually comes out on top. Sometimes, Leo forgets that Raymond went through hell and came out smiling.

 

“I’m _yours_ ,” Raymond says, when the kiss finally breaks. “I’m not gonna stop being yours just because someone else has a crush on me. _Nate_ having a crush on me isn’t gonna change a thing.”

 

Leo sighs and rolls off Raymond, curling up against his side. “Okay,” he says, pushing his nose into the growing bruise on Raymond’s neck.

 

“Ow.” Raymond seems to notice the hickey for the first time. “Did you draw blood?” he asks, and Leo peers at it to check.

 

“No.”

 

Raymond huffs, but turns on his side so the two of them are face-to-face. “Leo,” he says, sounding fondly exasperated, “I don’t want you freaking out about this.”

 

“Too late for that,” Leo snarks, trying to play it off. Raymond doesn’t take the bait. As usual.

 

“All that happened was that I told Nate you thought he had feelings for me. He admitted to it, I told him I was with you, he said that he understood and that he’d get over it. That’s _all_.”

 

Leo tucks his head under Raymond’s chin, resting his forehead on his boyfriend’s chest. “Why would you do something so stupid?” he asks, quietly.

 

“Don’t be a dick,” Raymond says, softer than anyone has any right to say those words.

 

Leo laughs, and it’s not quite a happy laugh, but it’s getting closer. “I don’t know how to be anything else.”

 

Raymond grabs Leo’s chin and forces his head up so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “Yes, you do,” he says, biting the words out. “You _do_ know how to be so much more, and you know it. You have _got_ to stop being so self-deprecating.”

 

“Or else what?” Leo can’t stop himself from asking.

 

Raymond’s eyes well up, and Leo feels like an asshole. “Or else I’ll be upset? I don’t know what you want me to say, Leo. This isn’t an ultimatum, even though you seem to keep expecting one at the weirdest times.”

 

Leo droops, pressing his forehead against Raymond’s again. “Sorry,” he says. “I can’t seem to stop fucking up, can I?”

 

“Oh, honey,” Raymond says, and Leo shivers at the way the new pet name leaves Raymond’s mouth. “Honey, no.”

 

“Honey?” Leo asks. “That’s a new one.”

 

Raymond kisses the tip of his nose. “I feel like I’m allowed a new pet name, if you get to call me ‘darling’ _and_ ‘sweetheart.’ Plus, it fits the situation. Leo, _honey_ , you do _not_ keep fucking up. This is all new territory for you, and you’re navigating it the best you can. These things happen. Couples _fight_ , love. This isn’t you fucking up, this is us figuring out a new situation and butting heads about it. It’s natural. It happens.”

 

“Maybe I’ll go back to calling you ‘pretty boy’ and ‘boy scout,’” Leo muses, buying himself time to process Raymond’s words.

 

“Mmm, you never really told me why you feel weird about pet names but still called me those.”

 

“Those were jokes. Not really pet names if I’m teasing you with them, even if that teasing also involves flirting.”

 

“Hmm.” Raymond focuses his eyes, gazing deep into Leo’s eyes. “You could still tease me with them. Even if I’m still actually an eagle scout.” He grins, and the tension breaks like a wave.

 

“A fucking _eagle scout_ ,” Leo groans, pulling the pillow from under his head and half-heartedly throwing it at Raymond.

 

“A fucking eagle scout,” Raymond agrees, tucking the pillow back underneath Leo’s head and leaning in to kiss him again.

 

Leo sinks into the pillow, into the kiss. When they break apart, his heart is lighter. “I do trust you, Raymond,” he says, and is heartened to see Raymond smile.

 

“I’m glad. It means a lot.” Raymond brushes the side of Leo’s face with his thumb.

 

“If you gentlemen are quite done,” Gideon breaks in, “Captain Lance requests your presence on the bridge.”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Raymond responds, “we’ll be there in…ten minutes?” he says, taking in the mess that he and Leo have made of each other. They’re definitely going to have to shower before facing the team, and Leo looks forward to a quick shower with Raymond, even without any sex. Just touching Raymond is enough to make him smile.

 

Just Raymond, glowing even after their fight, is enough to make Leo happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO IN ONE NIGHT IT'S A MIRACLE also I am impatient okay let me live


	9. Interface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sara pulls the lever and sends them careening into the time stream, the pain is almost a whisper in comparison to the last time. Leo can feel the Oculus, bracing itself in the same way Leo is braced up between the wall and the window. He can sense the Oculus watching though his now-glowing eyes, following the time stream with a pinpoint focus.

Leo is viciously thrilled that Raymond picks a v-neck sweater to wear to the team meeting instead a polo. Not that a polo would’ve covered up the entirety of the blossoming bruise that Raymond spent five of their ten promised minutes poking at, examining it in the mirror. (Leo can’t believe he’s dating someone who regularly wears _polo shirts_ , but that’s beside the point.)

 

Still, Leo appreciates that Raymond doesn’t even contemplate covering it up. Leo’s also starting to feel less and less bad about losing control, because Raymond gets a wicked look in his eyes every time he runs his fingers across the hickey. That’s something to contemplate later, because as soon as Leo and Raymond step onto the bridge, hand in hand, the team reacts to the mark on Raymond’s neck.

 

Sara’s first, slapping her hands over her mouth so she doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t really help. Mick starts laughing, Jax yelps, Stein looks horrified. Hex looks vaguely proud, and Rip and Amaya both roll their eyes. Nate, though, Nate looks murderous.

 

Leo finds that it’s a lot less fun taunting Nate when he knows, rather than suspects, that Nate has feelings for his boyfriend. It’s a complicated warring of emotions hitting him, a mix that Leo can’t quite piece together. Something about jealousy, he thinks, combined with…regret? Not regret for leaving the mark, exactly, more like regret for _Nate_ ’s reaction.

 

More like regret that his possessiveness of Raymond may have _hurt_ Nate.

 

Weird.

 

Sara cuts through his train of thought, and he files the feelings away to catalog later.

 

“Can we focus, please? Pl _ease_?” she asks, and barely waits for half the team to nod at her before continuing, “We’ve been done with the mission for two days, and we still have no set course for where we’re headed next. But, here’s the thing—I don’t wanna leave the Waverider here, in 1926, any longer than I have to, and it’s already been too long. Leonard,” she says, turning to him, “are you well enough to jump into the temporal zone?”

 

Leo shrugs. “Won’t know until we try, I guess.”

 

“Okay,” Sara says, “take your seats, then, team. Let’s go.”

 

“What, right now?” Raymond asks.

 

Sara raises an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, Ray, right now. We’re not all on your have-sex-every-five-minutes schedule. We have other things to do. Like, for instance, saving the world. Sit down, shut up, we’re time jumping.”

 

“It’s not every—” Raymond cuts himself off as Sara gives him a death glare. “Right, got it, sitting down and shutting up.”

 

Leo goes to follow him, but stops with a poke from the Oculus. “Hold on,” he says, and pokes back. It nudges him in the direction of the large front window. “I think the Oculus, uh, wants to watch,” he says wonderingly, as he wraps his hand around one of the metal supports.

 

“Um. Okay.” Sara sits down in the captain’s chair. “Just, don’t fall, okay? I don’t want to have to carry you to the med bay.”

 

Leo nods and sits down on the sill, bracing himself in the small nook. He catches Raymond’s eye and smiles, in a way that he hopes is reassuring. Raymond does not look convinced, but blows him a kiss anyway.

 

When Sara pulls the lever and sends them careening into the time stream, the pain is almost a whisper in comparison to the last time. Leo can feel the Oculus, bracing itself in the same way Leo is braced up between the wall and the window. He can sense the Oculus watching though his now-glowing eyes, following the time stream with a pinpoint focus.

 

After a neat bit of flying, Sara settles them in the temporal zone and relinquishes control to Gideon. Leo barely notices, with the wave of calm flooding through him. He stares around, astonished at the clarity of the timeline. It’s like he’s finally removed enough to appreciate the beauty of it; he feels detached and yet even more connected to it at the same time.

 

Raymond comes up to him, stopping a few paces away. “Leo, you’re glowing,” he says quietly.

 

“I know,” Leo says, “but I can breathe.” He’s not sure that makes sense, but he’s also not sure that he cares. He walks in a circle around the bridge, ignoring the team staring at him in confusion. “This is _so cool_ ,” he mutters to himself, running his fingers through the time stream. It feels like rain, if you could grab hold of rain like you could party streamers.

 

The Oculus pokes at him, directs him toward Sara. “What?” he asks. The Oculus pushes him forward, reaches out his hand, puts it on Sara’s shoulder. Sara, to her credit, doesn’t flinch. Not until she starts glowing, too.

 

“What the fuck?!” she shouts, jumping back. “What was that?”

 

Leo’s mouth drops open. “Holy shit,” he says, “I can show you the world.” He starts laughing at his own joke, but Sara continues to glare at him.

 

Leo stops laughing at her sharp gaze, still feeling giddy and light, and holds out his hand again. “Let me show you the Oculus, _Captain_.” She shakes her head and he sighs. “Fine.” He spins around and holds his hand out to Raymond, “ _Lover_? Give it a whirl?”

 

Raymond raises his eyebrows. “You’re acting weird, Leo,” he says, but steps forward and takes Leo’s hand anyway. “Woah,” he says as his eyes start to glow. Blue and white light pours out of Raymond, mixing with the light flowing out of Leo. Raymond stares around, eyes wide and astonished, for a few moments, before wincing. “Ow,” he says, stepping back and rubbing at his forehead.

 

“You okay?” Leo asks.

 

“Hurts my head after a bit, I guess,” Raymond says. “It’s fading, so I guess it was just overwhelming.”

 

Leo nods, reassured. “Anyone else want to see the timeline?”

 

Rip steps forward cautiously. “I’d be interested, Mr. Snart.” Leo gestures him forward and places a hand on his shoulder, like with Sara. Rip takes a deep breath, and Leo can feel him opening up his mind. “I can’t believe this is what you see, constantly,” he mutters, looking around in wonderment.

 

He lasts a moment or so longer than Raymond did before stumbling back, clutching his forehead. The glow fades as Hex collects Rip in his arms, muttering endearments too softly for anyone else to hear.

 

Leo remains where he is, waiting, watching. It’s odd, he thinks, that he can’t find even an estimate of what the team is going to do. It’s almost as if their timelines don’t exist in the temporal zone. He tries to grab hold of Raymond’s timeline, but it just slips through his fingers.

 

“My powers don’t work on people who are in the temporal zone,” he muses out loud.

 

Rip’s head shoots up. “Really?” he asks. “Now that _is_ interesting.”

 

“Fascinating,” Stein cuts in, walking over. “May I give it a try, Mr. Snart?”

 

Leo nods, and once again reaches out his hand to place it on the professor’s shoulder. Only, this time, he feels his focus split in two directions—Stein and Jax start glowing simultaneously.

 

“What the…” Jax starts, holding his glowing hands in front of his face.

 

“ _Cool_ ,” Leo says again, grinning.

 

“Astonishing,” the professor says. “It seems as though the Oculus can flow through my connection with Jefferson. I am quite impressed! What would happen if you were to touch us in this state of yours while Jefferson and I were merged? I would like to—”

 

“Okay, Gray, let’s leave the testing for later,” Jax says, cutting him off. “We’ll have plenty of time for experiments later.” He peers at Leo. “This doesn’t hurt you?”

 

Leo shakes his head. “Surprisingly, no. It’s, uh, I don’t know…I’m removed from the timeline so I can see things clearly, I guess.” He turns his head to look at Raymond, who is currently bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “Yes, Raymond, do you have something to share?”

 

“I’m getting ideas!” Raymond replies, so excited that Leo can feel it coming off him in waves. “I’ll let you know if I come up with anything concrete!”

 

“Okay,” Leo says, accepting the frantic nature of Raymond’s brain at times. He notices that his hand is still on Stein’s shoulder. “Professor? Are you alright?” he asks.

 

“Hmm?”

 

Rip walks over, clearly following the same train of thought as Leo. “You’re right, Mr. Snart. It has been quite a bit longer than either myself or Dr. Palmer were able to hold on for.”

 

“Oh! Yes, I feel quite normal. Jefferson?”

 

Jax joins them in the center of the room. “Yeah, man, I’m okay.”

 

“No pain?” Rip asks and both halves of Firestorm shake their heads. “Thoughts, Mr. Snart?”

 

Leo thinks for a second. “Maybe something to do with splitting the stimulation between the two of them?”

 

“That’s a brilliant idea, Mr. Snart,” Stein exclaims. “Yes, I believe you are on to something! Perhaps in combination with Jefferson and myself already being used to sharing a body at times; together, those two factors make it easier for the two of us to view the Oculus for longer than any of our fellow teammates. Excluding you, of course, Mr. Snart.”

 

“Of course,” Leo says, feeling the twinge of a headache looming at the edges at his temples. “Okay, I think that’s enough for now.” He removes his hand from the professor’s shoulder and pulls the Oculus back into himself. Lightheaded now, he turns to catch Raymond’s eye and stumbles. He doesn’t fall, but it’s a close call, and Raymond rushes over to help him into a chair.

 

“Overextended yourself?” Raymond asks, concerned.

 

“Maybe a bit,” Leo says, laughing. The giddy lightness is still bubbling up in his head, but it’s slowly turning into dizziness now. Still, at least his nose isn’t bleeding, so that’s a plus. “I should go lie down…”

 

Raymond moves to help him up, but Leo takes one look at his boyfriend and shakes his head.

 

“What?” Raymond asks.

 

“You’re still bouncing up and down with ideas, Raymond. Go, work through them. I’ll be okay.”

 

Raymond tilts his head. “You sure?”

 

Leo stands, unsteady but sturdy enough to get to his room. He shifts from foot to foot, testing, and then nods. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

 

Raymond smiles, cupping his face and kissing him deeply. Leo can hear Sara shushing the rest of the team as they start to make a variety of disgusted noises, and he’s grateful.

 

“I’ll see you later?” Raymond asks.

 

“Yeah,” Leo says, and shuffles off to his room. Behind him, Raymond babbling at various teammates. Something for Leo to focus on later, after his nap.

 

—

 

Leo wakes up to an empty bed and an empty room. He even flings his hand out to check that he is, in fact, the only one in the bed, but his hand easily reaches the edge. Not that Raymond could exactly sleep in the bed without touching Leo, big as he is.

 

Still, Leo needed to check. He doesn’t _mind_ , exactly, but he does feel a little lonely. He’s sure Raymond got distracted by all his big ideas and not by anything (or anyone) else, at least.

 

He rolls over, and almost rolls off the edge. Shit. He really has gotten too used to someone else being there with him, to help him judge where exactly he is in relation to the side of the bed. Plus, he’d been spoiled in Central City, with both of the real beds he’d had during his time there. His bed at S.T.A.R. Labs had been a queen, nice but ultimately nothing to write home about, but the bed in the apartment he’d moved into with Raymond, well.

 

Raymond certainly wore casual luxury well: like a robe, if the robe was silk and fine embroidery, and perfectly tailored. The bed in his apartment fit the bill—it was a king bed, with the softest sheets Leo had ever felt, complete with puffy pillows and fluffy blankets. It even had _fucking bedposts_ and a _goddamn canopy_. It was disgusting, and Leo loved it. He practically sank into it, and he could easily lose Raymond in the middle of night in it, waking up tangled up in sheets instead of cuddled with his boyfriend.

 

Their bed on the Waverider is barely larger than a twin, and neither Leo nor Raymond could be classified as small in any world. Or, at least, any world Leo’s been to. He’s heard about alternate universes from his time at S.T.A.R. Labs, and he supposes there might be worlds out there with giants. Apparently there’s one out there where he’s mayor of Central City…

 

Leo shakes his head, clearing that train of thought. “Gideon,” he says in the direction of the ceiling, turning over to lay on his back, “how long have I been asleep?”

 

“Approximately four hours,” Gideon replies smoothly.

 

Leo sighs. If Raymond’s already been working that long, he could probably go on for another four hours. As much as Leo doesn’t want to get out of bed, he supposes he should at least see what his boyfriend is up to. Plus, he’s done nothing but sleep recently, and he wants to try to get back into the rhythm of the ship.

 

He gets out of bed and gargles some mouthwash to get rid of the gross taste in his mouth from napping. After changing back into his clothes, he heads out into the ship to find his boyfriend.

 

The bridge is empty and dark. He spins around a few times, and reaches for Raymond’s timeline without thinking. When he can’t find it, he panics for a second, before remembering that he can’t see _any_ of the team’s timelines in the temporal zone.

 

“Gideon, where’s Raymond?” he asks, realizing he should’ve just done that first.

 

“Dr. Palmer is in the lab with Captain Hunter, Professor Stein, and Mr. Jackson,” Gideon responds immediately.

 

That’s an interesting group, Leo thinks, heading to the lab. As he gets closer, he hears all four conferring loudly.

 

“That won’t work!” Stein exclaims, in the tone of voice of someone who is annoyed at being ignored.

 

“Yes it will!” Raymond half-shouts. “I think I know more about this than you do, and—”

 

“And I know more about the Waverider than either of you,” Jax says, cutting him off. “This will _only_ work if there’s something to connect _to_.”

 

“I don’t want to do that to him,” Raymond says, stubbornly.

 

Rip clears his throat as Leo clears the corner. “I’m not sure you have a choice, Dr. Palmer.”

 

“Do what to who?” Leo asks, stepping into the lab. All eyes immediately zero in on him. “Uh, hi, guys.”

 

“Leo,” Raymond says carefully, walking forwards with his palms up, “I don’t want you to freak out about this, okay? Just hear us out.”

 

Leo raises an eyebrow, immediately wary. “Raymond?”

 

“I—”

 

“I figured out a way to plug you into Gideon!” Jax says, excitedly.

 

Leo freezes.

 

Raymond winces. “Jax!”

 

“What?” Jax asks, throwing his arms up. “It was my idea! I didn’t want you taking credit for it!”

 

“First of all,” the professor says, “it was a joint effort. Second of all—”

 

“Everyone shut up,” Raymond says sharply, stepping forward and touching Leo’s cheek with an unsteady hand. “Get out,” he says, looking at Leo, but waving his free hand at everyone else. With a lot of muttering, the other three clear out, leaving Raymond alone with Leo.

 

Leo draws in a shaky breath, waiting. Raymond sighs, leaning forward to press his forehead against Leo’s. He doesn’t speak, so Leo does: “Is it true?”

 

Raymond pulls back briefly, only to adjust and collect Leo into a tight hug. “Yes. It would be, well, short doses at a time. Just for you to interface with Gideon, so she could collect the most up-to-date timeline data.”

 

“No.”

 

“Leo—”

 

“No,” he says again, pushing Raymond away. “No, Raymond. You know how I feel about this. No fucking way. It’s permanent, too? The interface?”

 

Raymond runs a hand through his hair, looking pained. “Yes. It would need to be implanted, tailored to your biometrics.”

 

“Absolutely fucking not.” Leo’s heart is pounding. He can’t get a deep breath, and he’s starting to feel a bit nauseous. “No goddamn way.”

 

“Can I—” Jax starts, popping his head back into the lab.

 

“No!” Leo says, and then immediately regrets it as he catches Jax’s face falling. He curses every single big brother instinct drilled into him from raising Lisa as he says, “Sorry, kid. What, uh, what do you want?”

 

“Look, man,” Jax says, stepping back into the lab and perching on the edge of a stool, “Ray explained why you’re so freaked about this. I get it! I wouldn’t want to be plugged into a time ship for the rest of my life, either. But, we’re a team. We wouldn’t do that to you, and we’re not gonna let anything happen to you. I know I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, anyway. Ray won’t, either.”

 

Raymond nods emphatically.

 

Jax kicks his feet back and forth, looking thoughtfully at Leo. “I know this ship inside and out,” he finally says. “I can take it apart and put it back together. Believe me when I tell you, I can hook you in, and you won’t feel a thing. Plus,” he says, with a little grin, “how cool would it be to be a cyborg? Come on, man, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it?”

 

It is tempting, Leo thinks. He loves sci-fi too much to not be a little fascinated by the concept.

 

Jax isn’t done though: “You might be the first person in all of history to interface with a sentient AI. You’re already probably the first person to have the Oculus in your head.”

 

Leo nods, confirming Jax’s statement. “I am. Not sure I wanna be a guinea pig, though.”

 

“Nah, man. Not a guinea pig. A _pioneer_.” Jax’s eyes are glinting with glee. “Look, we know what we’re doing. I know this ship better than Rip ever did. Gray created Firestorm, right? Ray, well, he’s Ray.” Jax gestures vaguely at Raymond, and Leo almost smiles. “And Rip? If I know the Waverider, Rip knows Gideon. Gideon is _his_ and if the both of them say it can be done, I believe them.”

 

“Wait,” Leo cuts in, “Gideon’s been consulting?”

 

“I have, indeed, Mr. Snart,” Gideon says.

 

Leo glares up at the ceiling, in no real direction. He’s not sure he wants to put his life in the hands, or lack thereof, of an AI, no matter how much he’s interacted with her in the past. “Why should I trust you with this, Gideon?” he asks.

 

“Because, Mr. Snart,” Gideon says, “you trust my creator.”

 

“I don’t know who fuckin’ made you.”

 

Gideon’s response is not anywhere close to what he was expecting. “I was created by Mr. Barry Allen,” she says.

 

“What?!” Leo and Raymond say together. Jax just nods.

 

“In your future, Mr. Allen is my inventor. I trust you know what values he would instill in something he created.”

 

Leo is stunned into silence.

 

“ _Barry_?” Raymond asks, disbelieving. Jax nods again. “You knew about this, Jax?”

 

“Rip told me, pretty recently,” Jax replies.

 

“Okay,” Leo says, so quietly he almost doesn’t realize he’s said it until he sees Raymond and Jax looking at him in confusion. He clears his throat and says it louder. “Okay. You’ve all convinced me. I’ll do it, on one condition.” They look at him expectantly, as he figures out how to formulate the words. “I don’t want Rip anywhere near this,” he finally says.

 

“Why?” Jax asks, but Leo just shakes his head.

 

“I just don’t.”

 

“But—”

 

“Leave it, Jax,” Raymond says, and Jax quiets.

 

From there on, it’s all technical talk and blood samples and Leo lets it wash over him, in the few weeks it takes for the resident nerds to figure out how to make it work. Sometimes, recanting is on the tip of his tongue, but he catches Raymond’s eye, steady and sure, and keeps his mouth shut.

 

This is what he was brought back for, right? That’s what he keeps reminding himself, anyway. The Oculus brought him back to save the timeline. The Oculus brought him back to save _time_. He knows this is going to help.

 

He tries to remember that as Raymond makes a small incision between two scars at the base of his neck, slipping a small mechanical object half under the skin, half on top. Leo pokes at it when Raymond finishes, and it feels weird to have something so foreign poking out of his upper back, even as small as it is. Even as small as Raymond made it. All that tech, all those complicated bits and pieces Leo watched the scientists fiddle with, miniaturized to the size of a dime.

 

He tries to stay calm, as Jax pulls out a cord from Gideon’s console, and clicks it into place. And then, for a minute, all he sees is white.

 

If he hadn’t been sitting down, he would’ve fallen over when Jax unplugs him. As it is, he pitches forward into Raymond’s waiting arms.

 

“You okay, love?” Raymond murmurs into his ear.

 

“Not really,” Leo says back, quiet enough that only Raymond can hear. He raises his voice and asks Jax, “Did it work?”

 

Jax’s grin says it all. “Yeah, man! Worked like a dream!”

 

Sara stands at the console, flicking through all the new data. “Well, we certainly have some starting points. This is great, guys. Good work.”

 

Leo would smile, if he could muster the energy to do so. He would smile, if he didn’t feel like all his worst fears were coming true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a story. I wrote this chapter probably over a month ago at this point (yeah, I know, sorry). This story has always been cathartic for me, as the symptoms I give Leonard are mostly what I deal with on a daily basis, although his headaches are a lot worse. But the fatigue, being overwhelmed by the images (or stimuli), those are all me.  
> So I wrote this a month ago, where Leonard gets an interface port and becomes a cyborg. Two days ago, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease, and I will be getting what is called a PICC line installed, which is literally just an interface port so I can do home IVs.  
> This story continues to be cathartic, in ways I never even thought it would be.


	10. Guilt/Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo thinks Raymond feels guilty for pushing Leo into accepting the interface port. Raymond should, but that’s beside the point. The point is that Raymond takes a step back, and Leo loses the resistance that’s kept him afloat.
> 
> And he sinks.

Avoidance has always been Leo’s coping mechanism of choice. Inconvenient feelings? Toss ‘em aside. Bury them six feet deep, relish the thump of dirt hitting hollow wood as they disappear from view.

 

Since he and Raymond started dating, Leo hasn’t had the luxury of avoidance. Raymond insists on dragging those annoying emotions out into the light, perseverating on them, talking them out. This time, though—this time is different.

 

Raymond tries to give him space, and Leo thinks that was the first mistake.

 

Leo doesn’t have many regrets in his life, never had that luxury either. He regrets the interface port, as Raymond calls it. It sits, hot against his skin, feeling like the biggest mistake Leo’s ever made.

 

The only reason Raymond’s been able to keep Leo open and honest up to this point is his stubbornness, his inability to let anything lie. But, he lets this lie.

 

Leo thinks Raymond feels guilty for pushing Leo into accepting the interface port. Raymond should, but that’s beside the point. The point is that Raymond takes a step back, and Leo loses the resistance that’s kept him afloat.

 

And he sinks.

 

He sinks, and he sinks, and Raymond isn’t there to catch him when he hits the bottom. Leo resents him for it.

 

They still share a room, because where else would Raymond go? Where would Leo? They’re both too stubborn to leave, anyway. Leo sleeps a lot more than Raymond, with the Oculus rattling around inside his head, draining his energy like a sieve. It makes it easier for Raymond to avoid him, to come to bed late and leave early.

 

Leo wouldn’t even know Raymond had been sleeping there, if he didn’t wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, every night. He’s starting to live with a constant feeling of dread, coiling hot in the pit of his stomach, pooling at the corners of his mind, startling him out of sleep at odd hours. Raymond’s always there when Leo wakes up with his hands clamped over his mouth to keep from screaming, his muscles clenched so he doesn’t spasm and wake up Raymond.

 

Raymond, who drapes himself over Leo in sleep, as though they’re okay. As if this isn’t the only time they touch, these days.

 

He supposes there’s not really any way the two of them could sleep together in their small bed without touching, but it gives Leo warring emotions once he’s calmed down enough to process outside stimuli. At least it’s comforting enough to lull him back to sleep. It’s a lot easier, in his exhausted state, to pretend everything’s fine. To pretend he can actually stand to look at his boyfriend.

 

Missions pass in a blur, and Leo can’t distinguish between the beginning of one and the end of another. Jax plugs him into Gideon every few days, and Raymond is always there to catch him when he collapses afterwards.

 

It doesn’t help, and it always takes more out of him than he’d like to admit.

 

He’s relegated to library duty now. Hex gets to be out in the field, while Leo continues to interface with Gideon. At least this way of interfacing doesn’t require plugging him in. He can’t help but start to resent Gideon too; she’s always calm and patient, and she’s always perfectly fine after Leo disconnects. Leo would love to rip through her innards and take her apart, and he snaps at her more often than not.

 

His teammates try to talk to him, but he brushes each one of them off.

 

Sara tries first. It’s not her fault it doesn’t work—but it is her fault she approaches him as his captain, rather than as his friend. He can tell she’s annoyed with him, and he tries to listen to her, but he’d rather punch himself in the face than listen to her try to tactfully tell him he’s being an asshole. He would rather _she_ just punch him in the face, instead.

 

Not that it would make a difference, but at least he’d feel something, rather than empty.

 

Amaya tries next, and Leo can tell it’s only because Sara asked her to. Amaya doesn’t know him, really, or care about him. “I’m not your damn therapist,” she tells him, and she’s right. None of them are. They’re all fucking trainwrecks, who the hell are any of _them_ to give him relationship advice? He’s glad when Amaya shuffles off, more annoyed than defeated. At least he doesn’t have to be on the receiving end of her disapproving glare any longer.

 

Mick’s after her, and Leo knew that he would be. It’s a pathetic attempt, which Leo also knew that it would be.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Mick says, and Leo nods, because it’s true. Mick continues to tell him things he already knows, and leaves in defeat. Leo already knows Raymond still loves him, already knows he still loves Raymond, already knows that Raymond makes him happier than he’s ever been.

 

None of that stops the sting of betrayal, the crushing weight of guilt. Leo said yes, he let this happen, and he’ll never forgive himself for that. He doesn’t deserve the happiness he’s been given because, in the end, he’s always gonna fuck it up. Better to end things now, before…

 

Except he knows there’s no before. There’s no “before he gets in too deep,” no “before he can’t pull back,” no “before there’s no return.”

 

He’s already in too deep. He already can’t pull back. There’s already no return. He can’t bear the thought of being without Raymond. So how does he reconcile that with not being able to look at Raymond? With not wanting to hold Raymond, not wanting to kiss him, not wanting to fuck him?

 

It’s Raymond’s fault, for letting him sink so deep. It’s Raymond’s fault for giving up on him, just this once.

 

It’s Leo’s fault, for putting all of his emotional dependency on Raymond, and not taking any responsibility for it himself.

 

And it’s Hex who finally breaks through.

 

Hex tries to talk to Leo after Mick does, stalking into the library after a mission and throwing open the mini-fridge to pull out two beers. He sits down on the couch next to Leo, holding one of them out.

 

“Your foul mood is fuckin’ this whole goddamn team up,” Hex says, as his opening.

 

“Okay,” Leo says, taking a sip of the beer Hex had handed to him.

 

Hex continues, strong as he started, “You need’ta talk to that boy about whatever the fuck stick you got up your ass.”

 

“None of your business,” Leo says, knowing it’s not going to stop Hex in the slightest.

 

Hex glares. “It is my fuckin’ business when it’s a dark goddamn cloud over the entire team. The two o’ you are bringin’ all of us down, and I’ve had about enough. Here’s what I think: I think you’re pissed about that piece o’ tech screwed into your back, and instead of talkin’ about why, you just shut down. I think Palmer tried to give you space, to get your head on straight, and then got pissed when you still refused to talk to him.”

 

It’s closer to the truth than Leo expected, and he looks at Hex in vague amazement.

 

“What?” Hex asks. “I got eyes, Snart. Ears, too. Can’t hide from nothin’ on this damn ship. Now, you’ll talk to me, or so help me, I will strand your ass here without a second goddamn thought.”

 

“You can’t do that,” Leo says without thinking. “The team won’t leave the Oculus behind.”

 

Hex’s eyes glitter, and Leo curses the fact that he picked up _speaking without thinking_ from Raymond. Of all the stupid habits…

 

“Don’t you mean that the team won’t leave _you_ behind?”

 

Leo sighs. “What use am I anymore? Just the Oculus, just to be plugged in, synced like a fucking smartphone, and then shoved over to the library, where I can’t get hurt. I’m too _valuable_.” Leo spits out the word like a curse.

 

“So that’s it?” Hex asks. “You’re pissed ‘cuz you’re a valuable member of the team, not for your charm and good looks, but for your _powers_?”

 

“You think I’m good looking?” Leo asks, deflecting.

 

Hex just laughs. “You’re a li’l shit, ain’t you?” He grins, the motion stretching the band of skin running across the corner of his mouth, turning the expression into a lopsided smirk. “Nah, there’s somethin’ else eatin’ at you. What is it?”

 

Leo bites his lip, staring down at his hands. He’s not really interested in opening up to Hex, no matter how much he likes the man.

 

“I meant it, about leavin’ you behind,” Hex says quietly. The way he says it, Leo believes every word.

 

“Fine,” he says. “When I first got my powers, I was scared that…ah, fuck it. I was scared that Rip would just plug me into Gideon and use me to steer the ship. I almost didn’t join back up because of it.”

 

“You…what? That’s the dumbest fuckin’ idea I ever heard.”

 

Leo snorts. “Well, look where we are now.”

 

“You meant permanently, though?” Hex asks, and Leo nods. “Snart, you’re a fuckin’ moron. I take it the beanpole knew about this fear o’ yours?” Leo nods again. “So that’s why you’re mad at him. You think your worst fears have come true, and Palmer’s partially to blame. You think that Rip—that the team is just using you to steer the damn ship.”

 

“Unless you can tell me that something else is going on, yeah.”

 

“I sure as hell can,” Hex growls, “and if you could get your head out of your ass for two goddamn seconds, you’d see it too. The team is _utilizin_ ’ your powers to help save the timeline. You’re an instrumental part of the team, but, you know, we actually managed without your powers up to this point. We could go back to doin’ it again.”

 

Leo’s laugh is more of a choked out sob. “So what do you even need me for? Just plug me in permanently and be done with it.” He winces as Hex whacks the back of his head.

 

“’Cuz you’re part of the team, you _goddamn moron_. Everyone likes you, ‘cept Heywood, dunno why—”

 

“He’s head over heels for Raymond,” Leo answers, automatically.

 

“Ah, that’d explain it. Well, everyone else, includin’ me, thinks you’re a right joy to have around. Or, we did, until this bullshit. You’re funny, you’re bright, you’re a snarky bastard. And I ain’t hittin’ on you here, neither of our lovers’d like that, but you’ve got charm that fills a room. As for your addition to the team, you’ve got a damn fine mind for strategy. You’ve made calls here, from this library, that’ve saved our asses. Out in the field, you’ve got right good aim, you’re quick on your feet, and I can always trust you to have my back. So no, we ain’t about to plug you into the Waverider and be done with it. You’re a part of the team, and you will be as long as you wanna be.”

 

Leo’s shocked into silence.

 

Hex continues, “You and Palmer make each other better. You bring him down to earth, and he buoys you up. Balance, and the like. Rip and I, we ain’t got that. We work _because_ we’re so similar; we work because we’re both stubborn jackasses who care too much for our own damn good. You and Palmer’ve both got the stubborn part down, but your balance will both make and break you. When it shifts, that’s when it all goes to hell. It shifted, and _you_ need to bring it back.”

 

“Why me?” Leo asks.

 

Hex shrugs. “’Cuz it’s your damn fault. Boy just tried to give you space, and instead of openin’ back up, you shoved him away.”

 

Leo blinks. “Have you talked to him about this?”

 

“Sure have,” Hex says, nodding. “He misses you.”

 

“I miss him, too,” Leo says, quietly, and is shocked to find that he means it. His eyes fill with tears and he blinks them away rapidly. Hex has to notice, but he stays silent, letting Leo work things out himself.

 

And, god, he really has been an idiot, hasn’t he? It’s not Raymond’s fault. Leo can only hate himself for saying yes.

 

The problem was always that Leo can’t hate himself when Raymond loves him so much. He can’t maintain the simmering anger, the raging fury at himself, when Raymond is right there, loving him so wholly.

 

Raymond makes Leo not hate himself. Leo hadn’t been able to stomach that; he’d _wanted_ to suffer, he’d wanted to ache.

 

“Fuck you, Hex,” he says, choking back sobs.

 

“Jonah,” Hex replies, rubbing a hand on Leo’s back, carefully avoiding the interface port. “Way I figure, if I call you a moron ‘nough times, you get to call me Jonah.”

 

Leo leans into the touch. “Jonah, then,” he says. “I guess you can call me Leonard, Jonah.”

 

Jonah grins at him, then snatches back the empty beer bottle and stands up. “I’ll go collect the beanpole, I suspect you’ll wanna talk to ‘im, now?”

 

Leo takes a deep breath. “Okay. And Jonah?” Jonah looks back, halfway out the door. “Thanks.”

 

Jonah nods, and slips out.

 

A few minutes tick by, and Leo tries not to hyperventilate. Why did he not just tell Hex—Jonah—that he’d just find Raymond himself, that he’d just drag Raymond to their shared bedroom and fuck it out instead.

 

But this was probably Jonah’s idea too; start them off in the library, so they at least have to talk about something. So they have to start with using their words.

 

Raymond walks in, the ATOM under-suit hanging off his shoulders, clinging to his hips. Leo takes it in, willing himself to not start drooling. He hasn’t looked at Raymond like this in weeks, and it hits him all at once. He licks his lips, and realizes that Raymond is just staring at him.

 

He has to say something, anything, and he half-freezes, half-panics, so what comes out is, “I can’t sleep through the night. I’m terrified, and I don’t know why.”

 

Raymond strides over, crossing the distance with a few long steps, and Leo knows his eyes linger on his boyfriend’s muscled form. Then Raymond is in his face, curling up in his lap as much as possible with being slightly larger than him, and wrapping arms around Leo’s neck. Raymond buries his face in the crook of Leo’s shoulder, and Leo shudders at the contact.

 

“Talk to me, my love,” Raymond says, and Leo almost loses it right there.

 

Instead, he takes a deep, shuddering breath, and starts talking. “I shouldn’t’ve said yes. I regret it every day. I feel so guilty because you were so excited about it, and you’re so proud of it, and I know you’re proud of me for dealing with my fears and saying yes, but I didn’t deal with my fears at all. I just pushed them aside and pretended they didn’t exist and now I’m terrified. I don’t think the team needs _me_ , Leonard Snart, anymore, I think they just need me as the Oculus and I hate that feeling so much.”

 

“Oh, _honey_ —”

 

Leo’s not done, and he cuts Raymond off, letting the words flow past his lips, pressed close to Raymond’s hair. “I wake up every night in terror, and I don’t even know why, but I think something bad is going to happen. I think it’s connected to the interface port, but I don’t know if it’s real or just my imagination running wild. The Oculus doesn’t either. It can’t give me anything more than this fucking terror. I know it’s trying to be helpful, but I’m exhausted all the time, even more than usual, and it’s driving me insane. I’m on high alert at all times. And I _miss you_ , Raymond, I fucking miss you, I miss fucking you, and I’m not even mad at you, because it’s my own fucking fault for saying yes, I just hate myself too much to let you love me right now—”

 

This time it’s Raymond cutting _him_ off, with a kiss that takes Leo’s breath away. It’s been weeks, but even without that, the kiss would floor him. Raymond kisses him deeply, hands tight on Leo’s shoulders, and Leo shudders. The world falls away, and all that’s left is Raymond, warm and heavy in his lap.

 

When Raymond breaks away, panting, all Leo can do is blink up at him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Raymond says, his big eyes wet.

 

Leo cups Raymond’s face, brushing at his cheek with a thumb, wiping any traces of tears leaking from his eyes.

 

“Me too,” Leo says. “I fucked up again, didn’t I?”

 

Raymond sighs. “We both did, I think.”

 

“Jonah tell you you’re a moron?”

 

“He asked you to call him Jonah, too?” Raymond asks and smiles lightly at Leo’s nod. “Yeah, he called me a moron. Called me a ‘fucking asshole’ too, actually.”

 

“He threatened to leave me behind if I didn’t stop being an idiot,” Leo says, with a ghost of a smile.

 

“Did he now?” Raymond asks. “Well, I would’ve stayed behind with you,” he says casually.

 

Leo feels his heart lift for the first time in a while. “Not worried about time drift?” he asks.

 

Raymond kisses him lightly. “I’m already in love with you, nothing else really matters.”

 

Leo can’t breathe for a second, and when he can, he feels like even more of an asshole for being a cranky bastard the past few weeks. “Fuck,” he says, “talk about big gestures.”

 

“Still freak you out?” Raymond asks.

 

“No. Just feel bad about hurting you.” Leo settles his hands on Raymond’s hips, rubbing circles with his thumbs against Raymond’s skin.

 

“Well, I can think of a good way for you to make it up to me,” Raymond says, unfolding from Leo’s lap and holding out his hands. Leo takes them, and Raymond pulls him in for a steamy kiss. Leo moans into it, before remembering that they’re out in the open.

 

“As happy as I’m sure the team will be at us making up, I’m sure they’d prefer we didn’t fuck in the library,” Leo says, half-pressed against Raymond’s mouth.

 

“Mmm, you’re probably right,” Raymond says, breaking apart enough to pull Leo back to their room.

 


	11. Shatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah splits his concentration, watching bullets bounce off the light pouring out of Snart. He sees the soldiers struggle, unable to touch, unable to land a hit. Jonah’s seen Snart’s powers in small doses, but nothing like this. The field is flooded in the light of the Oculus, in Snart’s light. From the looks on the faces of the rest of the team, none of them have seen anything like this either.
> 
> Even Palmer seems shocked, judging by the shrill tone of his voice as he screams at his lover, “Get the hell back here, Leo! What do you think you’re doing?!” Snart ignores him, making motions with his hands like he’s gathering strings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey did you guys know i love jonah hex? bc i love jonah hex, here's a chapter that's half jonah pov, enjoy!

Jonah’s on the front lines of the battle, shooting at wave upon wave of enemy soldiers with the laser guns Rip had gifted to him, back when he’d signed on to the crew. Rip, as usual, is at his side. Out of the corner of his eye, Jonah can see a look of gleeful determination on his lover’s face, and knows it’s mirrored in his own.

 

This is where they line up perfectly; off the battlefield, the two of ‘em snip and bite as much as they curl around each other in bed, but here? Here they are perfectly in tune.

 

The same cannot be said for Snart and Palmer. Even if the two of ‘em have reportedly made up, they still ain’t quite back to how they used to be. Jonah’s watched ‘em pull each other back these past few weeks, on the rare occasions Snart joins the team out in the field. Today certainly ain’t an exception to that, and Jonah hears Palmer yell over the comms as Snart wades into the stream of enemy combatants, glowing.

 

Jonah splits his concentration, watching bullets bounce off the light pouring out of Snart. He sees the soldiers struggle, unable to touch, unable to land a hit. Jonah’s seen Snart’s powers in small doses, but nothing like this. The field is flooded in the light of the Oculus, in Snart’s light. From the looks on the faces of the rest of the team, none of them have seen anything like this either.

 

Even Palmer seems shocked, judging by the shrill tone of his voice as he screams at his lover, “Get the hell back here, Leo! What do you think you’re doing?!” Snart ignores him, making motions with his hands like he’s gathering strings.

 

Jonah fires and ducks, narrowly missing catching a shot to the shoulder. He and Rip retreat slightly, for a bit more cover. Palmer starts flying in circles overhead, shooting at the soldiers around Snart, even though their attempts to injure the glowing man are still just bouncing off.

 

Wave after wave of soldiers pour out of the ship, and Jonah starts to think there’s some sort of technology enabling so many to fit in such a small space, like on that show Rip’s been showing him. Bigger on the inside, and all that.

 

Suddenly, Snart grabs the invisible bundle he’s got with both hands, and pulls, like he’s ripping something in two.

 

Everyone turns to dust in the time it takes Jonah to blink.

 

“What the fuck?” he hears himself say, and sees Rip turn white as a sheet beside him.

 

The next wave of soldiers, ready to pile off the ship, all stop. Jonah can see their heads turning, potentially listening to instructions from their commanding officer.

 

Snart drops his hands, legs planted firm. Eddies of dust swirl around him, dancing in the light.

 

“Well?” he asks, voice supernaturally loud: calm, not raised in a shout, but loud nonetheless. “Are you coming for me or not?”

 

The soldiers break, falling over each other in the rush to get back into the depths of their ship.

 

Palmer lands beside Snart in a tangle of limbs, clearly too upset to worry about his coordination. He leaves his comm on and the entire team can hear him start to yell, even over the roar of the engines of the enemy ship retreating.

 

“What did you just do, Leo?!”

 

The glow starts to fade as Snart answers him, still calm and steady, “I saved our asses. We were about to be overwhelmed. No way the ten of us—well, nine, if you count Firestorm as a single entity in the field—could’ve stood up to that many enemies. We’re good, but we’re not that good.”

 

Palmer tears his helmet off, and even from here Jonah can see that his face is bright red. “So you just threw yourself into the middle of them,” he yells, “without _backup_? You could’ve been killed!”

 

“I knew the Oculus would protect me,” Snart replies, matter-of-fact, as though it should be obvious. He and Palmer fall into step behind the rest of the team, trudging back to the ship.

 

“The Oculus!” Palmer sputters. “The thing that _caused your death in the first place_. That Oculus?” He sounds incredulous as he steps onto the ramp of the Waverider. They’ve all shut their comms off, but Jonah can hear their voices echoing through the hallways as the team makes their way to the bridge.

 

“Oh, yes, so sorry that the Oculus also brought me back to life and, by the way, created the shared dream space that brought us together after I came back. _That_ Oculus,” Snart replies, sarcasm dripping from every word.

 

Jonah is annoyed that the two men end up on the bridge, because that’s where the rest of the team is. Nobody can debrief about the mission when Snart and Palmer are yelling at each other, facing off in the doorway as if they’re the only ones there.

 

“You could’ve died today, Leo!”

 

“But I didn’t,” Snart yells back, “and there was no need for you to loom over me like that, I was _fine_!”

 

“Loom—” Palmer chokes. “Loom over you? You mean _fly overhead, protecting you_?”

 

“Whatever you want to call it!” Snart says, holding his ground. “I don’t need you mother-henning me in the field! I got enough of that from Team Flash, thank you very much! I can take care of myself!”

 

“You’ve gotten reckless, Leo! What happened to the meticulous planner I first met?”

 

Jonah can only watch in horror as Snart spits out, “He died, Raymond. Or do you not remember that? I _fucking died_.”

 

Palmer throws his hands up. “Of course I remember that! Are you kidding me, Leo? Of. Course. I. Remember. Sorry that I don’t want you to die again!”

 

“The Oculus brought me back to life once, what makes you think it can’t do it a second time?” Snart asks, stepping forward.

 

Palmer takes a step back in response. “I don’t know, Leo, do you know for sure it could do it again? Because I don’t! What if you get shot in the head before you can… _grab time_? What then?!”

 

Snart steps forward again, pinning Palmer against a wall and poking him in the chest with a finger. “I trust the Oculus and I expect you to as well, Raymond,” he says, with a sharp glare.

 

“Not when it makes you take _stupid fucking risks_!” Palmer shouts in response, finally pushing back against his lover.

 

“HEY!” Captain Lance shouts, stepping in between the two men and shoving them apart. “You wanna fight, do it privately! Not on the bridge where we are _trying_ to talk about the mission!”

 

Palmer huffs, and Snart glares. The two of them face off for a minute, the air between them buzzing with tension.

 

It’s Palmer who speaks first, his words short and sharp. “I’m gonna go patch up my suit.” Snart takes a step forward, to follow, but Palmer shakes his head. “I need space, Leo, leave me alone.” 

 

He stalks out, headed to the lab, leaving Snart looking lost in his wake. The team is silent, waiting for a potential blow-up from the man. Instead, Snart just turns and walks out in the direction of the room he shares with Palmer.

 

“ _Okay_ ,” the captain says, pinching the bridge of her nose in her fingers, “who’s checking up on Ray and who on Leonard? I don’t want either of them doing something stupid.”

 

“I’ll check on Ray,” Heywood volunteers, stepping forward.

 

Jonah puts a hand on his chest, stopping him. “No you ain’t,” he growls. “That’d make things worse between ‘em and you know it.” He remembers what Snart mentioned, about Heywood having feelings for Palmer, and he wants to keep that from causing any issues.

 

Heywood droops. The rest of the team looks on in confusion, unaware of the tension with Heywood and the unhappy couple.

 

“I’ll do it,” Rip says, cutting through the awkward moment with his usual stubbornness.

 

Jonah nods at him. “I’ll check on Leonard.”

 

Without listening to the team’s responses, Jonah heads to Snart’s room, snagging a bottle of whiskey from his and Rip’s room on his way. He knocks on Snart’s door, hearing a quiet shuffling on the other side.

 

“I ain’t him,” Jonah says as his greeting. “It’s just me.”

 

Snart opens the door. Jonah takes in the man’s red eyes, but decides not to comment. He silently holds out the bottle of whiskey instead. Snart takes it, uncapping it to take a swig directly from the bottle as he walks back into the room.

 

Jonah trails behind him, fighting the urge to grab the bottle back after Snart takes a third gulp before he even reaches the bed. The whiskey may have been a mistake, but it’s too late now. Luckily, Snart hands the bottle back by choice as Jonah sits down next to him on the bed. They pass it back and forth for a few minutes, not speaking.

 

“I get it,” Snart finally says, cutting through the quiet. “I know he’s mad at me because I scared him today, but…” He trails off, looking forlorn.

 

“But it still hurts?” Jonah asks after a moment.

 

“Like hell,” Snart replies, sounding bitter.

 

Jonah studies him. “You ain’t been through a fight like this before?” he asks, piecing together hints.

 

“No,” Snart says. “I mean, you saw our previous fight. Avoidance was the main theme of that. Otherwise, it’s all been snipping at each other, or differences of opinion. Not…”

 

“Screamin’ at each other on the bridge?” Jonah finishes.

 

“That. Yeah.” Snart takes another gulp of the whiskey before handing it back over. Jonah decides to hold on to the bottle for a minute, and Snart doesn’t seem to notice it’s not getting passed to him anymore.

 

Snart starts blinking rapidly and Jonah knows the feeling well. He knows what it’s like to keep your emotions bottled up inside, until you break.

 

He knows what it’s like to have the man you love be the reason you shatter.

 

If he and Rip can make it work, though, Leonard and Ray sure can.

 

Snart sniffles, wiping at his eyes surreptitiously under his glasses. “I hate this,” he mutters.

 

“Hmm?” Jonah prompts. He tries not to push; he’s not sure he’s really equipped to play counselor, but he does know that it’s best to let things out.

 

“I’m fucking _emotional_ ,” Snart growls. “He’s gotten me to open up about my feelings and now I can’t stem them. I can’t make them stop!”

 

Another feeling Jonah knows well. “Yeah, I get whatcha mean,” he says. “Bein’ around this team, they always want you to talk about your feelings. You get outta practice, eh, repressin’ ‘em.”

 

Snart lets out a sharp, humorless laugh. “Ain’t that the truth,” he says, picking up a hint of Jonah’s drawl, instead of his usual one. Jonah can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not, but Leonard seems to drop out of it quickly enough. “I just…I feel like I want to _talk_ this out.”

 

“Well, go ‘head. I ain’t gonna judge.” Snart looks surprised at his statement. “What?” Jonah continues, “You think Rip and I haven’t talked about how we feel? About how he left me in the lurch, to get half my face burnt off. About how he showed up on my doorstep five years later with a dead wife and a dead son who he named after me? Yeah, we’ve talked. There were even tears.”

 

“Really?” Snart gives a weak chuckle. “You? Tears?”

 

“Me,” Jonah replies, seriously.

 

Snart pulls a tissue out of the box next to the bed and buries his face in it, throwing his glasses on the bed beside him. “I’ve never been in love like this before,” he says, sniffling. “Or, at all, really.”

 

“Yeah, I can relate to that,” Jonah says quietly, handing over another tissue.

 

“All these _feelings_ keep bubbling up. I have to stop to process each one, and I don’t even know what they mean. They all feel like a punch in the chest. I can’t…I can’t pick them apart, but Raymond helps. He helps me figure them out. Make sense of them. And it’s been kind of okay when it’s just one or two at a time, but when he was yelling at me, it was like eight at once. I just shut down. Now that it’s quiet, they keep, I don’t know, hitting me.”

 

He stops to catch his breath, and Jonah puts a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I just,” Snart continues, “I don’t know why he stays with me.”

 

“What the hell you on about, Leonard? He loves you,” Jonah tells him.

 

“Yeah, Jonah, I know he does. What I don’t know is _why_. I’m a wreck. I’m harsh. I can be cruel and thoughtless. I don’t know what he’s getting out of this.”

 

“ _Leonard_ —” Jonah tries to say something, anything, to stop the spiral, but Snart seems to be too far down to pull back.

 

“I feel like a burden,” he spits out, glaring at the opposite wall like he can bore a hole in it.

 

Before Jonah can respond, the captain’s voice sounds out of the walls: “Hold on, everyone, I’m gonna jump us into the temporal zone.”

 

He and Snart quickly grasp onto the bars on the wall as the ship lurches into motion, and the familiar sensation of a time-jump hits.

 

Once they settle, Jonah’s glad he’s had a few seconds to think about what Snart just said. Jonah and Rip ain’t exactly models of a perfect relationship, and he doesn’t really have a frame of reference past that. So he just says, “I’m sure you ain’t a burden.”

 

“I wish I believed that,” Snart says.

 

Jonah shakes his head. “The way he looks at you, it ain’t like he’s bein’ weighed down.”

 

“Yeah, but, he’s _Raymond_. He’s a…ray of sunshine. I don’t think he could look like something was weighing him down. I’ve seen him smile with blood dripping out of his mouth, with bruises covering his face. I’ve seen him laugh with broken ribs. He never lets anything get him down for long. So how could I tell if I was dragging him down with me?” Snart snatches back the whiskey bottle and takes another gulp.

 

“You forget, I saw him when he was with the bird lady.”

 

“Kendra.”

 

“Yeah, her. It didn’t look like he was unhappy with her, but he sure as hell seems happier with you.”

 

Snart snorts, shaking his head.

 

The sound feels like a gut punch, and Jonah’s heart goes out to the other man. He knows what it’s like to hate yourself so much that you can’t believe anyone could actually love you. “I mean it, Leonard,” he says, trying to do something to lift Snart’s spirits. “He’s real happy with you. He loves you. I can see it when he looks at you.”

 

“Well isn’t that just the thing about Raymond? He loves with all of himself.” Snart laughs, harsh and short, pushing the whiskey bottle into Jonah’s hands. “You know, I thought it was naivety, when I first met him. How he trusted — how he _loved_ so quickly. I thought it was weakness.”

 

He’s silent for a minute, fiddling with one of his rings. Jonah’s about to prod Snart forward, when he speaks again.

 

“ _God_ , I thought he was pathetic. Those big brown eyes, welling up with tears at the slightest provocation. Then, I don’t know, I thought it was still a weakness, something to overcome. But, after being with him for a few months, after being forced to get in touch with my emotions, I. I know it’s strength. Being that open, that loving, with everyone takes so much strength. Love is _fucking terrifying_.”

 

“Shit,” is all that Jonah can say, but Snart keeps going.

 

“I’ve opened myself up to a select few people, and that’s scary enough. That’s hard enough. He’s open. To everyone. Constantly. It’s _exhausting_ , and it is so difficult. It takes so much out of you, loving.”

 

Jonah shakes his head. “Why does that make you think you’re a burden?”

 

“He’s carrying me, Jonah,” Snart says. “He’s supporting me with all his weight in this. I just. I don’t know what he’s getting back. He’s putting so much in and I don’t know what he’s getting out.”

 

“Your love?” Jonah asks, tentatively.

 

Snart looks at him, blinking owlishly through red eyes. “Is that enough?”

 

Jonah shrugs. “You’re askin’ the wrong man. You gotta ask him that. But from what I’ve seen, it looks like enough. After all,” he adds, “I don’t think he’d be this scared and angry if this relationship didn’t mean as much to him as it does to you.”

 

Snart shakes his head, and Jonah can tell this isn’t going anywhere. So he switches tactics.

 

“Palmer’s not perfect, you know,” he says, and Snart glares up at him through watery eyes.

 

“Excuse me?” he asks, his voice harsh.

 

There we go, Jonah thinks, that’s it.

 

“You talk about him like he’s never done anything wrong in his damn life, like he walks on water. That’s yer problem, Leonard, you keep forgetting that he’s human, too.”

 

“Raymond is—”

 

“A man,” Jonah cuts in. “A fallible man, who has his own issues, his own weaknesses. See, if you start to think o’ yer partner as perfect, if you start to _idolize_ him, you’re never gonna feel good enough. That’s no way to love someone, and it ain’t fair to him, either.”

 

“I don’t idolize him,” Snart mutters, but he sounds like he’s starting to doubt that, and Jonah takes that as a small win.

 

“Yeah ya do. But you just gotta remember that he’s human, just like you are.”

 

Snart just sighs, and Jonah figures he’s done.

 

“Okay, that’s enough,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Now yer just maudlin. Go talk to him.”

 

“He doesn’t wanna see me,” Snart replies.

 

“Sure he does. Gideon,” Jonah glances up, always unsure of where to look when talking to her, “how’s Rip doin’ with the beanpole?”

 

“They are sitting in silence while Dr. Palmer works on the ATOM suit,” Gideon responds.

 

“That’s terrible,” Jonah replies, not really to her, “Rip oughta be ashamed. You gotta go rescue yer poor lover.”

 

Snart sighs. “Fine.” He stands up, a bit unsteady, and snags a water bottle from the table next to his bed.

 

“I assume you know the way?” Jonah asks, leading Snart out into the hallway.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Snart walks off in the direction of the lab, leaving his glasses behind on his bed. Jonah watches him go, lamenting his apparent new role as ship’s counselor.

 

Nobody else has their shit together, Jonah’s noticed. They’re all awful at advice, at relationships, at talking. Not that Jonah is really a model in any of those, but at least he seems better than any of his other teammates.

 

Well, if he can make things run smoother on the ship, he’ll have done his job. Plus, it’s nice to have something that sets him apart from the rest, from Rip. Having two gunslingers ain’t anything special, but if Jonah can help in this way, at least he’s got something he adds to the team dynamic.

 

He shrugs, hoping that Snart gets his head outta his ass, and wanders back to the bridge.

 

—

 

Leo walks into the lab, and sees that Rip is indeed sitting silently, watching Raymond tinker with the ATOM suit.

 

“Well,” Rip says, catching sight of Leo and standing up, “I think that’s my cue to leave.” He walks out, brushing past Leo with a half-awkward pat on the shoulder.

 

Once he’s gone, Leo leans back unsteadily against the wall, following Raymond with his eyes. He’s not ready to talk yet, and it seems as though Raymond isn’t either.

 

Could Jonah be right? Does Leo worship Raymond, does he put Raymond up on a pedestal? Raymond annoys him sometimes, drives him crazy, makes him want to scream. But that’s all incidental, he realizes, as his eyes wander up and down his boyfriend’s muscled form, still clad in the ATOM under-suit. Those are only a few cases; otherwise, Leo thinks Raymond is made out of sunlight and puppies and love.

 

Ugh, Jonah is probably right. Raymond is only human, and Leo shouldn’t be so hard on himself.

 

That’s easier said than done, though, especially with a quarter of a bottle of whiskey going right to his head. This is why he doesn’t drink as much anymore, he thinks as he wobbles over to the bench and sits down heavily, resting his elbows on the shiny metal table.

 

Raymond looks at up that, with a questioning expression on his face.

 

“Jonah got me drunk,” Leo says, proud that his words are not as slurred as they could be.

 

“Ah,” Raymond says, and goes back to his suit.

 

Leo does not like being ignored, especially not when he’s already upset.

 

“I was trying to keep everyone safe,” he says, his voice coming out more pleading than he’d like. “I’m sorry that I scared you, but it’s the mission. Isn’t what we do the most important thing?”

 

Raymond sighs, still focused on his suit. “I know, Leo,” he says. “I know you were trying to keep us safe, but I’d appreciate you sharing your plans, or at least giving me a warning. I worry about you, I can’t help that.”

 

“Can you please look at me?” Leo asks, and it almost doesn’t come out in a whine. God, he is really drunker than he’d meant to get.

 

Raymond’s eyes do flick up, catching Leo’s gaze. Leo sees tears, threatening to spill out, and he feels his own eyes well up.

 

“We’re not past our last big fight, are we?” Leo asks. “You’re still upset with me for ignoring you, for shutting you out, and I’m still mad at you for not…I don’t know.”

 

“I don’t think we are,” Raymond says, putting down his tools and walking over. He straddles the bench and sits, facing Leo. “Leo, I love you, you know that, right?”

 

Leo nods. He knows. “But it’s not enough?” he asks, terrified of the response.

 

“What?” Raymond sounds vaguely horrified. “It absolutely is enough, oh my god, I’m not breaking up with you, honey.”

 

“You’re not?” Leo asks, relieved but confused.

 

“No,” Raymond replies, emphatically. “God, Leo, no.”

 

“Oh.” Leo takes a deep breath and fights back the tears, but he can’t stop words from spilling out. “Am I a burden?” He has to look away from the heartbroken expression on Raymond’s face.

 

“A burden? Oh, sweetheart—”

 

The words pour out, and Leo can’t stem them, can’t hold them in. “Well, it’s just, you get me to open up about my feelings and then I dump everything on you and you have to guess what emotion I’m feeling and usually you’re right but I can’t figure it out until you tell me what it is and I just feel like I don’t give you anything in return and that you don’t need me and I don’t know why you’re with me, I really—”

 

“Leo,” Raymond says, cutting him off and cupping his face gently, “you are not a burden. I _promise_.” He presses a light, quick kiss to Leo’s lips. Leo would love to sink into it, but he can’t focus on anything but his aching heart.

 

“What do I even bring to this relat—”

 

“Leo.” Raymond cuts him off again. “Stop that. Do you know how lost I was, when you…” he trails off, unable to say the word.

 

“Died?” Leo finishes, quietly.

 

Raymond winces, but nods. “Yeah. It felt like I lost a tether, and I didn’t even realize why. I still had my suit, I had the team, but it felt like I was floating, and not in a good way. I was well and truly lost. And then I lost my suit—”

 

“Wait, what?!” Leo half-yells, because Raymond hadn’t told him this, hadn’t shared this with him.

 

“Yeah, uh, I had to blow it up. Well, actually, Nate blew it up, it got in the hands of some bad people, but, anyway—”

 

Leo sees red. “I’ll kill him.”

 

“ _No_ , Leo. Look, I got my suit back, I was able to recreate it, and it’s fine, but in the meantime, Mick handed me the cold gun. _Your_ gun. And the important part is that, the second he put it in my hands, I felt like I could breathe again, for the first time since you died. I had an anchor. It still hurt, but I was able to open up, because I had this connection to you again. I was able to hold something close that was so completely yours and nobody else’s, but it was mine and I could…I could feel you, through it. And then I took it apart to diffuse a bomb—”

 

“What?!” Why has Raymond not told him any of this? Leo is fuming, or he would be, if his head wasn’t filled with so much fog.

 

Raymond looks sheepish. “Yeah. I know. But then I just couldn’t put it back together because it felt like me, at that point. Like I was so close to being connected to you, and still so far away and untethered. Because you started showing up in my dreams, at that point. And I thought it was because of the cold gun, I thought it was because I put your jacket on and I tried to _be_ you, I tried to replace you.”

 

Leo shakes his head, trying to clear the cobwebs, as Raymond continues.

 

“But that wasn’t what I should’ve done, I didn’t want to _replace_ you, I wanted to be at your side. And waking up alone every morning just made me feel more and more empty, even as I felt myself connecting with the team again, even when I was able to rebuild my suit. Even as I felt myself able to smile, able to make friends, able to laugh. I was so lonely, even though I was surrounded by the team. It was so difficult, having such strong feelings for a dead man. I felt, almost guilty? On the other hand, you were dead, so I figured you wouldn’t begrudge me a few, uh, sexual thoughts.” Raymond blushes slightly and ducks his head. “Well, more than a few.”

 

Leo snorts. “You’re right, I wouldn’t begrudge you that.”

 

Raymond nods, and leans forward to rest his head on Leo’s shoulder, his hands settling lightly on Leo’s waist. “The first dream that felt different, the one that I think was the first dream we shared, that was not my first dream about you after you died, and definitely not my first sex dream. Definitely not, uh, the first time I got off to the thought of you. _After_ you died, I mean.” Raymond blushes into the crook of Leo’s neck.

 

Sexual attraction has never been an issue for them, Leo thinks, so he doesn’t know why he’s surprised.

 

“So, when you showed up in the cargo bay, when I realized you were real, that’s why I didn’t hesitate. You were my anchor, Leo. And once I found you, once I learned that I could be with you, that I could tether myself to _you_ and not just to the memory of you, I felt like my feet touched the ground again.” Raymond smiles lightly, raising his head and pressing another quick kiss against Leo’s lips.

 

The words sink in slowly. He tethers Raymond…he’s an anchor…it’s all so overwhelming and he’s exhausted from today, and he’s drunk, and he’s just so goddamn emotional.

 

Leo sniffs, then breaks. Hiccuping sobs force their way up his chest as he buries his face in Raymond’s chest.

 

Raymond shifts around, tucking Leo’s head under his chin and wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriend. “Oh, sweetheart. My love, it’s okay. Let it out, that’s good.”

 

Leo can’t remember ever crying like this, not since he was a child. Not since his father yelled at him to stop crying because, ‘real men don’t cry.’ Even if he’d been five, and nowhere near becoming a man.

 

He feels safe, here in Raymond’s arms. And he does have to admit, he’s starting to feel better. He’s heard that crying is good for you, that it helps release and process emotions, but he hadn’t believed it. He does now.

 

“Sorry for getting snot on your shirt,” Leo says after a few minutes, thick through his waning tears.

 

Raymond smiles against his head. “My love, you come inside me on almost a daily basis, I think I can handle a little snot.”

 

Leo laughs wetly. “Thanks for making that sound gross.” He pulls back and Raymond goes to find a tissue, handing it to him. Leo wipes his eyes and blows his nose and Raymond collects him back into the hug again, pressing light kisses to his temple, his hairline, the top of his head, his cheekbone. Leo feels like he might just be okay after all.

 

That’s how the Time Masters find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Ruth for betaing this chapter and helping me figure out what i want to do with the second half!


	12. Kidnapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The woman smiles, menacing behind a layer of sickly sweetness. “I’m here to rescue you, Oculus,” she says, her attention focused on Leo. 
> 
> “I don’t need rescuing,” Leo spits out, slowly shifting to move his body in front of Raymond’s. The Time Master—because that has to be what she is, the familiar olive green of her clothes a clear indicator—has her gun out and trained on Raymond, and Leo needs to get in between her and him.

“Oculus,” comes an unfamiliar voice from the doorway. Leo and Raymond jump up, each of them immediately reaching for a weapon that isn’t there, a suit that’s just a little bit too far away to be of any use. A tall woman stands there, a high-tech gun pointed at them. Well, at Raymond.

 

“Who are you?” Raymond asks, as Leo just tries to stop his head from spinning.

 

The woman smiles, menacing behind a layer of sickly sweetness. “I’m here to rescue you, Oculus,” she says, her attention focused on Leo.

 

“I don’t need rescuing,” Leo spits out, slowly shifting to move his body in front of Raymond’s. The Time Master—because that has to be what she is, the familiar olive green of her clothes a clear indicator—has her gun out and trained on Raymond, and Leo needs to get in between her and him.

 

“We’d heard a rumor that your powers were different in the temporal zone, but we weren’t sure until we were able to get the drop on the Waverider,” she continues, still directing her words at Leo and ignoring Raymond—except to keep her gun trained on him. “We’ve already eliminated the threat of your so-called team, so if you’ll just come with me, we can avoid any loss of life.”

 

“Eliminated?” Raymond asks, worried. “But they’re not dead?”

 

“Just out of commission,” the Time Master responds, sparing barely a glance at him, “we’re not _monsters_.”

 

“Okay, then you can leave,” Leo says, steadying himself with a hand on Raymond’s shoulder, half-stepping in front of his boyfriend. “If you’re not monsters, then leave us alone.”

 

“Hmm,” the Time Master says, making a big show of considering. “No, I don’t think so. Come with us, or I _will_ shoot that tall drink of water you’re trying to protect, and this time it won’t be the nice kind of elimination.”

 

“So much for not being monsters,” Raymond mutters. “There are two of us and only one of her,” he continues softly, but this only makes the Time Master laugh.

 

“Yes, and the Oculus is clearly drunk, and you’re nothing without your suit, aren’t you, ATOM? Go ahead, try it, I dare you. Let’s see how the two of you fare against little old me.”

 

Leo steps forward, fully in between her and Raymond, furious. “Fine. You’re right about me, I’m drunk. But don’t you _dare_ say anything like that about Raymond again.”

 

She just laughs again. “Are you done posturing? Let’s go.” She gestures with her gun in the direction of the hallway.

 

There’s no way out of this that Leo can see. The Time Master has never once pointed her gun at Leo, which he takes to mean that she would not kill him even if he tried to goad her into it. And if he resists, he risks losing Raymond. He can survive many things, but he’s not sure he could survive that. With Raymond safe, there’s also the chance that Leo could be rescued, one day. “Okay,” he says, his voice sounding hollow, the word hanging in the air.

 

“Leo, no,” Raymond says, coming up behind him and grabbing his arms.

 

“Let me go, Raymond,” Leo says, trying to shrug out of Raymond’s grasp. “We can’t win this one.”

 

Raymond holds fast. “I won’t. They’ll have to kill me.”

 

“I can do that,” the Time Master says, and shoots.

 

Time slows. Leo can feel the Oculus rearing up inside him, flaring out in an agonizing burst. He _can’t_ do this in the temporal zone, he can’t, but he _does_ , he stops the deadly beam of light before it hits Raymond dead between the eyes. And then he’s on the ground, panting, his throat sore from the scream that had forced its way out of him, his entire body aching from the Oculus stretching itself to its limit.

 

Raymond quickly crouches down and gathers Leo in his arms. The Time Master looks both terrified and gleeful, probably because his powers are beyond her wildest dreams, but also because Leo is now officially out of commission.

 

“If you kill him,” Leo gasps out, “I will gladly follow him into death.”

 

“Leo—” Raymond starts, but the Time Master cuts him off.

 

“Bring him along, then. This could make things easier, now I don’t have to carry you myself. Pick the Oculus up,” she commands Raymond, her gun still pointed at his face. “I don’t think you can stop a second one,” she continues to Leo, and she’s right.

 

Leo’s powers feel like they’re a million miles away. He pokes at the Oculus, but only gets a slight shudder in response. They’ve both gone too far, but at least Leo gets to keep Raymond, as he marches to his own personal hell. At least Raymond is still alive.

 

For now.

 

Leo has no doubt about what the Time Masters want him for. He has no doubt that they want to plug him in, to use him to view and control the timeline. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t more terrified than he’s ever been. All his worst fears are finally coming true, and now he knows why he’s been waking up in a cold sweat the past few months. The Time Masters have found him, and he’s _fucked_.

 

Raymond supports him through the silent hallways, and other Time Masters join their slow progression to the other ships that are apparently surrounding the Waverider. They all inform the Time Master who found Leo and Raymond, who is apparently named Brenna, of their results in fighting and incapacitating the rest of the Legends.

 

“Good work,” Brenna tells each of them, and they congratulate her on capturing the Oculus in turn.

 

That’s all he is now, apparently. The Oculus. Plug him in and get it over with, he wants to say, but he thinks his mouth stopped working a hallway ago. The only thing keeping his eyes open are Raymond’s arms, strong and steady and wrapped around him. He thinks if he can just focus on them, that everything else will fall away. Maybe this is all a dream, a bad dream, brought on by too many nights half-asleep from unshakable terror.

 

If this was a dream, he would probably hurt a lot less, though. So, it’s real—it’s real and maybe this is the end of everything. If it is, at least he’s got Raymond at his side.

 

That’s his last thought before his consciousness winks out and he falls into nothingness.

 

—

 

Leo wakes up in an upright position, and he can feel handcuffs looping around his wrists. He opens his eyes to the familiar sight of a jump-ship and, thankfully, to Raymond seated across from him. As soon as Raymond notices that Leo is awake, he tries to get up, straining against his own sets of handcuffs.

 

“Are you okay, love?” Raymond asks, his eyes raking over Leo’s face.

 

“I don’t know,” Leo says, his voice hoarse. “You?”

 

Raymond nods. “I’m okay. We’re almost there, I think.”

 

“Where?”

 

Brenna walks over, her eyes glinting. “Our base. We’ve found another pocket outside of time, since _you_ ,” she glares at Leo, “destroyed the usability and sanctity of the last one.” She leans forward to check Leo’s pulse, examining him like he’s a farm animal. He resists the urge to snap out and try to bite her. That would probably end badly for him, and he’d rather save his strength, wait for an opportunity.

 

Instead, Leo blinks rapidly to try to chase away the fog, and finds that, besides a headache, he’s no worse for the wear. His powers are still too far away to access, though. “The Vanishing Point can go to hell,” Leo growls once Brenna removes her hand from holding his head in place, “and so can you.”

 

“Ooh, feisty!” Brenna says, laughing. “We’ll soon fix that.” She winks, and turns back to the front of the ship.

 

Leo meets Raymond’s eyes again, and finds a modicum of hope in them. “I love you,” he says, wanting to reach out, wanting to be wrapped once again in his boyfriend’s arms.

 

“I love you, too,” Raymond replies, and he strains against his restraints, wiggles around until he’s half on the floor, so he can reach out his legs and touch them against Leo’s. Leo has never been more thankful for Raymond’s ridiculously long legs as he reaches his own legs out, interlocking their ankles. It probably looks ridiculous, but Leo can’t bring himself to care; the touch is giving him more comfort than he’d thought possible.

 

In what feels like no time at all, they reach the new Vanishing Point, which Brenna refers to only as Horizon. It’s a lot smaller than the Vanishing Point had been, and seems to be more hastily constructed than anything; with parts of it unfinished and blocked off only by what seems to be an air-shield. Leo thinks it would be a lot easier to mount a sneak attack here, and he only hopes the Legends can find where he and Raymond have been brought.

 

Once they dock, a horde of Time Masters flow onto the ship and grab Leo. Only two stand guard over Raymond, as the rest unlock Leo’s restraints and start to cart him off.

 

“Hey! Where are you taking him?” Raymond shouts, as Leo struggles ineffectually against the Time Masters.

 

Nobody answers, so Leo tries his luck. “What are you gonna do with Raymond?”

 

Still, there’s no response as they pull Leo off the ship, and he can’t even catch a glimpse of Raymond as he’s carried away.

 

They take him to a room that looks like it was originally supposed to be a hangar for timeships. Instead, it’s filled with desks covered with futuristic screens, glowing blue and white in an eerie mirror of the Oculus. Then his eyes focus on the dark space at the far side of the room, and his blood runs cold.

 

It should be a plain medical gurney, but it’s been modified to have that shiny metal restraint bar at the top that Leo knows so well from his time on the Waverider. To add to that, cuffs, which are thankfully lined with fabric, are positioned where someone’s—his—hands and feet would be—will be. Topping it all off is a helmet-shaped device, with wires sloughing off of it.

 

As the Time Masters bring him closer, he can make out needles sticking inward in the helmet, along with screws to presumably attach it to his head.

 

“Thought you guys would have something neater by now,” he ponders aloud, trying to mask his terror.

 

“This is only the first version,” a male Time Master in a lab coat says, moving out from one of the computers and approaching Leo. “Now that we have you, in the flesh, we will be able to construct a much better, and yes, neater version. We were flying blind without you, our Oculus.”

 

Leo growls, and feels a tiny bit better when one of the Time Masters restraining him flinches. “I’m not yours,” he spits out.

 

The Time Master just hums and waves his hand at the gurney. “Secure them.”

 

Them? Leo wonders at his choice of pronoun. He doesn’t think the Time Masters are going gender-neutral, although he’d hope that gender fluidity would be more accepted by the 22nd century. No, Leo thinks they’re referring to him and the Oculus collectively.

 

He struggles ineffectually as the horde of Time Masters surrounding him drop him down onto the cot and secure him in place. They’ve done a good job preparing: there’s almost no wiggle room, and Leo can barely twitch. He can move his head, though, but he’s sure even that won’t last long.

 

The Oculus pokes at him, once, briefly, and then scatters. Leo still feels it, hiding deep in his cells like a virus, softly pulsing with each beat of his heart. But his eyes clear, and his headache lifts. If this didn’t make the entire rest of his body ache, he’d suggest the Oculus do this more often, to give his head a break. But it feels like pins and needles, and Leo grits his teeth against the pain.

 

Better this than giving them ultimate power, though. Better he be in pain than give them what they want.

 

He stays still as they place the helmet over his head, screwing it tight against his skull before pushing each needle in, one by one. So much for his head not hurting.

 

“Okay,” the scientist Time Master says, outward to the room, “turn it on.”

 

Someone flips a switch, and Leo feels the energy coursing through his brain, searching and peeking through his neurons.

 

_The Oculus isn’t home right now_ , he thinks with a vindictive glee, even as the force threatens to overwhelm him and knock him out.

 

“Turn it off!” shouts the Time Master. “Someone tell me what the hell is going on!”

 

Leo smirks, and that’s all the other man needs.

 

“Ah, so it’s you?” he asks, slowly approaching the gurney. “Whatever you’re doing, stop it.”

 

Leo makes a show of considering, before meeting the man’s eyes, steady and sure. “No, I don’t think I will.”

 

“There will be consequences.”

 

Leo tries to shrug, but his restrains hold in place a little too much for it to be in any way effective. So instead he says, “Do whatever you want to me. You’ll never get the Oculus.”

 

The Time Master smiles at him, slow and eerie. “Whoever said I would do anything to _you_ , Oculus? Bring him in!” he calls to the front of the room.

 

Raymond is marched in, stuck in between a handful of large Time Masters, who are still slightly dwarfed by Leo’s boyfriend. That sight doesn’t give him hope; instead, he realizes what a mistake it was to let them bring Raymond along. He was thinking of Raymond as his hope, as his rock. He didn’t realize Raymond was their leverage. Stupid, stupid, he’s never drinking again, if he gets out of this he’s never letting Jonah fucking Hex get him drunk off stupidly old whiskey ever again.

 

“Release the Oculus,” the scientist Time Master says, gesturing the others to bring Raymond closer.

 

“Don’t do it, Leo,” Raymond says, his eyes hard and determined. “No matter what, don’t give it to them.”

 

“Break his arm,” the Time Master commands, and the men around Raymond obey, before Leo can even open his mouth to protest.

 

There’s a loud crunch and Leo hears Raymond scream. The sound echoes painfully in Leo’s ears until he realizes that he’s screaming too, in sync with Raymond. The Oculus flares up, angry and protective, and the Time Masters flip the switch.

 

And then all Leo sees is white.

 

—

 

Ray slumps against the bodies surrounding him, cradling his shattered arm. He hasn’t taken his eyes off Leo, who is surrounded in the gently pulsing light of the Oculus. Time Masters flow around the computers, talking about data points and new information and timeline changes. Ray would try to focus on that, to gleam any information he can from them, but his blood is pounding in his ears, louder than any of their voices.

 

“I think I’m gonna pass out,” Ray hears himself mutter, and then he’s loaded onto a stretcher and wheeled away. “No, no, Leo,” he pleads, but he’s studiously ignored.

 

His gaggle of Time Masters has shrunk down to three, and Ray wishes they saw him as more of a threat. He knows he can’t take out one of them with no suit and a broken arm, let alone three, so he lies still. They wheel him into a bright, clean room that he recognizes as a med-bay, and hand him off to someone he assumes is a doctor.

 

“Hello,” the man says, “I’m Jasper. You must be Dr. Palmer.” Ray just blinks at him. “Hmm, seems like you’re going into shock, let’s get you fixed up.” Despite his smaller stature, Jasper easily gets Ray onto the med-bay cot before slipping a handcuff onto the wrist of his non-broken arm. “Can’t have you running off on us,” he says, winking. “Who knows what you’ll run into on Horizon.”

 

The familiar soothing light of the Time Masters’ healing device plays over his arm, and Ray can’t help let out a small sigh of relief.

 

Jasper hums. “A neat break, good. We wouldn’t want you to lose functionality in that hand. If I were them, I’d’ve broken your leg instead. After all, what’s an inventor with only one usable arm? Unfortunately, some injuries aren’t fixable, despite the technology we have here.”

 

“You seem nice,” Ray says, through a wave of pain from his bone knitting back together. “How can you be so calm about this?”

 

“About what?” Jasper asks, his voice merely curious.

 

“About the fact that you guys kidnapped me and my boyfriend, hooked him up to a machine without his consent, and broke my arm to get him to cooperate.” Ray is rambling slightly, talking to distract himself from his arm.

 

Jasper shakes his head, eyes bright. “You, we maybe kidnapped, and I am sorry about that. It seems as if Brenna was just attempting to make the best of a tough situation. After all, the Oculus seems very attached to you. Who would we be to separate you from each other?”

 

“You kidnapped Leo, too,” Ray reminds the man.

 

“No,” Jasper responds, sounding sure of himself, “the Oculus is our property. Can’t kidnap something that belongs to you already.”

 

Ray stares, aghast. “He’s a person!” he protests. “A human being! He’s not your property!”

 

Jasper laughs lightly, as though Ray has just told a moderately funny joke. “He stopped being human the second he let the Oculus reconstitute him into that corporeal form he now inhabits. Oh yes, we know what happened,” the doctor says to Ray’s surprised expression. “We’ve collected enough data over the last few months to know exactly what happened, and how. The only things we don’t know are how to separate him from the Oculus, and what happens to the Oculus when he dies. Hopefully we’ll have those answers soon, though.”

 

There’s nothing Ray can say to that; his mind’s gone blank. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, before settling on: “The Legends will find us, and you’ll never have an answer to that question.”

 

Jasper cocks his head. “Did Brenna not tell you?” he asks, and his face takes on a sympathetic expression. “Oh, I assumed you knew. Brenna cut off continued access to the life support systems as she left your ship. I don’t condone it, of course, but it’s the kinder option. Gives them a fighting chance and, if they don’t make it, well, the ships are designed to make full life support failure quick. It runs perfectly until the very last second, so there’s very little suffering. I do hope your team makes it, of course. I am a doctor, I value human life. But, well, that’s why Brenna was chosen for this mission and not me. She does what needs to be done.”

 

Oh, god. Ray can’t breathe for a second, with the weight of what Jasper just said bearing down on him. Jasper smiles sadly at him, and then turns the medical machine off.

 

“Okay, you’re all set. Lex, Harrison,” he calls into the hallway, “please take Dr. Palmer to his quarters.”

 

The two Time Masters come into the room and collect Ray. He goes willingly, not even saying goodbye to or thanking Jasper. Things really are bleak, and he feels any hope he had of rescue slipping away, like the life support of the Waverider. He only hopes that his death will be as quick as the deaths of his teammates, and that he does everything he can for Leo before that happens.

 

He’s led to a room that’s laid out like a nice apartment: dining area, full kitchen, large bedroom with a decent sized bathroom.

 

“This is the room you will share with the Oculus,” one of the Time Masters (Lex, Ray thinks) tells him. “Make yourself at home, and don’t hesitate to ask for anything. Oh, and remember, we’re watching you,” she says, pointing to a camera, inset into the wall. “And there are microphones in the bedroom and bathroom. We’d rather not watch you there, but if you misbehave, we will.”

 

She and Harrison walk out, shutting the door firmly. Ray hears a lock click into place, and knows he’s shut in.

 

He walks into the bedroom, his footsteps echoing hollowly in his ears. Then he all but falls on the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around a pillow and muffling his face in it so the Time Masters don’t hear the sobs wracking his body.

 

The team is most likely gone, nobody knows where he is, and Leo is going to be their lab rat. And to top it all off, the Time Masters are not above using Ray as leverage. He doesn’t mind that they’re more willing to hurt him than Leo; Ray would gladly take the pain if it means Leo doesn’t have to. But he also knows how much it hurts Leo to see Ray injured.

 

There had been a sliver of hope; that the Legends would never stop looking for them, that they’d find Ray and Leo eventually. They can’t do that if they’re dead, and Ray feels his faith in an eventual rescue slipping away.

 

He and Leo will just have to find their salvation in each other, as much as they can, for as long as they can.

 

God, fighting with Leo seems so long ago, now. It seems like years, not hours, have passed since they were yelling at each other on the bridge; months since Ray had sat in the lab with a silent Rip, mulling over his boyfriend’s reckless decisions.

 

The endless day takes its’ toll on Ray, and he slips off into sleep, tears still leaking from his eyes.


	13. Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What did they do to you_ , Ray wants to ask, but he can guess the answer well enough.

Ray wakes up to the sound of an opening door. He hadn’t bothered to shut the door into the bedroom, so he hears the click of the front door all the more clearly. Plus, the shuffling footsteps and low snarls coming from the main room would’ve woken him up regardless.

 

He jumps up and rubs at his eyes as he strides out of the bedroom. When he passes the threshold, he catches sight of Leo struggling in the arms of two Time Masters. Leo’s eyes are wide and wild and more bloodshot than Ray has ever seen them. The Time Masters are trying to hold him steady as he thrashes and tries to shake himself loose from their grasp.

 

“Hey, Leo,” Ray says, trying to sound calm as he steps forward. Leo growls as the Time Masters drop him and tries to lunge at them, but Ray grabs hold, wrapping his arms around his currently feral boyfriend.

 

“He’s your problem now,” one of them says, and they hastily make their escape.

 

“Leo, _Leo_ ,” Ray says, tightening his grip and ignoring the aching coming from his just-broken arm which has apparently turned a lovely shade of purple in the last few hours while he slept.

 

Suddenly, Leo goes still, and his hand goes to his mouth. Ray knows this cue, and he tugs at Leo, bringing him quickly into the bathroom. He barely gets Leo to the toilet in time, as Leo heaves and vomits what little there was in his stomach. It’s mostly bile, Ray notes as he rubs comforting circles on Leo’s back, muttering soothing words under his breath until Leo sits back on his heels, looking dazed.

 

“Where am I?” he asks, his voice thick.

 

_What did they do to you_ , Ray wants to ask, but he can guess the answer well enough.

 

“We’re at the Time Masters’ new base, called Horizon,” Ray says instead. “You’ve been plugged into their interface all day, I think. I mean, I don’t actually know what time it is, or how long you’ve been gone, but I think it was a few hours.”

 

“It was six hours,” Leo croaks out. “They told me when they unplugged me.” He falls back, letting his momentum carry his body down to the floor, until he’s sprawled out on his back, half in the bathroom and half out. “ _Fuck_ ,” he says, his chest rising and falling heavily, his eyes screwed shut.

 

“You okay?” Ray asks, tentatively.

 

“Nope,” Leo replies, short and sharp.

 

“Sorry,” Ray says, feeling sheepish. Of course Leo isn’t okay, he should’ve known.

 

But Leo shakes his head, his eyes still closed. “Not your fault. I’m just regretting every single decision I’ve ever made.” He opens his eyes, then, meeting Ray’s gaze. “Except for you. I don’t regret you. Everything else, though…” He trails off, letting his eyes flutter shut again.

 

Ray stretches out beside Leo on the floor, curling up against his side. It’s not the most comfortable position, but Ray doesn’t care. He rests his hand lightly on Leo’s chest, and Leo covers Ray’s hand with his own.

 

They stay like that for a while; Ray curled up against Leo’s side, his face nuzzled in the crook of Leo’s neck. All the while, Ray is having a silent battle with himself. Should he tell Leo what Jasper told him, about the team? Should he tell Leo that the team is most likely dead, that nobody is coming for them, that they’re alone? That there’s no chance of rescue, there’s only this?

 

He doesn’t want Leo to have false hope, but he doesn’t want to shatter Leo, either. Leo has hope right now, even if it’s a small glimmer, and Ray doesn’t want to take that away from him. At the same time, Ray doesn’t want to lie to Leo, doesn’t want to keep secrets from his boyfriend.

 

Ray chances a glance at Leo’s face, and sees pain written all over it.Well, he can always tell Leo later.

 

“You know,” Ray says, “this might be more comfortable on the bed.”

 

Leo groans and tries to sit up. It’s a struggle, so Ray helps, sliding his hand between Leo’s shoulder-blades and lifting. The light shifts, playing around Leo’s head, and Ray can make out bruises across his scalp. Ray reaches out a hand to touch, but Leo hisses and bats his hand away.

 

“We should get you to the med-bay,” Ray says, helping Leo stand in front of the sink to brush his teeth and gargle half a bottle of mouthwash.

 

Leo spits, the green liquid swirling down the drain. “Already been to the med-bay,” he says, pouring more mouthwash into the cap of the bottle. “This is the healed result.”

 

“Shit,” Ray says, dread in the pit of his stomach. “Are they gonna use this on you every day?” he asks, worried that repeated exposure will injure Leo beyond repair, but Leo shakes his head, once again spitting into the sink and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

“Once every few days, they said.” Leo turns around to bury his face in Ray’s chest, his hands coming up to clutch at the back of Ray’s shirt.

 

“Oh, honey,” Ray says, holding Leo tight, feeling Leo shake against him. At least this helps make up Ray’s mind: he’s not going to tell Leo of the possibility that the team is dead and not coming for them. Leo is broken enough already.

 

Leo starts to slip down to the floor again after a few minutes of muffled crying into Ray’s shirt, so Ray pulls back, leading Leo into the bedroom.

 

“Let me get you some water, and maybe make you some soup?” Ray suggests, and Leo nods, curling up in bed and cocooning himself in blankets and pillows. “Oh, and, uh, just so you know, they told me there’s a camera out in the main room, and microphones in here and in the bathroom, so they’re uh, keeping an eye on us,” Ray warns him.

 

Leo nods. “I figured they would,” he responds, and his eyes flutter shut once more.

 

So Ray goes out into the kitchen, poking around at its contents. He manages to find a glass, filling it with water and bringing it over to Leo before heading back to dig up some soup. There’s a fridge, but it’s pretty empty, so Ray shuffles things around until he finds the food replicator hidden behind a sliding panel. It’s a different model than they have—had—on the Waverider, but it seems to work similarly enough that Ray is able to get a bowl of soup for Leo and a sandwich for himself.

 

The soup may be a bit difficult to eat in bed, Ray thinks as he collects silverware, but he’s also not going to force Leo out of bed to eat it. They’ll just have to have good balance. Not that Ray is practiced at eating dinner in bed…

 

Leo is passed out when Ray walks back into the bedroom. Damn. Ray really wants to let Leo sleep but, at the same time, Leo hasn’t eaten anything all day. He sets the soup and his sandwich down on the bedside table and sits down at the edge of the bed to gently shake Leo awake.

 

“Mmm?” Leo asks, groggy.

 

“Hey, I need you to eat something, love,” Ray tells him, softly.

 

Leo rubs his eyes and blinks up at Ray. “Hi,” he says, his eyes soft.

 

Ray’s heart skips a beat. “Hi,” he says back, leaning down to kiss Leo lightly. Leo lets out a soft, content noise, reaching his hands up to cup Ray’s face and bring him in closer. Ray half-falls on top of Leo, twisting his body around so he can cover Leo’s body with his own.

 

The cocoon of blankets is still between them, and Ray has a distant thought that he should probably actually make Leo eat, but Leo’s hands are tight on his waist, thumbs slipping up under his shirt to caress his skin.

 

“Want you,” Leo mutters into Ray’s mouth, his hands slipping further up Ray’s shirt. “Need to feel you, need you to ground me.” Leo keeps muttering as he pushes Ray off, throwing the blankets away and stripping off his own shirt, followed immediately by his pants. Ray copies him, slipping out of his clothes as quickly as he can so he can get back to touching Leo.

 

The second he’s fully naked, Ray pulls a similarly naked Leo against him. Their lips meet again, more frantic this time, as their legs tangle together and their hips connect, sending waves of pleasure through Ray as they thrust against each other. They haven’t had time to search for or replicate lube, and neither of them wants to stop to look for it, so it’s just going to be handjobs for now. Ray doesn’t mind; he likes this almost as much as he likes Leo fucking him.

 

Ray takes control, spitting quickly into his palm for a bit of moisture before wrapping his hand around both of their cocks. Leo moans into his mouth, fingertips digging into Ray’s back. Ray moves his hand at a steady pace, his entire body tingling as he and Leo move together, wrapped around each other, kissing like the world is ending.

 

And maybe it is.

 

But at least they have this, at least they have each other.

 

When Ray comes, it takes him by surprise; one second he’s panting into Leo’s mouth, the next he’s seeing stars as he spills out over his own hand and Leo’s stomach. He pauses to catch his breath and Leo whines, rolling his hips against Ray’s hand.

 

“Needy, aren’t you?” Ray asks softly, laughing. He obeys Leo’s unspoken command, though, quickening the pace of his hand until Leo comes too, biting down a little too hard on Ray’s lower lip. “Ow,” Ray says, and Leo presses a soft kiss against the stinging lip, his breath hot against Ray’s mouth.

 

“Sorry, darling,” Leo says, snuggling up against Ray.

 

Ray wraps his arms around his boyfriend, pulling them flush together. “It’s okay,” he says, “I’ve had worse bites.” He kisses the top of Leo’s head, and feels Leo’s lips curve into a smile against his chest.

 

“We’ll get through this,” Leo says, and it almost doesn’t sound like a question.

 

“Yeah,” Ray murmurs, trying to sound sure of himself. He’s not sure he succeeds, but Leo doesn’t comment. Then he remembers the food. “Hey, you up for eating?” he asks.

 

Leo hums. “I guess.”

 

Ray peels himself reluctantly away from Leo and hands him the lukewarm soup, before wandering off to the bathroom for a damp cloth to clean them off.

 

“Mmm, full service,” Leo jokes as Ray sits down on the edge of the bed to clean the come off Leo’s stomach.

 

“Always,” Ray replies, with a wide grin. Leo smiles back over his spoonful of soup.

 

It’s nice, for a second, to pretend. To pretend they’re okay, that they’ll be fine, that they’ll get through this whole and sane and together. They might be together, but they’re not getting through this.

 

Ray curls up against Leo’s side to eat his sandwich, trying to just enjoy the moment and not think about the future. He somewhat succeeds. It’s enough, at least, to carry him through dinner in bed. When they finish, they place their empty plate and bowl on the bedside table, and Leo’s eyes close yet again.

 

Ray is wide awake, but he holds Leo close, lets Leo fall asleep tucked in his arms. His mind whirls, trying to think of a solution, of anything to get them out of this. He keeps coming up blank, and he’s frustrated when he finally gives up and sinks into sleep.

 

—

 

The days pass in a blur. Leo is used to time being weird from having lived on a timeship for so long, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t welcome the break from it when they left the time stream. Here, time is more or less irrelevant. That doesn’t mean he and Raymond don’t have a clock, a schedule, some semblance of a calendar to track how long they’ve been there. (Raymond keeps track, Leo doesn’t). And Leo has his own rhythm to judge the passage of time by.

 

It’s three days off, one day on.

 

Three days to curl up against Raymond and read a book, to watch as Raymond sketches designs for a new interface port so the Time Masters don’t have to keep using their unsightly helmet thing. Three days to try to forget why he’s there, to try to breathe through the constant undertone of terror and frustration and hopelessness.

 

And then one day on.

 

One day hooked up to a machine that slowly gets less and less invasive physically, but never ceases to be mentally invasive. Never ceases to bring back the headaches, the nausea, the never-ending pain.

 

He’d stop eating, if only Raymond didn’t force him to choke down at least one meal a day, preferably two. It’s not that he wants to starve, it’s just that he doesn’t feel hunger anymore. His stomach always churns, and half the time it rejects the food anyway.

 

He knows he’s sloughing off weight like he’s a lizard shedding its skin, and he knows Raymond is worried sick, but he can’t do anything about it. The Time Masters don’t seem to care that they’re slowly killing him, and he’s vindictive enough that he’s of half a mind to let them. The only thing that stops him is, of course, Raymond.

 

Raymond is struggling too, although with different things than Leo. The Time Masters put him to work, sketching up designs for their engineers to assemble. Some of them have to do with the Oculus interface. Most don’t. Raymond catches up on their future technology even quicker than Leo had expected him to, and definitely a lot quicker than the Time Masters had thought he would. Of course he did, Raymond’s a genius.

 

Leo is proud, even as he watches Raymond sketch up designs for some truly awful devices. Raymond had tried to protest, in the beginning.

 

They broke his leg.

 

It healed up okay, but Raymond doesn’t fight them anymore.

 

And the days blur and meld into each other, simultaneously flying past and dragging by. Leo is stuck in a time loop, and he _hates_ time loops.

 

The day things change is an “on” day. His rotating guard drags him out of the room he shares with Raymond, and plugs him into the machine without ceremony. At least by now it just attaches easily into the interface port, clicking neatly into place.

 

His vision still goes white. He’s still in there for six hours.

 

He still can barely stand when they unplug him.

 

Leo’s guard complement has shrunk over the weeks (months, maybe) to one—usually a large, strong man. Today, it’s a small, young, blond woman. He feels her energy, and it’s odd. Different. She’s…bubbly, he can tell, even under her mask of a stern impression and her severe ponytail.

 

And she’s strong, he notes, as she half-carries him back to his room.

 

Then, halfway down the hallway, she says something.

 

“Barry Allen says hi,” she mutters into his ear, and he’s slouched over enough to catch it. He’s exhausted enough that he doesn’t react, doesn’t twitch, doesn’t stare at her. He just waits, lets her words sink in. If she knows Barry…

 

They reach Leo’s room, and instead of depositing him into Raymond’s arms like the rest of them usually do, she carries him over the threshold. Raymond looks at her in surprise as he steps back to let her pass, closing the door behind her. She helps Leo into a chair and then straightens her uniform and clears her throat.

 

“Hi!” she says, grinning widely at the two of them. “My name is Kara! I’m here to rescue you!”

 

Leo and Raymond stare at her blankly.

 

“Don’t worry about being overheard, Felicity’s in the system, she controls the cameras. Right now, I’m resuming my rounds, and Leonard is throwing up in the bathroom with you watching over him, Ray.”

 

“Felicity?” Raymond asks, his eyes lighting up.

 

Kara nods, and her grin lights up the room, spreading like a virus to Raymond’s face. “Oh!” She digs into her pocket and pulls out two earbuds. “These are for you. Well, for right now, I’ll have to take them back after. We don’t want the Time Masters catching you with them.” She hands the earbuds over and Leo and Raymond put them in, to the sounds of overlapping voices.

 

“Lenny—”

 

“Ray—”

 

“You’re alive—”

 

“We’re gonna—”

 

“Shut up!” a rough, male voice cuts through. “One at a time.”

 

“Ollie?” Raymond asks, shocked.

 

“Hi Ray, Snart. I’ll let Lisa go first, since she’s the only family. Then we’ll go—in order—around the rest,” Oliver Queen says, in a commanding tone.

 

Leo reaches his hand out, grabs for Raymond, his eyes tearing up. “Lis’?” he asks, and his baby sister’s voice comes over the earbud.

 

“Hi, Lenny. Are you okay?” she asks, her voice full of concern and affection.

 

He swallows down tears, and is able to choke out a small, “No.”

 

“We’re here, we’re gonna get you out, I _promise_ ,” Lisa says, and Felicity takes over.

 

“Hey, guys,” she says, “I think Kara told you, but I’ve got control of their entire security system. It wasn’t easy to hack something this far in the future, in terms of technology, let me tell you, but I got through and I’ve figured it out well enough to make sure you guys can have some privacy, and uh, we didn’t see anything, I may have heard some things while I was getting the hang of it but—”

 

“Felicity, it’s okay,” Raymond cuts her off, unable to chase the smile off his face, even as he holds Leo close. Leo presses his face against Ray’s stomach, his arms around Ray’s waist and Ray’s arms around his shoulder.

 

“Yeah, Felicity,” Sara cuts in, “we don’t need to hear about what you’ve heard them doing. We’ve heard enough of it on the ship.”

 

“Sara,” Raymond says, “you’re alive!”

 

Leo looks up at his boyfriend. “Why wouldn’t she be alive? How else would they get here?”

 

“Uhh…” Raymond starts, his guilt warring with the excitement still clear on his face.

 

“They shut off life support when they left with you guys,” Jax says. “Rip and I fixed it, just in time. We almost died, but we’re good now.”

 

“You knew?” Leo asks Raymond, who just nods. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Raymond leans over and presses a quick kiss to the top of his head. “I needed you to have hope, my love.”

 

Leo can understand that. He stays quiet as the rest of the Legends say their hellos, except for a quick greeting back to Mick.

 

“I’m here too,” Cisco says, after the Legends have finished their greetings, “with Jesse and Harry. We needed a speedster they would be less likely to know, so Barry and Wally stayed behind to keep an eye on things back home.”

 

“Why do you need a speedster?” Raymond asks.

 

“The plan calls for one,” Queen answers.

 

“The plan?” Leo asks.

 

“Yup!” Caitlin pipes up. “You’ve met Kara, she’s the first wave. I’m coming in next because, Leonard, you look like crap. They most likely won’t recognize me, so I’m going undercover and I’m gonna get you some of your strength back. We need you mobile, so you can fight your way out when the time comes.”

 

“I’m fine,” Leo protests, but Caitlin shushes him.

 

“You’re not fine.” Caitlin’s voice is fondly exasperated, and Leo realizes that he’s missed her. “Felicity and Cisco have been monitoring you, and you’re very sick. You might be worse than you were when we first found you. You’re barely eating and you’ve lost way too much weight. You’re skin and bones, Leonard. I know Ray has been doing his best, but I’m gonna have them hook you up to an IV whenever they plug you in, and probably a few times when you’re not plugged in.”

 

“You and that IV,” Leo mutters, but he feels a surge of affection for the cranky doctor anyway. She’ll look after him, he knows that.

 

Queen takes over after that. “Great, thank you Caitlin, she’ll be headed in within the next few days. Jesse is after that, and that’s the start of the main plan. She’s going to start rounding up Time Masters and locking them up in an unused section of Horizon, where I’ll be keeping watch. I’ll be helping her as much as I can, but my getting spotted would greatly impact the plan, so I won’t be able to do as much as I would like.

 

“Now, we’re operating under the assumption that some of the Time Masters come and go, and we’re going to start taking the ones we think nobody would miss for a few days. We’re going to collect as many as we can, both so their numbers are thinned, and also so they start turning against each other. We _want_ them, after a few days, maybe a week, to think there’s a traitor in their midst. Obviously, they’ll go after the newest members first: Kara, Caitlin, and Jesse. All three have been prepped extensively, so I’m not worried, but I’ll be able to get to them quickly if there’s a problem.

 

“Once the Time Masters have turned against each other, the Legends will swarm Horizon. They’ll fight their way in, to you, while Caitlin and Kara will meet up with the two of you to start fighting your way _out_. I’ll have the cold gun and the ATOM suit with me, and I’ll have Jesse run those to you as soon as the fighting starts. We’ll need to get you to a hangar so we can fly the Waverider inside, and not just the jump ship like we’ve been using, so we can get everyone on board. Any questions?”

 

Leo is speechless. He can’t find fault with the plan, except… “How long?”

 

“How long for what?” Queen asks.

 

“How long will this take?” Leo questions back.

 

There’s silence for a moment. “A few weeks, at our best guess,” Queen finally says.

 

Leo lets out a breath. “So I have to—”

 

“I’m sorry,” Queen cuts him off, “but, yes. Can you do it? Can you hold on for a few more weeks?”

 

Leo looks up at Raymond, who has been rubbing a hand across Leo’s scalp for most of the planning part of the conversation.

 

“Yeah,” Leo says. “I can hold on.”

 

“Great,” Queen replies. We’ll set things in motion, then. Like I said, Caitlin will be there within a day or so, and she’ll work with you to build your strength back up. Then we’ll go from there.”

 

“We should wrap things up,” Felicity cuts in, “Kara’s about to loop back around for her rounds and we need to match it up. Ray, Leonard, can you guys head into the bathroom so it looks like you’re just coming out of there? Wait five minutes and then you can actually come out and eat or whatever you guys want to do with your time.”

 

“Okay,” Ray says. “I guess we’ll, uh, see you soon?”

 

“Ray,” Felicity starts, but Ray’s already pulled out his earbud.

 

Leo goes to pull his out but hesitates. “Lisa?” he asks.

 

“Yeah?” she replies.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Then Leo, too, pulls out his earbud and hands it over to Kara, who slips both of them back into her pocket.

 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you boys around! Remember, don’t react to me, or you’ll give me away,” Kara says, her voice light in a way that Leo thinks may be slightly forced. Not disingenuous, just falsely bright. “And you’re still being watched and listened to, so don’t talk about this when I leave!”

 

She shoos them into the bathroom, and then walks out, listening to instructions over her earbud.

 

Raymond and Leo look at each other. Leo wants to say something, but they can’t be overheard, so he just steps forward and leans against Raymond. “I’m glad you’re here with me,” Leo says, his face buried in Raymond’s neck.

 

“Here at the end of all things?” Raymond asks, and Leo peers up at him.

 

“Are you quoting _Lord of the Rings_ at me?” he asks, trying to keep the smile out his voice.

 

Ray nods, grinning wide.

 

God, is this real? They’re going to be rescued. Not immediately, but soon. Soon, they’ll be free, they’ll be away from here. They can go back to their lives, to their friends, to their team. Leo can go back to his baseline of pain, not this constant overwhelming aching throughout his entire body.

 

All he has to do is survive the next few weeks. He thinks about his team, his friends, his sister. Raymond.

 

Yeah, he can survive this. He _will_ survive this. And he’ll blow up the Time Masters’ interface on his way out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Ruth for the betaing <3


	14. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s going on,” Caitlin says, rapidly approaching Leo, “is that the Oculus is starving half to death, and you’ll kill the vessel in a few months if you keep this up. I’ve been sent to ensure that the Oculus stays alive, at least until we can figure out what happens to the Oculus when its host dies.”

Caitlin shows up on an “on” day. Leo is shepherded into the hangar as usual, and he’s about to be plugged into the interface, when her shrill voice rings out, echoing through the large room.

 

“Are you _trying_ to kill him?” she asks, striding forward. Her hair is different: almost jet-black and tied up in a severe knot at the back of her head. She’s wearing thick-rimmed glasses and the usual Time Master uniform, and Leo wouldn’t have recognized her right away, if he hadn’t known her voice so well.

 

The Time Master who was about to connect Leo to the interface, stops. “Uh…” she says, looking around for backup. “What’s going on?”

 

“What’s going on,” Caitlin says, rapidly approaching Leo, “is that the Oculus is starving half to death, and you’ll kill the vessel in a few months if you keep this up. I’ve been sent to ensure that the Oculus stays alive, at least until we can figure out what happens to the Oculus when its host dies.”

 

The Time Master stutters, “Oh, uh, okay. Um, what do you need me to do?”

 

Caitlin starts barking orders, commanding the horde of Time Masters in the room to bring her various equipment, which mostly amounts to an IV (that goddamn IV), and a handful of machines to monitor Leo’s vitals. This all seems very familiar; except for the equipment itself, Leo could be back in S.T.A.R. Labs, with Caitlin clucking over him like he’s a wayward child.

 

It’s comforting, now.

 

He’d been annoyed by it most of the time, back in Central City, but now it’s something else to latch onto, to give him strength and hope.

 

The last thing he sees before he gets plugged in for the day is Caitlin’s face, looking down at him with concern in her eyes.

 

And then the world goes white, again, as always.

 

—

 

As soon as Leo wakes up, he notices a difference. Everything still hurts, but it’s more of a dull ache than a roaring pain. He doesn’t feel that awful combination of nausea and emptiness he usually does, either. He’s still not hungry, and his stomach still isn’t happy, but it’s better.

 

“What did you give me?” he asks Caitlin, dazed.

 

Caitlin starts rambling on about the contents of the IV drips and the effects each one has had on him and he shakes his head.

 

“I regret asking already,” he mutters, and is shocked when Caitlin wraps her fingers tight around his chin.

 

“You _will_ speak to me with respect, Oculus,” she says, her eyes hard and glittering. He knows it’s an act, but he’s shocked, anyway. “I am not here for your benefit. I am only here to insure the continued stream of data we receive from the Oculus. That can only be achieved if you are alive. So do not presume that I will tolerate your continuing disrespect. Do you understand?” She releases her hold on his chin so he can nod. “Good.”

 

Leo watches silently as Caitlin disconnects him from the IV, the needle slipping smoothly out of the crook of his arm. She places a bandage over the tiny pinprick, pressing the edges down firmly.

 

“Tomorrow, we’ll set up a CVC,” she looks at him, and realizes he doesn’t understand the acronym, “uh, a central venous catheter, probably here,” she pokes at his chest, near his heart, “so we can keep giving you an IV drip every few days and so you don’t look like a drug addict after a few weeks.” She sighs. “It would be easier if we could just bring you into the med-bay for this, but we can’t move that here, and we can’t move this set-up there, so this old-fashioned method is going to have to do, at least until _someone_ can build me the proper set up here.”

 

She sounds annoyed, but by this point, Leo is only half focusing on what she’s saying. He may not feel as sick as he usually does, but he’s still exhausted. He can feel his eyes start to flutter closed and Caitlin seems to pick up on that.

 

“Okay, get him out of here,” she commands, and Kara—no, he should think of her as the small blond Time Master—comes to collect Leo. He lets himself lean on her, lets her take half his weight on the way back to his room.

 

“What are you?” he asks, under his breath, realizing that, even with all the weight he’s lost, he’s still twice her size and she should probably be a little unbalanced.

 

“An alien,” she mutters back, glancing up at him with a quick wink.

 

Well, damn. He has no doubt that she’s serious, and that gives him enough food for thought until they reach  his room. This time she does deposit him into Raymond’s waiting arms, before striding off down the hallway.

 

“You look better,” Raymond says, holding Leo close.

 

“New doctor,” Leo replies, trying to figure out how to phrase his sentences through the cloud of fog in his head, without giving anything away. “She’s trying to make sure I stay alive.”

 

Raymond presses a kiss to his forehead. “Well, I like her already.”

 

Leo hums his agreement, and lets Raymond pull him deeper into their room.

 

—

 

“Quick,” Oliver says through his comm unit, “what’s your status?”

 

“On my way,” the speedster replies, her voice slightly strained with the weight of the Time Master she’s got knocked out and in her arms as she speeds silently through the hallways.

 

Oliver had worked with her to be quieter, to be sneakier. Speedsters aren’t known for their subtlety, but he thinks if anyone can achieve it, it’s Jesse Wells. He’s found her to be a very competent and kind hero over the last few weeks of working together.

 

In fact, he barely hears her as he watches her bright yellow lightning speed into view. She slows when she reaches him, skidding to a halt and transferring the heavy, unconscious body to his arms.

 

“One down,” she says quietly, “twenty-nine more to go.”

 

“We haven’t officially decided on thirty,” Oliver tells her, throwing the unconscious man over his shoulder and walking forward to the hastily but carefully constructed holding cell. “That’s just an estimate of when they’ll start panicking.”

 

“Of course,” Jesse says, her voice light.

 

They fall into a rhythm of their own, keeping apprised of the goings-on on the rest of Horizon from the joint ministrations of Felicity and Cisco, picking out Time Masters to kidnap, and keeping the already-kidnapped Time Masters quiet and alive. Jesse poses as a scientist, and keeps an eye on Snart when Caitlin is otherwise occupied.

 

Oliver turns out to be glad that Harry demanded to be brought along; the man has already proven himself very useful in dicey situations. Situations such as when Jesse didn’t quite lock up after herself well enough, and one of their kidnapped Time Masters almost escaped. Harry had knocked the man out with grace and speed, depositing him back into his cell.

 

Oliver had yelled at the girl a little bit, but she’s young, still learning. She won’t do it again. And it cements that bringing her father along was a good decision, even if the two tend to bicker occasionally. It’s no more than Oliver bickered with his parents when he was younger and they were still alive, so he understands.

 

Plus, Jesse reminds him of Thea sometimes, in her steel gaze and the stubborn set of her jaw. And her heart.

 

In the weeks they spend setting up, Jesse keeps her head down, and Oliver and Harry avoid the main hallways at all costs. They never get anywhere near Ray and Snart’s room, but that’s another thing Felicity and Cisco keep them updated on.

 

“Ray seems to be doing okay,” Felicity tells him. He’s staying strong for Snart, it seems, and they’ve both been a lot stronger since they found out about their impending rescue. Oliver is glad, even if he still doesn’t really get the two of them.

 

He thinks back to when he had first talked to Ray about Ray becoming a time traveler, how he’d warned his friend about Snart and Rory. And now Ray is dating one of those criminals.

 

“Reformed criminals,” Felicity reminds him, and Oliver just shakes his head.

 

“It’s strange, Felicity. Don’t you think it’s strange?”

 

“Leonard Snart is a hero now,” she says. “The Legends, even Team Flash, they all have good things to say about him. He’s not Barry’s arch-nemesis or whatever anymore, and you really should give him a break.”

 

“You’re probably right,” Oliver says.

 

“I know,” Felicity replies, and he can hear her grin over the earpiece. “And you know Ray always focuses on the best in people.”

 

Ray does, she’s right. Of course she is.

 

Slowly, over the course of a few weeks, he, Jesse, and Harry round up a good twenty-six Time Masters.

 

“They’re getting worried,” Cisco tells the three of them. “They’re starting to turn on each other, accusing each other of turning traitor.”

 

“Good,” Oliver replies. “It won’t be long now.”

 

And it isn’t. It’s three more days, two more Time Masters kidnapped, before the dam breaks.

 

“All personnel, please report to the main hangar,” a female voice sounds out, on every loudspeaker. Oliver and Quick suit up, and they wait for the team on the Waverider to start their attack.

 

“We’re ready,” Supergirl says over the comms. “I’m here with Caitlin, and we’re headed to Leonard and Ray.”

 

“Good. Stay in their room until I give the signal.”

 

“Got it,” Supergirl replies, and goes silent. Oliver trusts her and Caitlin to get it right.

 

“Felicity, how does it look out there?” he asks.

 

Felicity pauses, and he can imagine her typing silently on the flat screens of the Waverider. “Okay, the hallways are clearing out, and everyone is headed for the main hangar, which is great, it’s not like that’s where we need to fly the Waverider into to collect everyone.”

 

“ _Felicity_.”

 

“Sorry, okay, you were probably going to have to fight your way out anyway. This just makes it a _little_ more difficult,” Felicity replies. “Yeah, you should be good to go.”

 

Oliver motions to Quick, and she speeds off to bring the cold gun and the ATOM suit to the two men, before meeting up with Oliver and Harry at the hangar.

 

Harry shoulders his over-sized gun and nods. Oliver nods back, and leads the other man down the hallways, leaving the cells full behind for the rest of the Time Masters to sort out later.

 

Oliver and Harry meet Quick at the doors to the hangar. They lurk in the shadows outside, waiting for their cue.

 

“We’re close,” Sara’s voice crackles out over the comms.

 

Oliver nods. “Okay, Supergirl, Snow, start heading our way with Cold and the ATOM.”

 

“Roger that!” Supergirl chirps out over the comms and Oliver manages to not wince at the brightness in her tone. He’s had a few weeks to get used to her constant excitement and bubbly personality, but it still chafes a bit here, when he’s trying to focus. He gets enough of that from Felicity, he doesn’t need it from Kara, too.

 

In the main hangar, Oliver hears a female Time Master, giving some sort of speech about loyalties. He tunes her out, trusting that Felicity will keep an ear on what’s happening and let him know if the woman is saying anything important.

 

Instead, he keeps focused on their surroundings, waiting for the rest of the group to catch up.

 

After a few tense minutes, the four arrive. Snart really does look awful, Oliver notes, as he greets the lot of them with a silent nod. The man’s clothes are hanging loosely off his too-thin frame, and Oliver is shocked that this is after Snow’s work on getting him back to fighting health.

 

“Okay, Waverider,” he says, after Ray claps him on the shoulder, “that’s your cue.”

 

Sara whoops over the comms and then Oliver hears the sound of laser gunfire, followed quickly by shouting Time Masters.

 

“Move!” he commands, and the seven of them flood into the hangar to a giant swarm of Time Masters.

 

Oliver shoots steadily, hitting Time Masters smoothly in non-vital areas with arrow after arrow. Ray and Snart fire their own bright blue beams, and Oliver has to admit that they fight well side by side, even if Snart’s energy already seems to be flagging, and quickly.

 

“ATOM!” Oliver calls, “Get Cold to the ship.”

 

“It’s Oculus now,” Snart calls out over the noise, “and I’m fine, we can make it on foot.” But his words are negated immediately when he stumbles and almost falls into the waiting arms of a Time Master, ready to snatch him up and cart him off.

 

Ray gets there first, shooting the Time Master in the stomach with his compressed light beams.

 

“Don’t touch him!” Ray yells, and scoops Snart up in his arms. He says something to Snart that Oliver is too far away to catch with the couple off comms, and then flies directly at the Waverider.

 

Lisa is standing in the doorway of the ship, with Cisco at her side. They’re both laying down cover—her with her gun, him with his powers—as Ray flies into the ship, with Snart tight in his arms.

 

“Retreat to the ship!” Oliver calls, and the Legends start to fall back. Supergirl grabs Caitlin in her arms, flying smoothly and quickly over the heads of the fighting Time Masters. Jesse speeds through, and Harry and Oliver fight their way forward, toward the Waverider.

 

Oliver is the last to step on board, sweeping the crowd one last time, as an assembled variety of heroes lays down fire to keep the Time Masters away from the ship. Once he’s determined that everyone on their team is on board, he gives the signal and the door closes, the Waverider speeding off and away.

 

Snart comes stalking up almost instantly, furious, with Ray trailing along behind him.

 

“Blow it up,” he orders, squaring off against Oliver.

 

“No,” Oliver replies immediately. “We’re not murdering innocent people.”

 

“They’re not innocent!” Snart shouts. “They kidnapped me and used me, and I want them _dead_ ,” he snarls. Oliver looks up, meets Ray’s eyes over Snart’s shoulder.

 

“I understand that you are in pain,” Oliver says, his voice deadly calm, “but there _are_ innocent people on that base, and I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I no longer condone killing.”

 

Snart is on him then, stepping forward into his space and attempting to pin him against a wall. If he were at his full fighting weight, he might’ve accomplished it. Snart is still strong, even as ill as he is.

 

But Oliver is at full strength, so he stands his ground, and Snart’s attempts fall flat.

 

Ray comes up behind him, prying his furious boyfriend away from Oliver. “Leo, honey, come on, Ollie just rescued us, and he’s—”

 

“If you say he’s got a point, I’m leaving you,” Snart growls.

 

Ray takes a deep breath, re-centering himself, his arms still wrapped tight around Snart. “Leo,” he says, his voice soft, “ _sweetheart_. We’re free, we’re _safe_ , they won’t get the drop on us like that again.”

 

Snart pushes free of Ray’s grasp, turning on him instead. “How can you be sure of that?”

 

Ray opens his mouth to answer, but Lisa cuts in.

 

“Lenny,” she says, her voice stern. “Stop.” She steps forward, in between him and Ray, wrapping her arms around her brother. “Stop,” she repeats, and Snart wilts, relaxing into her hold. “Your team has been working on that, and they have new security in place, taken directly from the Time Masters’ base. So stop being a dick.”

 

“Sorry, Lis’,” Oliver hears the man mutter, his face buried in his sister’s hair.

 

“Don’t apologize to me,” she says, her voice soft but still steel. “Apologize to Ray and Oliver.” She releases him and he steps back, keeping one arm slung around her shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking steadily into Oliver’s eyes. Oliver nods in acceptance. Then Snart turns to Ray. “Raymond,” he says, his voice wobbling slightly.

 

Ray just strides forward, collecting both Snarts in a big hug. 

 

“I know,” Ray says, pressing a light kiss to Snart’s cheek. Lisa steps neatly aside, letting Ray completely envelop her brother. “Oh, hey,” Ray says suddenly, and his grip shifts to catch Snart, who has slowly started to sink to the floor. “I got you.”

 

“I don’t feel so hot,” Snart slurs, and Oliver can see that his eyes have taken on a glassy sheen.

 

Caitlin steps in, immediately in doctor mode. “Get him to the med-bay, Ray, now,” she orders, and Ray complies. Oliver lets the group walk off, with Lisa, Cisco, and every single Legend trailing behind, trying to get a word in edgewise to welcome Ray and Snart back to the ship.

 

Oliver nods to himself. He has faith in Caitlin’s ability to nurse Snart back to health. All in all, this was a successful mission, a job well done.

 

Felicity says as much, coming up beside him and looping her arm in hers. “It was a good plan, Oliver.”

 

He nods in agreement. “We got them out. We got everyone out safely.”

 

She makes a noise of agreement. “Go team!”

 

He smiles down at her as the noise fades away down the hallway.

 

—

 

As Leo starts to wake up, he hears the hushed voices of his sister and his boyfriend.

 

“You haven’t asked him yet?” Lisa is saying—well, hissing—to Raymond.

 

Raymond shushes her quickly. “Lisa, not now. And, no, I haven’t found the right moment. What about you and Cisco, huh?”

 

Lisa snickers, and Leo hears shuffling, and a sharp intake of breath from Raymond.

 

Leo blinks his eyes open to see Raymond examining something sparkly on his sister’s ring finger.

 

“Don’t tell me you showed my boyfriend your engagement ring before you showed me,” Leo says, his voice rough and scratchy.

 

Lisa squeals, leaning over to hug Leo. He carefully hugs her back, mindful of the wires and IV lines sticking out of him at various places.

 

“If you were awake, I would’ve shown you first! Plus, uh, the rest of the ship may already know, since we’ve been cooped up here for a while,” Lisa tells him, squishing him tightly before leaning back to show off the ring.

 

It is beautiful, Leo notes, his mind turning over the end of the conversation he’d overheard. Could Raymond be planning to propose? Leo shakes the thought out of his head, refocusing his attention on his baby sister.

 

“I’m really happy for you and Cisco, Lis’,” he tells her, with a genuine smile that only kind of hurts his entire body.

 

She smiles back and presses a light kiss to his forehead. “Okay, I’ll leave you two alone and let everyone know that you’re awake, Lenny.” Lisa leaves with a smile at the two of them, sauntering off down the hallway, the click of her heels echoing loudly.

 

Once she’s gone, Raymond moves over to sit down next to Leo. “How do you feel?” he asks, caressing Leo’s cheek lightly.

 

Leo leans into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut automatically. “Mmm,” he says, “your hand is warm.”

 

“Not what I asked,” Raymond says, laughing lightly.

 

Leo blinks his eyes back open, meeting his boyfriend’s soft gaze. He stares into Raymond’s eyes as he analyzes how his body feels. “I’m okay,” he says, after a minute. “Not great, but okay.”

 

Raymond nods, leaning over to kiss the tip of Leo’s nose. “I can live with that,” he says, right before the Legends come flooding in.

 

Then, for a few minutes, it’s all overlapping conversation and shouting over each other, and hug after hug after hug—or firm handshake in the professor’s case—until Leonard can’t distinguish between noises anymore and he feels his senses overloading.

 

“Okay, guys,” Raymond says, cutting through the noise, seeing Leo droop, “let’s let him get some sleep, okay?”

 

Everyone files out except Sara and Raymond.

 

Sara sits down on the edge of the bed and looks down at Leo. “We’re glad to have you back, Leonard,” she says. “I wanted to let you know that we didn’t leave the Time Masters fully operational, and we didn’t leave all of them intact. The one that kidnapped you, Brenna?”

 

Leo nods, guessing what Sara is about to say.

 

“I fought her, and I killed her.” Sara looks at him, seeming to gauge his reaction. Leo just nods, and Sara continues, “I recognized her from our footage of the attack, and I figured…”

 

“You figured correctly,” Leo assures her, feeling a bit better about not leaving Horizon a smoldering wreckage behind them.

 

“Well, it seems as though she was their current leader, so they’ve been shaken up in that way, as well,” Sara says.

 

“Good.” Leo gives her a half-smile, and she pats his shoulder.

 

“Okay, well, I just wanted to let you know that. Go to sleep, Leonard. We’ll catch up later.” Sara smiles at him as she gets up, claps Raymond on the arm, and walks out, closing the door behind her.

 

Leo feels his eyes closing as Raymond once again sits down next to him, taking hold of his hand. “Mmm, hi,” he says, his eyelids heavy.

 

“Hi, honey,” Raymond replies, squeezing Leo’s hand gently. “Go to sleep.”

 

“Okay,” Leo agrees, letting his eyes close, falling quickly into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Ruth, again, for being a lovely beta!


	15. The Next Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I suppose you want to know how it ends, how their story finishes._

Things quickly go back to normal after that.

 

They stop over in Central City to drop everyone off, and Lisa promises to send them a message when she and Cisco set a date for the wedding. Caitlin reluctantly leaves Leo in Raymond’s hands, with very clearly outlined instructions for both Raymond and Gideon.

 

Leo is left out of any and all instructions, because Caitlin knows he’ll just ignore her advice.

 

And then it’s off again, following the time quakes, because nobody wants to ask Leo if they can hook him up to the Waverider, not now, not yet.

 

“Okay, we’ve got an aberration in 2068,” Sara says, walking onto the bridge, a few weeks after Leo and Raymond have gotten back. “Take your seats, let’s go.” Rip, Amaya, and Jonah follow her in, close on her heels as they all take their seats.

 

Sara flies them through the time stream, and is up out of her chair a split second after they land in an abandoned lot.

 

“Okay, from what we can gleam from news reports, some time pirates have sold even more futuristic weaponry to an arms dealer, and we’ve got to clean up their mess.” She rolls her eyes. “As usual.”

 

Leo feels a twinge of a headache coming on as he adjusts to the new timelines. It’s a lot easier than it used to be, but it still hurts a bit, especially since he’s not quite back to full strength after the whole debacle with the Time Masters. Leo closes his eyes and takes his glasses off, hooking them in the neck of his sweater and pressing on his temples.

 

Leo senses Raymond move out of his chair and stretch quickly. Raymond then leans over Leo, digging his thumbs into the tight muscles of Leo’s shoulders. Leo can’t help but let out a small groan, and he knows that the rest of the team is rolling their eyes at this display of affection.

 

Raymond moves his hands up the sides of Leo’s neck, massaging as he goes, finally replacing Leo’s fingers at his temples to gently press on the worst offenders. Leo’s headache recedes slightly and he catches Raymond’s hands in his, pressing a quick kiss to one of Raymond’s palms.

 

“You okay, love?” Raymond asks, pressing a return kiss to Leo’s forehead.

 

Leo nods, putting his glasses back on before opening his eyes. “I will be. You?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

 

Sara clears her throat. Raymond sits down quickly, sideways on Leo’s lap, and the two of them turn their attention to their captain. Leo curls his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, enjoying the comforting weight and hoping that his headache will lift soon.

 

Sara starts right in on mission parameters. “We all know why we’re here, so let’s get down to details. Gideon has found the local bar that the leader of this arms dealing ring frequents, so we’re going undercover. Amaya, you’re the bartender.”

 

Amaya nods at her. “Should be fun.”

 

“Stein, you’re going to be drinking at the bar so you and Jax, who will be working as a busboy—”

 

“Seriously?” Jax looks offended.

 

“—can provide backup, just in case things go sideways. Leonard,” Sara says, “you’re going to be the honeypot.”

 

“Excuse me?” Leo asks, and tightens his grip on Raymond’s waist.

 

“I know you’re going to fight me on this, but consider: you are the best option to seduce a gay man, and you know it.” Leo glares at Sara, but she continues, “you’re hot, you ping, and you can flirt.”

 

“Uh, ping?” Stein asks.

 

“Gay-dar,” Sara responds.

 

“Ah, I see.” Stein shuts up, and Jax rolls his eyes, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“Leonard, there are no other guys on this ship who fit the role quite as well as you do. I know, you don’t want to do this, but we need you to for the mission.” She points to each of the other men in turn: “Mick, no. I don’t even need to explain why. No.” Mick grunts in response. “Jax is a kid.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Shut up, Jax, it’s true. Stein is too old.”

 

“Well, that’s fair.”

 

“Nate is a complete disaster, he’d probably fall over his own feet and then bore the guy to death talking about history.”

 

Nate pouts. “I’m hurt.”

 

“I don’t care. Jonah, same situation as Mick. No subtlety, stands out even in 2017, let alone 2068.” Jonah ignores her, propping his feet up on Rip’s lap. “Rip, well, you’re my second choice, but we all know Leonard is a better flirt. Plus, he’s more obviously queer, what with his _ridiculous_ drawl.”

 

“You are probably correct on that one, Captain,” Rip replies as Leo glares.

 

“I know. Finally,” Sara directs her gaze back to Leo and Raymond, “Ray, you’re just a mess. We’ve all seen you try to flirt for a mission, it is not a pretty sight. So, Snart, it’s on you.”

 

Leo huffs. “Raymond? You okay with this?”

 

“Yeah, love,” Ray responds. “It’s for a mission, and Sara has a point. You’re, uh,” Raymond blushes, “more skilled at seduction than the rest of us.”

 

“Hmm, well, you’d know,” Leo says, teasing, but he’s not happy. Raymond’s reply is a bit too off-hand. So Leo pouts a bit, without really meaning to. Raymond seems to notice, but Sara’s going over more details, and they have to pay attention.

 

When Sara finishes up the mission walkthrough, she is bombarded by a barrage of questions from Stein and Nate. Raymond immediately turns to Leo, and starts in on him. Well, he tries. He’s way too much of a Hufflepuff to really _yell_ at his boyfriend.

 

“Leo, why are you mad at me? I said I’m okay with you doing this for the mission, why does that upset you?”

 

“It’s fine.” Leo tries to shove his boyfriend off his lap, but Raymond won’t budge.

 

“You’re deflecting, my love. Talk to me.” Raymond’s been after him more and more lately to actually talk over their issues, before they get out of control. He’s probably got a point, but that doesn’t mean Leo likes it any more.

 

Leo sighs and stops pushing at Raymond. He leans his head against Raymond’s chest, talking into it. “Why aren’t you more upset about me going to pick up another guy?”

 

Raymond kisses the top of his head. “Because, Leo, I love you. I know you love me. I know you’re coming home to me, so why would I be upset? I’m not exactly happy with your assignment, but it’s the _mission_. I also know that you choose to be with me, and that I trust you. You know that I trust you, right?”

 

“Guys?” Sara asks, her tone annoyed.

 

Raymond holds up a hand, silently telling her to wait a second. “Is that okay?” he asks Leo, whose face is still pressed against his chest.

 

Leo pulls away, leans back in the chair so he can look up at Raymond, considering. “Yeah. Um, yeah, that makes sense.” He smiles weakly up at Raymond.

 

Sara barges in, as soon as their moment is over. “Okay, boys, now that that’s settled, I’m gonna need Leonard to go get ready. Be back on the bridge in half an hour.”

 

“Really?” Raymond asks, his face lighting up. “We have a whole half hour?”

 

“Oh my god,” Sara says again, burying her face in her hands. “If you’re late, I’m gonna murder you!” she calls after them, as Raymond pulls Leo down the hallway to their bedroom.

 

Leo’s still a little weirded out by how well Raymond seems to be taking things, but he lets himself be pulled. Once they get into their room, Raymond’s hands are all over him, and Leo understands.

 

“So you do have a possessive side,” Leo gasps, as Raymond mouths at his neck and starts unbuttoning his pants.

 

“I don’t need to be possessive. I know you’re mine,” Raymond mutters against his skin, moving them to the bed. Leo ends up perched on the edge, Raymond slowly working his mouth down Leo’s chest to the bulge in his boxer-briefs.

 

“Mmm, darling, this is supposed to be a quickie, you should probably go faster,” Leo says, tangling his fingers in Raymond’s hair.

 

“Oh, right,” Raymond says, and moves to Leo’s cock. He builds up to a fast rhythm and soon enough, Leo is coming into his mouth, swearing and groaning.

 

“I’ll finish you off in the shower?” Leo asks, once he catches his breath enough to talk. “After all, I do have a mission to get ready for.”

 

Raymond nods, and they all but fall into the shower, laughing. Leo tries to wash himself while simultaneously jacking his boyfriend off. He gets water up his nose from laughing, so he decides to ignore showering for a minute in favor of nipping at Raymond’s neck and quickening the pace of his hand, bringing his boyfriend to completion.

 

After that, they _do_ get down to actual business.

 

Leo steps out of the shower, clean and fresh, wraps a towel around his waist and grabs his razor. He starts shaving the small amount of stubble off his face as Raymond finishes up in the shower.

 

“Hey, darling?” Leo asks, running the razor carefully down his neck.

 

“Yeah?” Raymond dries off with a towel and discards it on the floor.

 

“Pick me out a suit?”

 

“Got it.” Raymond shakes his head, spraying water everywhere, and goes back out into their room. Leo can hear him ruffling through their closet.

 

Leo finishes shaving, brushing his teeth, and putting on deodorant just as Raymond comes back into the bathroom. _He_ doesn’t have a towel around his waist, and Leo takes a second to appreciate the sight.

 

“Can I use some of your cologne?” Leo asks, pulling his mind back to the task at hand. “Yours is fancier than mine.”

 

“Of course,” Raymond replies, pressing a quick kiss to Leo’s lips, then grabbing a towel to dry his hair. “Suit’s laid out on the bed.”

 

Leo’s wearing Raymond’s cologne and he’s halfway into his suit when Raymond pokes his head out of the bathroom. “Love?”

 

“Yeah?” Leo responds, only half paying attention.

 

“How do you feel about marriage?”

 

Leo freezes. It’s not like he didn’t see this moment coming, not after the conversation he’d overheard between Raymond and Lisa recently. Still, it’s a shock. Raymond must pick up on that, because he walks fully out of the bathroom, perching at the edge of the bed.

 

“Hey, breathe,” he says. “That’s not a proposal, I’m _trying_ to freak you out as little as possible. I guess I kind of failed at that, sorry.”

 

Leo takes a deep breath, resumes buttoning his shirt up, waiting for his brain to click back on. “I uh,” he starts, then takes another deep breath and meets Raymond’s eyes. “I haven’t really, uh, it’s never really been something I’ve considered. For me. Never been something I thought I could have.”

 

“Got it! And that’s fine! Totally fine! I just wanted to, like, put it out there. Again, this is not a proposal, not that I wouldn’t want to propose, but—”

 

“ _Raymond_.”

 

“Sorry, babbling.” Now it’s Raymond’s turn to take a deep breath. “All I’m saying is, will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer now, or ever. And whatever answer you do give me, I will respect it, and I will love you just as much as I do now. Is that okay?”

 

Leo nods quickly, then changes the subject. “Blue suit, red tie. You’re dressing me in your colors, and you say you’re not possessive.” He flashes a weak smile.

 

“Just a little something to remember me by,” Raymond replies, winking. “Plus, I like you in blue.”

 

“You like me in every color.”

 

“True.” Raymond peers at him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yeah, you just caught me off guard, that’s all. Come on, we gotta go,” he says, but negates his own sense of urgency by drawing Raymond in for a slow, sweet kiss.

 

“That means I need to put clothes on, huh?” Raymond asks, pulling back reluctantly.

 

“Mmm, probably.” Leo smirks, falling back into calm as his heartbeat slows. If there’s one thing he excels at, it’s compartmentalizing. Probably not the healthiest, but it enables him to save his freakouts for later dates.

 

Raymond throws on jeans and a sweater, his hair still a mess, and he and Leo head back out to the bridge.

 

“Hey Ray, yer boyfriend sure cleans up nice,” Jonah says from where he’s leaning against the wall. Raymond glows at him, while Rip glowers.

 

“He does, doesn’t he?” Raymond says, pressing up against Leo’s back and wrapping his arms around him. Leo makes a big show of squirming in his boyfriend’s arms, before he realizes that it’s too bright on the bridge.

 

“Shit,” he says, as Sara and Amaya walk onto the bridge, hand in hand. “Raymond, I forgot my glasses. Could you…”

 

“Yeah, love, I’ll go grab them for you.”

 

“Thanks.” Leo watches as Raymond walks quickly back to their room.

 

“Okay, Leonard,” Sara says, “are you all good on the mission?”

 

Leo pulls his attention back to his captain. “Yeah, it’s a pretty simple honeypot. Flirt my ass off, pry out as much information as I can, then get out and leave him to tell the rest of his woes to Amaya, who will continue to ply him with alcohol.”

 

“Sounds good,” Sara says as Raymond comes back in with Leo’s glasses.

 

Leo puts the glasses on and breathes a small sigh of relief as the images dim. “Thanks, Raymond.”

 

“Okay, guys, time to go.” Sara kisses Amaya on the cheek and goes over to the center console to run the mission.

 

Amaya heads out first, and Leo turns to Raymond. “Darling,” he says quietly, hoping the rest of the team can’t quite make out his words, “I know you want to listen, but…can I ask you not to? I won’t be able to flirt quite as well if I know you’re listening.”

 

“I won’t listen.” It’s a lie, they both know it, but Leo nods anyway and brings Raymond in for a long, deep kiss.

 

Then he’s off, to seduce another man into giving him information. Never a dull moment with the Legends, that’s for sure.

 

—

 

Leo saunters into the bar, settles down on a stool, and orders a whiskey on the rocks (with lots of rocks) from Amaya. She brings it to him with a very fake smile and he grins at her quickly, wrapping his hand around the cool condensation already accumulating on the glass. Then he spins around, taking in Stein sitting at the other end of the bar, Jax busing tables, and the mark staring at him.

 

Well, that makes things easier.

 

Leo winks at the mark and continues his slow scan of the room. The key to a honeypot is to make them think it’s their choice, to come to you. He’s just about to turn back to the bar when he sees the mark stand up and walk over. Leo openly watches him approach, smirking.

 

“Hey, mind if I buy you a drink?” the mark asks. “Good looking guy like you shouldn’t be drinking alone.”

 

“I’ve only just started this one…”

 

“Oh.” The mark turns to walk away, but Leo stops him.

 

“But you’re more than welcome to join me.”

 

“Thanks! I’m Brian.”

 

“Leonard. Pleasure.” Leo holds out his hand and Brian takes it and responds with a firm handshake.

 

“Leonard, huh? That’s quite a mouthful.”

 

“So I’ve been told,” Leo replies dryly.

 

“Any nicknames?” Brian asks, grinning at Leo’s slightly dirty reply.

 

“If you’re lucky. For now, just Leonard.”

 

“Gotcha. So, Leonard,” Brian says, after settling down on the bar stool and ordering another vodka tonic for himself, “what brings you here?”

 

“I’m staying nearby, at the hotel around the corner.”

 

“Oh? You from out of town?”

 

“Yeah, I’m here on a business trip.” Leo angles himself so that their knees are a whisper away from touching. “I’m a mechanical engineer.”

 

He’s still a bit distracted from his conversation with Raymond, but he did manage to think up a backstory on the way here. He figures mechanical engineer is close enough to weaponry while still being respectable. Plus, dating Raymond and living on the Waverider for many months (and having been in close proximity to Cisco Ramon for a while as well) means that Leo actually knows quite a bit about mechanics.

 

“Really? You don’t seem like the type.” Leo raises an eyebrow at Brian, who grins and continues, “I mean, you seem more like a shark than an engineer.”

 

“Hmm. I’ve had an interesting life.”

 

“Want to tell me about it?”

 

“I might.” Leo smirks again, wider, showing a flash of teeth. If Brian wants him to be a shark, he can be a shark. Time to bring out Captain Cold. “That’s all in the past though,” he says, waving a hand and taking another sip of his watered-down whiskey. Amaya gave him the cheap stuff, so it’s actually probably better this way—cold.

 

“Is it?” Brian asks.

 

“Well, that depends on what _you_ do.”

 

“How so?”

 

“If you’re a cop, it’s definitely all in the past.” Leo winks.

 

Brian laughs. “Not a cop.”

 

“Didn’t really think so. Still, good to be sure. What _do_ you do?” Leo finally moves the rest of the distance, rests his knee up against Brian’s.

 

Brian shifts, not quite awkwardly, but enough that Leo knows he’s probably going to lie, or at least not tell the whole truth. It does, however, bring their legs closer together, and Brian rests his free hand on Leo’s knee. Leo’s glad he’s had a lot of practice at situations like this because he almost shies away from the intimate touch that’s from someone other than Raymond.

 

Leo manages to keep it together, and to hide any evidence of his internal freakout entirely.

 

“Well,” Brian says, “I’m, uh. A purveyor of goods, as it were.”

 

“Ah. I see.” Even if Leo didn’t know that Brian was an arms dealer, this would be a pretty clear sign that he’s at least some sort of dealer. “So you must be used to having pretty dangerous bedfellows, then.” Leo’s laying it on pretty thick, but Brian seems to be eating it up.

 

“Dangerous, yes, but none as pretty as you,” Brian says, looking at Leo like he’d love to tear Leo’s clothes off right here and now.

 

But Leo’s settled in for the long game, and he just raises his eyebrow at Brian again.

 

“Sorry, was that too cheesy?” Brian asks, somewhat abashed.

 

Honeypotting is a push and pull; draw them in, push them back, draw them in just enough to get a scrap, push them back again. Leo teases Brian for the bad joke, but kicks his flirting up a notch at the same time. Then he gets Brian another drink, and another, and another.

 

And, finally, Brian admits that he’s an arms dealer. He tells Leo too many details, whispered against Leo’s neck, in his ear. Leo runs his hand up Brian’s thigh, and Brian tells him where his base of operations is, and then asks Leo to come home with him.

 

Shit.

 

Leo should’ve planned better for this part. He was too distracted by the thought of betraying Raymond that he didn’t realize that not going home with the mark would be way too suspicious. Unless…

 

Leo agrees, then excuses himself to use the bathroom before they leave. He clicks his comm on as he walks to the restroom.

 

“Raymond?”

 

“Yeah?” Raymond answers too quickly, and Leo knows that he was definitely listening. Well, that helps in this case.

 

“I need you to come be the reason I don’t go home with Brian. Get your jealous boyfriend game face on and come yell at me.”

 

“Um…I think I can do that…”

 

“Good.” Leo pauses, thinks about it for a second. “Wait, Raymond. Jealous boyfriend isn’t high enough stakes. With the way I’ve been flirting with him, I’d just break up with you instead. Have Gideon print up rings, I need you to play jealous husband.”

 

“Are you sure?” Raymond sounds like he’s warring between concerned and excited.

 

“Just do it. And hurry.” Leo tries not to think about what he’s asking, tries not to think about Raymond’s question earlier.

 

He stalls as much as he can without it being weird, and then heads back. Luckily, he’s got a full drink in front of him, so he can distract Brian for a tiny bit longer. He lets Brian pick up the tabs, though, and they’re getting ready to leave when Raymond bursts into the room.

 

“Leonard!”

 

“Shit,” Leo mutters, making a face that he hopes looks embarrassed. He never was good at embarrassed.

 

“Who is that?” Brian asks.

 

“My husband,” Leo replies, as Raymond advances on them.

 

“Leo, what the _hell_ are you doing?”

 

“Raymond, look—”

 

“No, I know you’re going to say that this isn’t what it looks like, but I’ll know you’re lying so don’t even go there!” Raymond gets up in Leo’s face, looking angrier than Leo has ever seen him. It’s kind of hot, especially because Leo knows it’s just an act. “I know we had a really big fight, but that’s no excuse to go home with the first guy who picks you up at a bar!”

 

“Look, man,” Brian says, backing off, “I didn’t know he was married. I’m sorry.”

 

Raymond glances at Brian. “I know it’s not your fault. It’s _his_ ,” he says, poking Leo in the chest. “You. Left. Your. Ring. You left it on the kitchen table!”

 

“I told you I needed space!” By now the whole bar is staring at them in horrified fascination. “It was too much, too fast, and you knew that!” Leo feels the words tumbling out, “I’m feeling stifled, you know how I am with commitment! With expressing my feelings! You want me to tell you everything, all the time! It’s overwhelming and I need to breathe!”

 

“You still agreed to marry me!” Raymond says, fishing a ring out of his pocket and shoving it at Leo.

 

“Yeah, well, maybe I made a mistake!” Leo replies, wrapping his hand around the ring anyway.

 

Raymond turns immediately from anger into sadness. “Do you really think that, Leo?”

 

Leo feels his eyes soften and his own fake-anger bleed out. “No. No, Raymond, I don’t. I may not be good with commitment, I may freak out when I’m tied down to something, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That, at least, hasn’t changed.”

 

“Then what are you doing here?” Raymond asks quietly.

 

“Making bad decisions.”

 

“Will you come home?” Raymond’s in full puppy-dog mode and Leo just wants to kiss him.

 

Instead, Leo opens his palm to reveal the ring he’d been clutching there.

 

“Yes,” he says, sliding the ring onto his finger.

 

Raymond holds out his hand and Leo takes it. He turns to Brian to apologize, but Brian shakes his head.

 

“Yo, you guys clearly got some stuff going on, no need to say anything. I’ll just stay here and keep drinking.”

 

“I am sorry,” Leo says anyway, trying to sound like he actually feels bad. Brian either takes him at his word or is too drunk to care because he just nods and slouches back down in the chair he’d just vacated.

 

Amaya pours Brian a shot, and Leo can hear her tell him that it’s on the house as Raymond leads him out into the parking lot.

 

Instead of going straight back onto the ship, though, Raymond clicks his comm unit off and stops under a streetlight, turning to Leo.

 

“Are you okay?” Raymond asks, sounding concerned.

 

Leo realizes that he’s shaking, and he’s not entirely sure why until the conversation he’d had with Raymond before the mission catches up with him. “Fuck,” he says, and steps forward into Raymond’s waiting arms. He grabs fistfuls of Raymond’s sweater and buries his face in Raymond’s shoulder.

 

“Do you want to talk about it, love?”

 

Leo shakes his head, but he still can’t stop his shoulders from twitching.

 

“Leo, honey, are you crying?”

 

Leo nods, and he feels Raymond’s arms tighten around him.

 

“Oh, my love. I am so sorry.”

 

“Not your fault,” Leo manages to choke out. “I may have…been more truthful than I meant to be…” He tries to stem the tears but he just ends up taking deep, gasping breaths instead, tears still leaking out of his eyes. “I may have…said some things I didn’t know I meant…”

 

“This is good, then, I think?”

 

Leo gives a watery chuckle through his sobs. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. Keeping your emotions bottled up is _bad_ , love, you know that. Maybe saying some of those things helped you let some stuff out. Do you wanna talk about what was true in what you said?”

 

Leo nods but doesn’t say anything, so Ray continues.

 

“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

 

“I didn’t mean to say that so publicly,” Leo sniffs, as he stops crying. He feels it lurking though, just waiting to pour back out at any second.

 

“But you do?”

 

Leo peers up at Raymond, looks at the love shining through Raymond’s eyes in the dim streetlight. He pulls a hand away from Raymond’s sweater and takes his smudged glasses off, slipping them into his breast pocket. Leo looks at Raymond, really looks at him. He truly tries to not take too much stock in the Oculus’ projected future, but he sees his lifeline intertwined with Raymond’s, all the way to the end. It warms him from the inside out, and he smiles slightly through the tears still shining on his face.

 

“I do, Raymond.”

 

Raymond kisses him and Leo just wants to do this forever, but Raymond pulls back all too soon. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, Leo. Um.” He pauses, looking simultaneously worried and pleased with himself. “You might want to, maybe, look at the ring?”

 

Leo releases that hand, holds it up to the light. It’s a silver band, with an interlocking pattern of snowflakes and the atom symbol etched into it. There are tiny stones inset in the center of each symbol: red in the center of the atoms, light blue in the center of the snowflakes. It feels cool against his skin.

 

“Raymond…what is this?”

 

“Leo, _do_ you want to marry me?” Raymond asks, reaching his hand out to touch Leo’s face.

 

“I’m…I’m too overwhelmed for this right now, Raymond,” he says, leaning into Raymond’s touch anyway. And he is—his mind is spinning, and he can’t grasp hold of the tornado of swirling running through his head.

 

“You still don’t have to give me an answer now, or ever.” Raymond holds Leo close. “I can hold on to the ring—”

 

“No. The ring stays.” Leo admires it, holding it up so it shines in the streetlights. He does love shiny things.

 

“It’s a wedding band, not an engagement ring,” Raymond says, but Leo shakes his head.

 

“It stays.”

 

Ray kisses him again, soft and sweet and all too fleeting. “Lisa and Cisco made the rings.”

 

“You…what?” Leo is having a hard time processing that statement.

 

Raymond grins, looking very pleased with himself. “Before we left. There’s, uh, a homing beacon in them. So we’ll always be able to find each other. I did that part. The frequency of the other band is etched on the inside of each ring. Cisco figured out a way to make them always feel cold and I miniaturized his tech. Lisa made the rings look pretty.”

 

“ _Lisa_ knew? That you…” Leo’s shocked that Lisa was able to keep a secret this big from him.

 

“She knew.”

 

“Anyone else?”

 

“No, just her and Cisco. I wanted to…ask Lisa. For her permission to, well, join the Snart family. I know you guys are very tight-knit, and I wanted to make sure I would be welcome. She offered to make the rings, and she volunteered Cisco to help. She was very enthusiastic about welcoming me to the family, by the way.”

 

Leo feels like he wants to cry again, but he’s all cried out. He looks down at the ring, then back up to Raymond. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Leo,” Ray replies, wrapping his arms around Leo again.

 

Amaya comes out of the bar, and shakes her head at them. “Come on, boys. Back to the ship.”

 

“We’ll be there in a sec,” Raymond says. Leo doesn’t trust himself to talk to someone other than Raymond right now.

 

They both rub at their eyes, and Raymond gently wipes the remaining tears off of Leo’s face with his thumb. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Leo says, then clears his throat. “Let’s go.”

 

—

 

The mission is a success, and the one after that, and the one after that.

 

Leo finally lets them plug him into Gideon again. It’s terrifying, but Raymond is there to catch him when they unplug him after a few minutes, and he sinks happily into his boyfriend’s warm embrace, while Jax and Sara go through the new data.

 

“We’re back on track, thanks to you,” Sara tells him, and it feels good. Finally.

 

After another successful mission, a little while later, the team piles back onto the ship. They’re all ready to change out of their suits and take nice long showers, but Leo’s been toying with a thought since he almost took a bullet to the chest for Raymond a few hours ago. Raymond doesn’t know, and Leo doesn’t plan on telling him, especially since Leo molded time to make sure that bullet explicitly did not come anywhere near either of them.

 

So he stops the team.

 

“Uh, hold on, everyone.” Leo turns to Stein. “Professor, I heard a rumor that you’re technically a Rabbi, is that true?”

 

“Um, well, yes.”

 

“Great, I’m gonna need you to perform a wedding ceremony.”

 

“Right now?!” Raymond asks, a huge grin visible through his helmet.

 

“Yeah.” Leo is determined.

 

“Love, we’re still in full costume.”

 

“So take your helmet off. I want to do this now.” Leo pulls his mask down, lets it fall around his neck. He pulls his cowl off his head. “I want to marry you. Right now.”

 

“Then I want to marry you right now.” Raymond throws his helmet off, steps forward and kisses Leo.

 

“Um, well, I suppose there are enough witnesses here to make it binding.” Stein stutters. “I suppose I could—”

 

“Great.” Leo steps into the center of his room, pulls off his gloves, and drops them onto the nearest chair. “We’re already wearing the rings.”

 

“Yes, I, uh, am aware of that, Mr. Snart. We are _all_ aware of that.”

 

Ray takes his gauntlets off, placing them on the center console before moving to join Leo.

 

“Well, before we begin, do you gentlemen have any vows you’d like to say?”

 

“I do,” Raymond says quickly. “Can I go first?” Leo nods at him. “Okay, good.” Raymond is smiling so large that he can barely talk around his grin. “Leo, I am so happy to have met you. I’ve had feelings for you since Russia, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. But I’ve loved you since Valentina held a gun to your head, and I knew that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.

 

“And then,” his smile dims a few watts, “and then I did lose you. And it shook me, it shook me far more than I ever thought it could. I was lost without you, my love. You fit so neatly into my life, into my heart, and I didn’t see it until it was too late. Then, miraculously, I got a second chance. The Oculus gave us a second chance—I think I would be remiss in my vows to not thank the Oculus for bringing us back together.”

 

Leo’s eyes glow briefly, in acknowledgment.

 

“That will never stop being weird,” Jax mutters.

 

Raymond ignores him and continues, “Leo, I would drop everything to be with you. I did, actually.”

 

Leo chuckles, remembering how he yelled at Raymond for coming to find him in Central City, all those months ago.

 

“I’d give all of this,” Raymond gestures to the ship, to the crew, “up for you. But part of why I love you so much is that I don’t have to. You can be at my side, through it all. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Leonard Snart. I love you.”

 

Raymond pulls Leo in for a short, sweet kiss. 

 

“My turn?” Leo asks, pulling back slightly.

 

“Yeah, love.”

 

“Raymond. Well. We all know I’m not good with feelings.” Light laughs come from the team, but Leo ignores them. “I’m not big on speeches. I didn’t _become_ a hero for you, but you make me want to be a better hero. You make me want to be a better man. You remind me constantly that my past does not define me, that I can make my own destiny…

 

“I’ve never really had a home. Never really had anyone but Lisa to call my family. And, Mick, sometimes.” He smiles at Mick, before turning back to Raymond. “But I’ve never had love in my life, not really. Not like this. Raymond, you are so full of love that sometimes I feel like I’m going to drown in it…and I would happily drown in your love, _darling_. You give me hope, you bring me joy. You have become my home, Raymond Palmer, and I am hopelessly in love with you.” He stops, wipes at his eyes, then nods to Stein.

 

Stein’s eyes are wet, as are most of the team’s. “Oh…okay.” He clears his throat and turns to Ray. “Raymond Palmer, do you take this man to be your husband?”

 

“I do,” Raymond says, smiling at Leo.

 

“Leonard Snart, do you take this man to be your husband?”

 

“I do,” Leo says, boldly.

 

“Then I now pronounce you, uh, married!”

 

Leo and Raymond kiss, deeply, and the team cheers.

 

Once they break apart, Leo makes an announcement: “Tonight, Raymond and I are going to celebrate alone, and I would recommend staying away from our quarters for at least a few hours. Tomorrow, we are taking the ship back to Central City, and we are going to celebrate with everyone.”

 

“Okay,” Sara rubs her hands together, “I’ll set a course for Central City and, uh, you guys enjoy yourselves, and we’ll get us back to 2017 and get a party together, okay?”

 

“Sounds great!” Ray replies. “Come on, _husband_ , let’s go.” Leo grins and lets Raymond pull him to their room for their first night together as a married couple.

 

—

 

_Here we are again. I suppose you want to know how it ends, how their story finishes. For me, it’s never over. Remember, all of time is always happening, for me._

_I can tell you that they’re happy. I can tell you that they’re in love, that they save the world, that they make a home for themselves. I can tell you that Leonard and Lisa stay close, that Raymond and Cisco love being brothers. I can tell you that the Legends save the world until they can’t anymore, and then they still keep going, keep pushing forward._

_I can tell you that some stories end in tragedy, some in pain, some in death and blood and bright, shining explosions._

_I can tell you that others end softly, more like a comma than a period, slipping off into the next life with a sigh._

_If there is a next life. I’m only in this dimension, after all. In this universe. Even_ I _don’t know what there is beyond the grave._

_I can tell you that I stay with Leonard until the end. I can’t tell you that his life is without its tragedies, because it’s not. He is a hero, after all. And what’s a hero without tragedy? But he has happiness, he has love, he has family._

_And, in the end, isn’t that all we can really ask for?_

_Humans, I mean. Me? All I need is adventure. So it’s on to the next vessel, the next life, the next, well, adventure._

_See you there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you for a wild ride! With this, I think my Oculus-verse has ended!
> 
> Thanks to Ruth for being a lovely beta.
> 
> And thanks so much to all of you for reading. I love you al!!


End file.
